iwanttolive Posted September 29, 2010 Posted September 29, 2010 I was just browsing through a couple of my friends' wedding albums. Emotions always run high in the family. A bride was tearful when her parents bring her veil over to her face together. Family members hugging and congratulating each other. Groom and brides thanking their parents for bringing them up with love. Nieces and nephews adoring their uncle and aunt on their special day. I'm afraid of my own wedding day. I come from a broken family and have studied and worked overseas alone since I was twelve. I'm the only child. I'm not close to any of my cousins, many of them were still toddlers when I left. Some do not even recognize me. My mom was strict with me when I was a kid and I'm now a stoic and private person. I'm afraid on my wedding day that I would not feel like giving a thank you speech for my parents. I feel all prickly thinking of hugging them. There will not be any nieces or nephews. I don't wish for my parents to cover my face with veil. I'm afraid there won't be a joyful family emotion captured in photographs as well. I've also had many bad (some abusive) relationships in the past. My fiance is the most wonderful human being but I keep a distance from him, afraid I'll be hurt and disappointed one day. Will I be a happy and radiant bride on my wedding day?
fltc Posted September 29, 2010 Posted September 29, 2010 Your choice. You can be a happy and radiant bride if you so chose. Please make that decision and start working on it, OK?
denise_xo Posted September 29, 2010 Posted September 29, 2010 I was just browsing through a couple of my friends' wedding albums. Emotions always run high in the family. A bride was tearful when her parents bring her veil over to her face together. Family members hugging and congratulating each other. Groom and brides thanking their parents for bringing them up with love. Nieces and nephews adoring their uncle and aunt on their special day. I'm afraid of my own wedding day. I come from a broken family and have studied and worked overseas alone since I was twelve. I'm the only child. I'm not close to any of my cousins, many of them were still toddlers when I left. Some do not even recognize me. My mom was strict with me when I was a kid and I'm now a stoic and private person. I'm afraid on my wedding day that I would not feel like giving a thank you speech for my parents. I feel all prickly thinking of hugging them. There will not be any nieces or nephews. I don't wish for my parents to cover my face with veil. I'm afraid there won't be a joyful family emotion captured in photographs as well. I've also had many bad (some abusive) relationships in the past. My fiance is the most wonderful human being but I keep a distance from him, afraid I'll be hurt and disappointed one day. Will I be a happy and radiant bride on my wedding day? Do you have to get married? And do you have to have a traditional wedding party? Personally, I would have preferred not to have a wedding party. We did it for the community/ family/ legal purposes. I've never 'dreamed of' a wedding day and like you I'm very distanced from my family so celebrating the day with them really wasn't something I had ever wanted to do. For practical reasons, I didn't have any of my own family in my wedding and only a couple of my friends. I just treated it as something we needed to get out of the way to be together. It was fine, I had fun, but I definitely didn't align with the stereotype of a radiantly happy bride. My point is that maybe you don't have to go with all the wedding stereotypes if you don't want to. Maybe the two of you can have a quiet wedding together with a few close family and friends. Maybe you can run away somewhere to an embassy and get married. Maybe you can get married in your lunch hour (I know someone who did). Figure out what it takes to make you happy and relaxed on your wedding day, and plan accordingly.
Leigh 87 Posted September 29, 2010 Posted September 29, 2010 You do not need to be one of those emotional people. I am not. I am not the type who cries at weddings, or would like to publicly declare my affection for a guy. Hugging sometimes in public is fine, but I would NOT feel comfortable having a whole c eremony about it. There are fundamental things in life that need to be in place for you to be happy; you need to try to be a good version of who you truly are, have a secure job or income, and get toi know yourself enough so that you have hobbies and interest, and a life that you enjoy enough to not NEED another person to make things okay. However, being bubbly or emotional are not traits that one needs to be sucessful in life. You can be stoic and not openly express much emotion, and still have everything you need in life to have a great time. But sheesh - I it makes me sick thinking of my dad walking nme down the isel and : giving me away'. Makes me more sick thinking of actually crying over it. Yuck. gooy emotional crap is just NOT who I am. but I love giving back to others and being gernous with my time and money, so on the other hand, I am still a nice person even though I amn not emotional, in an open sense.
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