mjv1986 Posted September 29, 2010 Posted September 29, 2010 Hi Guys, I am just wanting a bit of advice! My story is on this thread http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t238308/ but in short, me and my ex broke up about 3 months ago and I got the following text today, even though I told her to STOP! texting/phoning me (it was her that broke it off btw!) This is the text she sent "Im going to the pub with Russ (my best friend) tonight and wanna ask the guys (my other friends I hang around with!) too is that ok? I wanna ask you but I know you wont come but dont wanna go behind your back" (bits in brackets are my added info!) Now Russ has been friends with my Ex for 9-10 years (thats who we met through!) so I can understand perhaps them meeting up, but my other friends, barely liked her,and they barely knew her until we were going out! However, I know I can't control people but I would prefer it if my friends weren't seeing this girl? Can I say anything to my firneds without sounding like "its her or me" and if so what? My friends are a bit stupid and probably wont "think" it will affect me, unless I say anything! Is just her way of getting to me and I should just leave it? Thanks for any help/advice!
BigProc Posted September 29, 2010 Posted September 29, 2010 I can understand your concern. I would hate it if my m8s started hanging around with my ex. I sugest you just mention to your friends in a subtle way that you would rather them not go out with her. If they value your friendship they should understand.
Billie The Puppet Posted September 29, 2010 Posted September 29, 2010 I'm sorry but you are over thinking things your friends and your ex have every right to hang out or be friends themselves. You don't get to choose that. My ex introduced me to her friends and some of them I have remained friends with. I'm even friends with my ex's sister. My ex did the breaking. The key is to not let it get to you.
Author mjv1986 Posted September 29, 2010 Author Posted September 29, 2010 Thank you for the feedback. I think the point is, she wasn't ever really friends with any of my friends Except my best friend even during the relationship! I just don't understand why she suddenly feels she is friends with them now? Her seeing Russ does not bother me as I knwo they are friends!
Billie The Puppet Posted September 29, 2010 Posted September 29, 2010 It is a power thing to keep your mind guessing like it is if you show her it doesn't bother you she loses that power struggle. By letting it bother you she wins. I hung out with my ex's sister and my ex told us both she wasn't bothered but than on another occasion told me she was. In all honesty it was not a power thing with me I just wanted chance to say goodbye as I'll obviously hang out far less now.
Username37 Posted September 30, 2010 Posted September 30, 2010 My ex took my best friends away. Now there no friends of mine. ****ing bitch
Ajax Posted September 30, 2010 Posted September 30, 2010 My ex took my best friends away. Now there no friends of mine. ****ing bitch How did that happen? Some friends.
Username37 Posted September 30, 2010 Posted September 30, 2010 How did that happen? Some friends. Ex broke up with me before the summer. Friends told me that they were gonna support me through the break up. Then a week later, they hung out with her and they got really really close to the point where they were totally on her side so I lost support from the people that told me that they'll help me. I barely talk to them now and my ex is all comfy with them. I got new friends, friends that I can trust and friends that love me. My ex called me her "close friend" but she treated me like total **** after the break up. Actions speak louder than words.
Ajax Posted September 30, 2010 Posted September 30, 2010 My ex called me her "close friend" but she treated me like total **** after the break up. Actions speak louder than words. Yeah, I know how that is. My ex said she NEEDED me in her life during the breakup. Haven't heard from her. Not that i want to be her friend mind you. I'm just saying, they like to say stuff that sounds good at the time but they don't really mean it.
Username37 Posted September 30, 2010 Posted September 30, 2010 Yeah, I know how that is. My ex said she NEEDED me in her life during the breakup. Haven't heard from her. Not that i want to be her friend mind you. I'm just saying, they like to say stuff that sounds good at the time but they don't really mean it. They don't mean it. It's to relieve themselves and not to look like a total bitch for breaking your heart. I'm glad I turned down friendship. The **** that she did would've still happened, but it would be worse because I would've been her fall pillow.
fabio10 Posted September 30, 2010 Posted September 30, 2010 Let her invite them all who cares its only a night out afew hours thats all, they aint going to turn against you after a night out with her, tell her cool thats fine have a great time I would love to go but unfortunately I've plans that night. You never know she might tell your friends her true feelings for you when the drink loosens her tongue
Recommended Posts