eggy Posted September 29, 2010 Posted September 29, 2010 Fiancée left me about 2 months ago and threw every cliche at me. "I love you, but not in love with you" "Its not you, its me", ETC. Been 2 months of no contact and haven't herd a word from her. I know she is very much the jealous type and very territorial of me (even before we dated). My question is does "Jealousy" work to get someone back? How many females on here went back to their ex because they were jealous of them being with another girl? I hate to play games but I really love this girl and I think shes just really confuse right now. I need to do something to get her to snap out of it. Any feedback will be great!
Star Gazer Posted September 29, 2010 Posted September 29, 2010 Do you want her to come back just because she doesn't want anyone else to have you (jealousy)? Or do you want her to come back because she wants you?
NayWinter Posted September 29, 2010 Posted September 29, 2010 It wouldn't work for me personally. If I wanted an ex back, and he was already with another woman, to me he'd be tainted and unattrative. BUT, I've known many women that react as you've described and wanted their ex's back simply because they are with someone else. Hopefully, since you really love this girl, she'll snap out of it on her own so that you don't have to worry about playing games like that. Good luck to you.
NayWinter Posted September 29, 2010 Posted September 29, 2010 Do you want her to come back just because she doesn't want anyone else to have you (jealousy)? Or do you want her to come back because she wants you? Very well put. You should ask yourself that question, Eggy.
Author eggy Posted September 29, 2010 Author Posted September 29, 2010 Sometimes you need to push a car to kick start it.
Author eggy Posted September 29, 2010 Author Posted September 29, 2010 I know its manipulative but isnt flirting and wooing a girl/guy manipulating as well?
CLC2008 Posted September 29, 2010 Posted September 29, 2010 I agree with Star. For yourself, you shouldn't want someone back, just because they are jealous, but rather because they want to be with you. I think once a person is no longer in love, it is very difficult to generate those types of feelings again. I am not sure what caused the break up, but people generally don't just "fall out of love" in the blink of an eye. Jealousy can cause resent, so, I think you should examine the relationship as a whole first, before deciding on a course of action for yourself.
USMCHokie Posted September 29, 2010 Posted September 29, 2010 Sometimes you need to push a car to kick start it. Sometimes you need to trade-in a broken car for a better car that will start on its own. I'm with Star and CLC on this one...
Author eggy Posted September 29, 2010 Author Posted September 29, 2010 My first car! Although she may have given up on me i'm not ready to give up on her just yet. Until I know that its 100% irreparable I cannot give up.
make me believe Posted September 29, 2010 Posted September 29, 2010 BUT, I've known many women that react as you've described and wanted their ex's back simply because they are with someone else. Yep, I've known situations like that too, and they are NOT healthy. Eggy, flirting & wooing someone you're attracted to is not manipulation. Dating someone else in an attempt to make your ex jealous IS, and it's also CRUEL to the person you're pretending to be interested in. Your ex has apparently moved on and I'm not sure why you think you still have a chance.....? She hasn't even bothered to contact you in the two months since she left you. I'm sorry, but come on. She doesn't want to be with you. It sucks, yeah, I get that. But you have to move on. Groveling at her feet isn't going to make her think any better of you.. Sometimes you need to push a car to kick start it. Cute, but no. If someone wants to be with you, they WILL be with you. They won't need a kick start because their feelings for you will be enough of a "kick start."
CLC2008 Posted September 29, 2010 Posted September 29, 2010 My first car! Although she may have given up on me i'm not ready to give up on her just yet. Until I know that its 100% irreparable I cannot give up. But why did she "give up" on you eggy?
Author eggy Posted September 29, 2010 Author Posted September 29, 2010 make me believe: Before you attack me, let me just say I wasn't planning to use anyone. I was just going to hang out with my gal pals (whom suggested it). In fact I have passed up sex with a few times already since the BU cuz it still feels like cheating to me. CLC2008: I don't know, and I wish I did. If I did I would have closure and wouldn't be on here finding answers. And please don't all try to act as if you all never thought of this.
PegNosePete Posted September 29, 2010 Posted September 29, 2010 You need to go NC with her. Remove all contact. Show her strength, not clinginess. If she decides to come back, great. If not, move on. And no, I never thought of doing that, no act.
CLC2008 Posted September 29, 2010 Posted September 29, 2010 CLC2008: I don't know, and I wish I did. If I did I would have closure and wouldn't be on here finding answers. Were there other questions about the relationship that we missed? You only really asked if making someone jealous, would make them come back.
ComeUndone Posted September 30, 2010 Posted September 30, 2010 Fiancée left me about 2 months ago and threw every cliche at me. "I love you, but not in love with you" "Its not you, its me", ETC. Been 2 months of no contact and haven't herd a word from her. I know she is very much the jealous type and very territorial of me (even before we dated). My question is does "Jealousy" work to get someone back? How many females on here went back to their ex because they were jealous of them being with another girl? I hate to play games but I really love this girl and I think shes just really confuse right now. I need to do something to get her to snap out of it. Any feedback will be great! If you have already gone 2 months of no contact with her then you should not take steps backwards by resorting to game-playing. I don't think games would work anyway, and even if they did it would be for the wrong reasons. If she came back to you out of jealousy you would always be worried she would up and leave again.... and she probably would. You stated that you have not heard a word from her in that time frame.... something is going on. My guess is that she met someone else. 2 months is a long time to have not heard from her at all. She said the "it's not you, it's me" line to let you off easy.
MichiganMan222 Posted October 1, 2010 Posted October 1, 2010 Don't try anything. If she wants you back, she'll find you....most likely after you're happily in a new relationship.
Am4Real Posted November 29, 2010 Posted November 29, 2010 make me believe: Before you attack me, let me just say I wasn't planning to use anyone. I was just going to hang out with my gal pals (whom suggested it). In fact I have passed up sex with a few times already since the BU cuz it still feels like cheating to me. CLC2008: I don't know, and I wish I did. If I did I would have closure and wouldn't be on here finding answers. And please don't all try to act as if you all never thought of this. Eggy, From what little you describe it seems to be just about information to tell you she is likely seeing someone else. Sorry.
Recommended Posts