liannemr Posted September 29, 2010 Posted September 29, 2010 I really don't even know how to react. Part of me wants to have a dialogue on what he contacted me about. 1. Last Months cell phone bill and this months cell phone bill. When he informed me that he had stopped wanting to have sex with me after the 1st year we were together (we've been together 8) and found out he was using his cell phone to cheat on me. I decided to not pay the cell phone bill anymore. As of last Friday, I have a new service and new phone totally away from him. Also, side note, I have been the one paying for cell phone service for 4 years for his phone and mine, even though we have been living apart for 2 years while he convinced me how he wanted his space alone and that he had "too much on his plate" to work on us. 2. I have paid 22k towards an investment of 47k that we made jointly while he has paid nothing towards the debt. He informed me that any monies I paid in the past were towards the "interest" on the note and that none of it is being credited. Now he is demanding that I "honor" my agreement to pay half of the investment. I've repeatedly asked him to show me the actual numbers and interest rate he is charging me, which he refuses to do. He owns the house we took a loan against for the initial investment and although he can't seem to wrap around his head that he will get his portion of investment (even though the business failed) returned in equity in the home he owns, while I take 100% loss, he is now adding insult to injury by not even crediting what I have paid in the past 5 years. He has my laptop he refuses to give back to me along with other personal items that he deems "his" since they are in our storage building and I'm not allowed to have any of them. I feel like I am being sucked in a vortex here, do i answer him? do i respond with a big F. U. and risk him creating more drama for me? He posted how happy he was on FB last night but i fear it was to just "dig" at me and keep the wound open. Or! maybe he really is that clueless and unethical. After all, he has every one of the traits listed for Narcissism. I don't know what to do..but my momma always told me .. "when in doubt, do nothing". Am i being selfish for not paying for a cell phone that i told him i would just because he used and still uses it to cheat on me with some chick who lives in her daddy's house due to health issues caused by severe alcoholism? While I am out here working 50 hours a week to pay my own bills and living expenses? Am i being a bitter woman? or is he trying to draw me into a dialogue so he can keep control over me. He has systematically abused me verbally, physically, and emotionally for 8 years. That's the hard part of this and today of all days, i finally broke through the pain enough to laugh with friends and get out of the funk he put me in. What do ya'll think?
Iselia Posted September 30, 2010 Posted September 30, 2010 I really don't even know how to react. Part of me wants to have a dialogue on what he contacted me about. 1. Last Months cell phone bill and this months cell phone bill. When he informed me that he had stopped wanting to have sex with me after the 1st year we were together (we've been together 8) and found out he was using his cell phone to cheat on me. I decided to not pay the cell phone bill anymore. As of last Friday, I have a new service and new phone totally away from him. Also, side note, I have been the one paying for cell phone service for 4 years for his phone and mine, even though we have been living apart for 2 years while he convinced me how he wanted his space alone and that he had "too much on his plate" to work on us. 2. I have paid 22k towards an investment of 47k that we made jointly while he has paid nothing towards the debt. He informed me that any monies I paid in the past were towards the "interest" on the note and that none of it is being credited. Now he is demanding that I "honor" my agreement to pay half of the investment. I've repeatedly asked him to show me the actual numbers and interest rate he is charging me, which he refuses to do. He owns the house we took a loan against for the initial investment and although he can't seem to wrap around his head that he will get his portion of investment (even though the business failed) returned in equity in the home he owns, while I take 100% loss, he is now adding insult to injury by not even crediting what I have paid in the past 5 years. He has my laptop he refuses to give back to me along with other personal items that he deems "his" since they are in our storage building and I'm not allowed to have any of them. I feel like I am being sucked in a vortex here, do i answer him? do i respond with a big F. U. and risk him creating more drama for me? He posted how happy he was on FB last night but i fear it was to just "dig" at me and keep the wound open. Or! maybe he really is that clueless and unethical. After all, he has every one of the traits listed for Narcissism. I don't know what to do..but my momma always told me .. "when in doubt, do nothing". Am i being selfish for not paying for a cell phone that i told him i would just because he used and still uses it to cheat on me with some chick who lives in her daddy's house due to health issues caused by severe alcoholism? While I am out here working 50 hours a week to pay my own bills and living expenses? Am i being a bitter woman? or is he trying to draw me into a dialogue so he can keep control over me. He has systematically abused me verbally, physically, and emotionally for 8 years. That's the hard part of this and today of all days, i finally broke through the pain enough to laugh with friends and get out of the funk he put me in. What do ya'll think? Sue him for your laptop and other property. Then kick his @ss to the curb. He is trying to keep you hooked. He wants you around in case nothing else works out for him. It's so pathetic that he is acting this way! You are NOT bitter in any way, shape, or form. I'm so sorry he is putting you through this.
Author liannemr Posted September 30, 2010 Author Posted September 30, 2010 Well now he's blowing up my phone with nasty texts. More like veiled threats. He knows this election I am campaigning for is very important to me. He has threatened in the past to "go public" with what kind of person I am. I realize that most people who know me, know the truth and those he would have access to probably 1. don't live in our district and 2. aren't the type to vote anyways as it means they have to get off the bar stool long enough to actually cast a vote. Today, I found out I am 3 to 1 against my opponent, which is good, considering I have had a hard time focusing on getting my message out to the voters with all the distraction and drama. I won't blame him solely, as I allowed him back into my life for a brief week. The only thing that really scares me is he threatened to write a letter to the editor claiming i don't pay my bills (him). I don't know if he would actually do that because he believes in what I am doing and for what I am about. But reading about narcissist with additional drug and alcohol issues, I've learned that they can become extremely dangerous and volatile. We are less than 5 weeks from the election (REMEMBER TO VOTE!), and I just can't afford this. My chest aches tonight, not because I loved this man and miss him, I do. I always will remember the kind gentle man who swept me off my feet. This is a person I don't like and I don't trust. My chest aches simply because I fear what is about to be unleashed by him. Thanks for answering. I really need advice tonight.
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