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Just wrote my ex a 'f off I don't want to talk to you' script for when she calls

durkadurka

By durkadurka
in Coping

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durkadurka Established Member

durkadurka

Posted
Posted (edited)

Been pissed at my ex for a while, she used me pretty harshly after being in a relationship for 2.5 years. A few weeks (read: 3) after I visited her because she was lonely and sad, and only 1 week after she stopped talking to me.. she told me she was 'seeing' someone 'casually'.

 

I don't have the benefit of knowing how serious it is, nor giving a sh*t. If it were casual I probably wouldn't have cared but it was still a serious kick in the balls to hear right on the tail of me visiting her.

 

She's called a few times since she told me, and when I didn't return the call, she called and texted me. This pisses me off that she could do what she did, then expect me to call her back.

 

I wrote myself a basic script that I wanted to stick to when she calls, so that I don't make an ass of myself, because us men, as much as we hate to admit it, we fall to pieces when an ex calls that we still kind of like.

 

Whatta ya think?

 

 

Dear X,

 

Thanks for calling. I know you would like to be a part of my life, and I've spent some time thinking about our friendship. Whether it was trying to cheer you up after a late night phone call after a hard day, trying to support you through and help improve your business proposal which has had its share of ups and downs, or flying down there to cheer you up when you were lonely, I feel that I deserve to be treated better than I have.

 

A particular comment that stuck out was when you said I didn't want to talk about our relationship in St. Louis and that we had a chance. It was mean and wrong. Whether it was the 3 page letter I left for you, or telling you that I would love to move down and help you work on this massive business proposal (even so far as going to say I would be willing to be your gopher), taking you to all your favourite places, or simply flying down to visit you (much to your surprise and excitement) when you needed a companion and a friend, I was there. I worked my hardest to be the best person that I could be, and make sure that you were happy.

 

I feel that the choices that have been made since, what has been said, and the way things have been handled are not those of someone who cares about me, my feelings, our history and our friendship.

 

I don't think we have anything to talk about anymore.

 

All the best.

 

Y

 

I think it's pretty straight forward. Edited by durkadurka
Cee Established Member

Cee

Posted
Posted

No script is necessary. Ignore texts or calls. The way I dealt with my ex was that I changed my phone number. Twice b/c he conned someone into giving him my number. And then he showed up at my apartment. And I caved, but I regrouped and started healing again.

 

It is painful and uncomfortable to deal with an ex's contact, but lengthy scripted conversations feed into the disease.

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durkadurka Established Member

durkadurka

Posted
  • Author
Posted
No script is necessary. Ignore texts or calls. The way I dealt with my ex was that I changed my phone number. Twice b/c he conned someone into giving him my number. And then he showed up at my apartment. And I caved, but I regrouped and started healing again.

 

It is painful and uncomfortable to deal with an ex's contact, but lengthy scripted conversations feed into the disease.

 

It's only kind of a script. When she calls I plan on seriously condensing it.

 

I just kind of wanted to put down a general framework of what I wanted to say.

 

Which is, I want nothing to do with you, you made me feel guilty as ****, and think before you hurt and insult someone when you want to be their friend.

 

Now **** off.

skydiveaddict Established Member

skydiveaddict

Posted
Posted

No do do it. Just ignore her completely, block her phone# (easy to do), fb, all the other crap that goes with letting go. Hard to do I know, but it's the fastest way to get over her.

PegNosePete Established Member

PegNosePete

Posted
Posted
It's only kind of a script. When she calls I plan on seriously condensing it.

Condense it to two words. One of which has 4 letters.

paleblue Established Member

paleblue

Posted
Posted

I know you want too, and if you feel like you need to get a few last digs in there, sure. But I wouldn’t get into all that. I would just tell her your not interested in being her fake friend, and if she is seeing another guy, causal or otherwise, you have nothing to talk about with her. Then end the conversation politely.

TaraMaiden Established Member

TaraMaiden

Posted
Posted
Condense it to two words. One of which has 4 letters.

 

 

Yes, it's Russian. it ends in 'off'.....

 

and it's not smirn....;)

 

Actually though, silence would speak greater volumes. It will tell her to smirn-off louder and clearer than anything else you could say. :)

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durkadurka Established Member

durkadurka

Posted
  • Author
Posted
Yes, it's Russian. it ends in 'off'.....

 

and it's not smirn....;)

 

Actually though, silence would speak greater volumes. It will tell her to smirn-off louder and clearer than anything else you could say. :)

 

I did the silence thing for a while. I don't think silence will ever lay out in front of her what she did.

 

Silence comes off as a bit petty, but I completely understand where you are coming from.

TaraMaiden Established Member

TaraMaiden

Posted
Posted

"petty"...?

What do you care how it comes off..?!

Don't think about 'how it comes off'..!

petty, or anything else - it doesn't matter!

 

It doesn't matter what she thinks, or anyone else thinks. No contact and total silence is for you, for your benefit, and for your healing.

Only.

It's not there to do anything for her, or consider her feelings in any way. Any form of contact - whether it's p1$$ off or platitudes - is still contact. And as such, sets you back, because you latch onto that as "Well the last time I spoke to her...."...

 

petty be damned.

It's for your own good, and who cares what it is?

it's right.

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durkadurka Established Member

durkadurka

Posted
  • Author
Posted
"petty"...?

What do you care how it comes off..?!

Don't think about 'how it comes off'..!

petty, or anything else - it doesn't matter!

 

It doesn't matter what she thinks, or anyone else thinks. No contact and total silence is for you, for your benefit, and for your healing.

Only.

It's not there to do anything for her, or consider her feelings in any way. Any form of contact - whether it's p1$$ off or platitudes - is still contact. And as such, sets you back, because you latch onto that as "Well the last time I spoke to her...."...

 

petty be damned.

It's for your own good, and who cares what it is?

it's right.

 

Hi Tara,

 

You are absolutely right. It just popped up on my facebook feed that the guy she's dating has added her brother and her mother.

 

I'm guessing things are pretty serious then. It's been a VERY degrading experience considering how much support I gave her even after we had broken up.

 

Even worse, she said some pretty mean things when she told me she was seeing someone, that were really unfair things to say.

 

I'm debating removing her off of my facebook completely, and her brother, and her friends. Maybe that's just the best way.

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