stillfading99 Posted September 30, 2010 Posted September 30, 2010 (edited) Background: me and her are both 23. I reconnected with a girl I knew back in middle school (she was my first kiss!) by chance at a restaurant. I noticed a different last name and how unhappy she seemed so we began talking a bit. I got her number as a friendly act (or male hormones) and we ended up talking all night long. The energy between us was something I had not experienced since my first love. Her husband lives in another state right now for work. He has a few DUIs, is jealous and controlling, and she claims to not be in love with him. They have a 3 year old daughter together and have only been married a year, though dated each other on and off for like 7 or 8? On the social sites she has no pics of him, the wedding, or any mention of him. I have spent the night with her twice now and been to her apartment and there are no pictures, no references, absolutely nothing about the guy. She was separated from him earlier this year and even filled out divorce papers but she claims to be scared to leave for sake of breaking up her daughter from her dad. She drained her savings account for his DUIs and subsequent house arrest, lost a 2nd home they rented out, and has supported her daughter/herself this whole year. We have made it a point not to sleep together despite a few heated occasions. She says she has never had romance in her life and me being the romantic type is seriously making her fall for me. We have great chemistry and are both very responsible and compatible with our morals (despite this post) as well as our goals in life. Our situation doesn't feel like lust to me but we are both beginning to feel it's going so fast. Here's the problem: her lease is up in a month and he has been wanting her to move to the state he is in. She has already done it once before and came back because they fought, she hated being away from her family and being alone, etc. She doesn't know what to do and now I don't either. I told her to make the right decision based on her own happiness for her and her daughter and that if she chooses to stay maybe we can be together if she files the divorce papers. Our energy together is intense and not even just sexually. We are both severely into each other on much more than a physical level. That is why I am even thinking about sticking around. I don't want to break up the marriage or have an affair. I genuinely care about her and feel some kind of hope that she will stay. Of course I want it to be with me, but I can't see her happy going back to a place she already went and hated. I think she is a smart girl, just scared. She is loyal 'enough' to want to slow down with me and also not sleep together. I plan to respect that but want a deeper relationship with her. She just got a really good job offer yesterday as well so I keep thinking that stars are lining up for her to stay. So now I have slowed down the communication to give her time without me indirectly influencing her so she can maybe think more clearly. Any tips on what I should do? There's so much more timing involved with other things in both our lives/recent pasts that I just feel like this is special and I need to wait it out since she would have to make her decision soon to move or not. Edited September 30, 2010 by stillfading99 added text
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