make me believe Posted September 30, 2010 Posted September 30, 2010 How do you think the engagement ring should be chosen? Is it "less romantic" if the girl gives her input, or even goes with the guy to pick out the exact ring that she wants? My boyfriend and I went ring shopping this weekend and found my engagement ring & wedding band and they are PERFECT. My boyfriend actually gasped a little when I tried the ring on for the first time, and said it was totally "me." It's completely different than what he would have gotten had he picked the ring out on his own, but I tried on several rings that he would have chosen and we both agreed that none of them were right. Then I tried this one on and we fell in love. Ring shopping with him has been fun and exciting and nerve-wracking, and I find it a little offensive that some people have scrunched up their faces and told me how much more romantic it is for the guy to choose the ring by himself. One friend immediately went into this huge speech about how her husband chose the perrrrrfect ring without any input from her and she couldn't imagine marrying someone who "didn't know her well enough" to choose it by himself. Personally, I am going to wear this ring for the rest of my life, I want to make sure that I freakin LOVE IT! My boyfriend agrees with me, which is why he insisted on getting as much input as possible from me. So we chose the setting together, and now he will choose the diamond (since he's the one with the budget ), and take it from there. I am not super picky or demanding, but after trying on rings my BF would have chosen had I not been with him, I'm so glad we did it the way we did! (The rings he liked were beautiful, but much too bulky on me.) So, what do you guys think? Is it more romantic for the guy to pick it out alone? For those of you who are engaged or married, how did this process go for you? Should the girl just "hint around," and hope for the best??
Star Gazer Posted September 30, 2010 Posted September 30, 2010 Personally, I am going to wear this ring for the rest of my life, I want to make sure that I freakin LOVE IT! My thoughts? Unless it's something totally not you, whatever he gets you you will LOVE because HE got it for you. I don't think there's anything wrong with describing what you like (round vs. princess, yellow gold vs. white gold vs. platinum, solitaire vs. side stones, etc.), but I'd personally want no part in the actual picking-out of the ring.
Author make me believe Posted September 30, 2010 Author Posted September 30, 2010 I don't think there's anything wrong with describing what you like (round vs. princess, yellow gold vs. white gold vs. platinum, solitaire vs. side stones, etc.), but I'd personally want no part in the actual picking-out of the ring. Part of the problem for me was I didn't know what I wanted until I started trying them on! I wouldn't have known what to tell him because I didn't know what would look good on me or, really, anything about engagement rings at all. And I would have felt a little silly going to a jewelry store by myself in the name of "research." But, yeah, I think if I'd had a vision of what I wanted I probably could have just described a few key preferences to him and it would have been cool to see what he chose for me. But no worries, I've already convinced myself that not seeing the entire ring all put together (we just chose the setting) will make it enough of a surprise for me.
threebyfate Posted September 30, 2010 Posted September 30, 2010 While it's more romantic when the man picks the ring, there's nothing wrong with being part of the choice. If anything, it's far more practical. I love my ring since H. picked it himself. But it's not my optimal choice. My personal preference is more simple.
sweetjasmine Posted September 30, 2010 Posted September 30, 2010 Is it more romantic for the guy to pick it out alone? Yes, I think so, but that doesn't mean it's the best way to go for everyone. I'd personally rather do it the way you did, even though it's less romantic. A ring looks totally different on your hand than it does in a photo or in a display case, so it's hard to know what's right for someone unless they try it on. My SO has fairly good taste, IMO, but he doesn't know much about jewelry, clothes, shoes, or anything like that, so he doesn't trust his own opinions or judgments at all. If he had to look for an engagement ring on his own, he would basically be asking his mom and sister to pick one for him and he would worry that I wouldn't like it. Given that it's an expensive thing, even if you don't go for diamonds, I wouldn't want him to go through unnecessary unimportant stress over it. He once got me a fragrance since I had mentioned in passing a long time ago that it was one of my favorites, but he ended up getting a different formula from the same brand. I hadn't hinted or asked for any fragrance since I already had most of a bottle left, but I thought it was very sweet of him. When I opened it and thanked him, he said, "That's your favorite one, right?" I said that it was the same brand as my favorite, and he immediately said, "Crap, do you not like it? Did I get a bad one?" I actually love the fragrance he got me and think he made a great choice, but he was already worried that I wouldn't like it. So I would rather go with him and look at rings together, even if it means sacrificing a surprise or some romance. He wouldn't be left wondering what I really think about the ring he picked, and we would both be happy with the choice. And I don't think that picking a ring out together means you can't have an exciting, romantic proposal, so there's always that. As always, YMMV.
Citizen Erased Posted September 30, 2010 Posted September 30, 2010 I rather he picks mine out himself. I told him what I like (round cut, white gold ) and he can go from there. Whatever he chooses I am sure I will love. The style that I like is so simple, it's pretty hard to screw it up anyway.
Star Gazer Posted September 30, 2010 Posted September 30, 2010 I rather he picks mine out himself. I told him what I like (round cut, white gold ) and he can go from there. Whatever he chooses I am sure I will love. The style that I like is so simple, it's pretty hard to screw it up anyway. Okay, I admit it. In reality, the ex did ask... and I did walk around saying "Tiffany Novo" under my breath. (Not an actual Tiffany though...just what it looks like. ) But really, the thought of being at the store to help pick it out just seems...practical. And what's practical about love?
Citizen Erased Posted September 30, 2010 Posted September 30, 2010 Holy crap that ring is gorgeous. Uh Pyro...
Star Gazer Posted September 30, 2010 Posted September 30, 2010 Holy crap that ring is gorgeous. Uh Pyro... Haha! It's EXACTLY what sb129 has... I was quite jealous, as it's been my dream ring for years. Wonderboy did her goooood.
Citizen Erased Posted September 30, 2010 Posted September 30, 2010 It would without a doubt suit her. And you. I can admire it on someone else but on me...it's too much. Pyro is lucky he's not expected to be out 12k.
Star Gazer Posted September 30, 2010 Posted September 30, 2010 It would without a doubt suit her. And you. I can admire it on someone else but on me...it's too much. Pyro is lucky he's not expected to be out 12k. Oh, I wouldn't want an actual Tiffany...you're just paying for the name. There are plenty of look-alikes. For example, tell Pyro: Blue Nile Nouveau.
Citizen Erased Posted September 30, 2010 Posted September 30, 2010 Oh, I wouldn't want an actual Tiffany...you're just paying for the name. There are plenty of look-alikes. For example, tell Pyro: Blue Nile Nouveau. I think when I showed him what I liked I used Blue Nile as examples. So funny you should say that.
tigressA Posted September 30, 2010 Posted September 30, 2010 I'd do it the practical way, like you. I wouldn't want to take the chance of my SO paying a sizable amount of money for something that I may not even like. Of course, that would be if I wanted an engagement ring, and I don't. I think they are purely frivolous, and I plan on telling my future fiance just that.
Author make me believe Posted September 30, 2010 Author Posted September 30, 2010 A ring looks totally different on your hand than it does in a photo or in a display case, so it's hard to know what's right for someone unless they try it on. This is so true, and a really important point! I actually really liked the rings that my BF would have chosen, until I put them on. I have long, thin fingers, and I was surprised at how much I didn't like many of the rings once I put them on. So many of them just looked too big & bulky. And my BF sounds similar to yours. If he had been in charge of picking the ring by himself, he would have stressed himself out & been so worried that I wouldn't like it!
sb129 Posted September 30, 2010 Posted September 30, 2010 Hello people I heard my name! I don't have a Tiffany Novo, (thats the one I wanted and dropped lots of hints about!) i have this one. H picked it out himself after quite a few "tips" from me. I loved it then and still do now. If I could choose and money was no object, I love art deco inspired designs, kind of like this one. Make me believe- if you and your BF are happy, thats all that matters, after all you are the one who has to wear the ring!
Star Gazer Posted September 30, 2010 Posted September 30, 2010 I thought you had the Novo all this time! Yay! I can be the first! (Someday...) BTW...where have you been, chicken? I've missed you.
sb129 Posted September 30, 2010 Posted September 30, 2010 I thought you had the Novo all this time! Yay! I can be the first! (Someday...) BTW...where have you been, chicken? I've missed you. Wonderbaby is keeping me busy! She is trying to walk around the furniture and crawling and climbing everywhere, I can't take my eyes off her its chaos central round here. I am also working extra hours at work so have been a busy bee. Sorry- off topic!
KikiW Posted September 30, 2010 Posted September 30, 2010 I helped my fiance pick out the ring and I don't find it any less romantic. I have tried on several rings over the years (you know, just "dreaming"!) and none look as fantastic as the one we shopped for together.
Crazy Magnet Posted September 30, 2010 Posted September 30, 2010 I've actually never seen anything in a jewelry store, other than in the diamond district in NYC, that I would ever wear. I know, that makes me super picky. Luckily I found a dealer there that I LOVE that I have bought several pieces from. My boyfriend knows that I'm picky about jewelry and I wouldn't want him to stress or worry about if he gets the right thing. I don't think it's any less romantic. It's just really hard to describe this. Or at least it's hard to describe that to a man who knows nothing about jewelry. haha
Stung Posted September 30, 2010 Posted September 30, 2010 Hey, I'm with you, MMB. My husband knows me well and loves me a lot, but that doesn't mean he has my taste in jewelry. He's an engineer type, he needs strict guidelines, and jewelry is all about variables to me, how stone and design flow together with the hand and personality of the wearer. He knew me well enough to know the ring would be symbolically important to me, and to know I would want something individual, not a cookie cutter mall ring, and to know I wouldn't want a diamond--and he knew himself well enough to know he knows jack about jewelry. We went to a few different jewelry artisans and had a beautiful ring made for me in in platinum and sapphire, and it was a lot of fun and a very special memory. And it is totally NOT what I originally thought I would get, either, but the original designs I was aiming for either didn't look right on my hand, or were too intricate/gaudy to wear every day for a lifetime. And--congratulations!
Stung Posted September 30, 2010 Posted September 30, 2010 I've actually never seen anything in a jewelry store, other than in the diamond district in NYC, that I would ever wear. I know, that makes me super picky. Luckily I found a dealer there that I LOVE that I have bought several pieces from. My boyfriend knows that I'm picky about jewelry and I wouldn't want him to stress or worry about if he gets the right thing. I don't think it's any less romantic. It's just really hard to describe this. Or at least it's hard to describe that to a man who knows nothing about jewelry. haha Hey, that's from my very very good friend's husband's father's shop, I think her husband is the only one in that family who is NOT an NYC jeweler. They designed her rings for free, and they're beautiful.
allina Posted October 1, 2010 Posted October 1, 2010 When my now husband wanted to go ring shopping together I thought it was unromantic. I told him that I would love any ring he got me, plus he knew what I liked, he has picked out shoes and clothes for me before. He asked me to go and try a few things on with him because he wanted to see what different rings looked like on me. I was so glad we went! What I thought I wanted from looking at pictures was so different than what I loved in person. I didn't pick out a specific ring but I did pick out styles I liked. It was fun, I have a ring I absolutely love and the proposal wasn't any less romantic
MarthaX Posted October 3, 2010 Posted October 3, 2010 I always told my boyfriend I didn't want to know anything but we are ring shopping together these past few weeks. It's actually really hard, I've seen a ton and don't like most and don't love ANY. I told him I really think he should pick because it's just too hard for me and I'd love it simply because it's from him. I think it's romantic to be totally surprised but it's also really romantic looking at rings together!! It's also really fun. The plan is for me to find styles I like and he'll know from there.
melodymatters Posted October 3, 2010 Posted October 3, 2010 I remember my husband I were NOT out "ring shopping" at all. We ended up at a jewelery store amongst our daily tasks ( we had been talking about doing the deed, but no first steps were taken) and lo and behold, we found a perfect set. He LOVED his ring SO much, I think I fell in love with the set, and him even more, because of his adorable enthusiasm. At the end of the day, there's nothing more "romantic" than a man who is dying to marry you ! ( But if anyone is keeping count, that WOULD be a "we picked it out together and it was great" vote !)
True Love Posted October 11, 2010 Posted October 11, 2010 I always wondered how you can ask what her ring finger size is, without letting her know your thinking about getting one. Any idea's i don't know how to go about it..
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