ShadowBlue Posted September 29, 2010 Posted September 29, 2010 (edited) What if I don't want to do anything related to losing weight because I am so tired of their constant badgering and attempts at manipulation????? If they would leave me alone I probably WOULD do this on my own but I am constantly smothered and toxically unable to live because of this bull s***. They are the classic example of toxic parents and they won't leave me alone. :mad: :mad: They are EXTREMELY NEGATIVE towards anything about me despite the fact that I have gone well above and beyond anything I have ever done over the past several years - I've completed college and completely got myself out of debt. But does that matter? NO!!!! My stepdad is constantly up my ass about it day in and day out, and my mom is no better. I had a bad injury yesterday related to me twisting my leg wrong (totally unrelated to my weight) when the first time they see me they start in on me about my weight and how this is the beginning of the end and the decline where my body starts to fall apart. God I'm so tired of this. At first I was just planning to move out but now I'm going to move out and never speak to them again if they keep this up. If anything at all happens to me it's all a big traumatic event related to my weight. :mad: :mad: EDIT: BTW, I'm not that terribly overweight - only about 40 lbs. over where I should be. Edited September 29, 2010 by ShadowBlue
USMCHokie Posted September 29, 2010 Posted September 29, 2010 What if I don't want to do anything related to losing weight because I am so tired of their constant badgering and attempts at manipulation????? If they would leave me alone I probably WOULD do this on my own but I am constantly smothered and toxically unable to live because of this bull s***. They are the classic example of toxic parents and they won't leave me alone. :mad: :mad: This is generally the attitude that takes one from overweight into obesity. They only "badger" you because they care about your health and wellness. It's no secret that obesity is a problem in our society that can lead to a host of health problems later in life, and your attitude makes it that much more likely these issues may develop as you get older. But to each their own. If it's not something that's important to you, then all the power to you.
Author ShadowBlue Posted September 29, 2010 Author Posted September 29, 2010 I am appalled with your post. Clearly you have ignored the fact that I have completed college and gotten myself out of debt, much like they have ignored it, and that means nothing. In addition to that: 1. I work eight hours a day every day holding down a job. 2. I am constantly called upon to do a ton of different things for them (many store trips, etc. etc. etc.). 3. I sleep the rest of the time because I have no energy left to DO anything else because of all the other stuff I have to do. 4. I am 30 years old. I don't need lectures on my attitude, thank you very much.
USMCHokie Posted September 29, 2010 Posted September 29, 2010 Whelp, sorry to hear you feel that way. Best of luck to you.
laRubiaBonita Posted September 29, 2010 Posted September 29, 2010 This is generally the attitude that takes one from overweight into obesity. They only "badger" you because they care about your health and wellness. It's no secret that obesity is a problem in our society that can lead to a host of health problems later in life, and your attitude makes it that much more likely these issues may develop as you get older. But to each their own. If it's not something that's important to you, then all the power to you. OR it drives one to severe restrictive eating- Or anorexia And/ OR bulimia. but ShadowBlue- maybe this can be the push you need to move out of the house. yes, it TOTALLY SUPER GREAT that you are getting things squared away, i.e. getting out of college and debt. now get in gear and get out of their home. then, if you want, start an good healthy eating routine that you like and are happy with. i get that parents do get to their kids- after all they do know the buttons to push. but you are 30, living at home- you have finished school and are seemingly debt free.... what's keeping you at home when you are not happy there? once you are not there i would hope things would get better with your relationship with them both- after all absence can make the heart get semi- amnesia and possibly make it grow fonder. do not shut them out, it's not as great as it may sound.
Star Gazer Posted September 29, 2010 Posted September 29, 2010 3. I sleep the rest of the time because I have no energy left to DO anything else because of all the other stuff I have to do. You'd have MORE energy if you exercised and ate right.
eerie_reverie Posted September 29, 2010 Posted September 29, 2010 You'd have MORE energy if you exercised and ate right. Trudat. You'd probably have a more positive outlook, too. It's funny how that works. What are you doing living at home and btching about your parents at age 30 anyway?
Dazzel Posted September 29, 2010 Posted September 29, 2010 I cannot fault her for living at home while being 30. A lot of kids live at home that long these days. My brothers didn't move out until they were 27 or 30. It's not all that uncommon. I joke with my parents that they are gonna be stuck with me for several more years since I'm a few years behind those ages. However, with your good job and all, and being debt free, maybe getting out would be a good idea? That way you wouldn't be into it day and in and day out. I can totally relate. I really should lose around 60 or more pounds. My mom is CONSTANTLY on me for it. Every day. And it wears on your nerves and makes you want to eat out of spite. The more someone nags you, the less you actually want to do it.
Author ShadowBlue Posted September 29, 2010 Author Posted September 29, 2010 Yeah, I know...my motivation and desire to do so is about -100 right now due to quite a few factors that I have to fix first before feeling motivated enough to want to eat right/exercise. The only reason why I am still at home is that I am building up savings to move out. As unhappy as I am and as much as I don't want to be here - I would never tell this to my parents of course; that would just start a big fight - I have to save some money first before moving out. I don't want to use or have to use credit cards ever in any way shape or form once I move out. I plan on moving out at the beginning of the year after I save up enough for my new place, although it continues to seem farther and farther away. Ugh!! I could always look into a roommate situation, however. That may be far more desirable for me at this point considering the savings I'll be able to accrue as a result. Hmmmmmm... BTW, I'm a guy Also, it's not like it's my first time moving out. I've already been in my own place several times. And God how much I miss it so. I want to move out and move out for good this time.
Star Gazer Posted September 29, 2010 Posted September 29, 2010 Yeah, I know...my motivation and desire to do so is about -100 right now due to quite a few factors that I have to fix first before feeling motivated enough to want to eat right/exercise. Such as...?
Author ShadowBlue Posted September 30, 2010 Author Posted September 30, 2010 Well my own rut for one thing. Gotta figure out a way to get out of it and break the cycle. :\
LoveAintEverything Posted September 30, 2010 Posted September 30, 2010 You are right, they need to leave you alone, so you can do this on your own. If they were not always on your asss you would have the weight gone by now. Just start to ignore them from now on and do what you want to do and what makes you happy
Disillusioned Posted October 9, 2010 Posted October 9, 2010 Well, no... but I have a neighbor whose parents used to tell him he was a failure and he'd never amount to anything.
allina Posted October 9, 2010 Posted October 9, 2010 I gained a lot of weight in college and my parents were not ok with it. I wasn't even overweight by bmi standards but I was way too fat My parents weren't trying to be cruel, they were blunt. It was very hurtful but they were right.
Tayla Posted October 10, 2010 Posted October 10, 2010 True facts: Its your body and no one can tell you how to manage it. The medical industry may endorse a particular scale to aide in deterring body stress and organ diminishing. Otherwise do yourself a favor and listen to your body. It knows. There is a proverb- the road to He** is paved with good intentions, so rarely has it proved positive when a parent naggs (under the guise of good intentions) to preach to a family member on weight matters. More support in positive suggestions can be the element required if indeed the person desires to lose weight. I applaud you for gaining the education, being a responsible adult and setting goals. May you continue to be a positive example
Angel1111 Posted October 10, 2010 Posted October 10, 2010 ...but now I'm going to move out and never speak to them again if they keep this up. If anything at all happens to me it's all a big traumatic event related to my weight. :mad: :mad: The option above may be too extreme. Moving out and limiting your time with them may be the best option until they figure out that they need to shut up about this topic. They're just nagging you and putting you down and that's totally unacceptable and unnecessary. You're an adult so they need to just back off.
DaisyLeigh Posted October 10, 2010 Posted October 10, 2010 There is no valid reason, barring some illness or unforeseen circumstance, that a person should be living with parents at 30. Get a place of your own. I would live in a broom closet before I would live with, or do anything for, people who cut me down all of the time. You can do it.
Clep Posted October 12, 2010 Posted October 12, 2010 I have read this whole thread before answering. I am hearing excuses from you and some others cosigning that bs. The idea of how you would have lost it already if they hadn't been on your back is a way to shift the blame to your parents about your weight. I also hear about what you think are valid reasons not to exercise or eat right. I hear a great deal of justification for being overweight. I don't think though that your parents should be treating you like a child even when have placed yourself in those shoes. Living with your parents to save money at 30 is ridiculous. What your parents need to do is kick you out, shut their mouths and let you grow up. Kind of ridiculous of them to be providing you the food and a place to lay around in and complain you are overweight. There is no one to blame but you for your weight, and there is no one to blame for their controlling, enabling behavior but them.
BlackLovely Posted October 12, 2010 Posted October 12, 2010 What if I don't want to do anything related to losing weight because I am so tired of their constant badgering and attempts at manipulation????? If they would leave me alone I probably WOULD do this on my own but I am constantly smothered and toxically unable to live because of this bull s***. They are the classic example of toxic parents and they won't leave me alone. :mad: :mad: They are EXTREMELY NEGATIVE towards anything about me despite the fact that I have gone well above and beyond anything I have ever done over the past several years - I've completed college and completely got myself out of debt. But does that matter? NO!!!! My stepdad is constantly up my ass about it day in and day out, and my mom is no better. I had a bad injury yesterday related to me twisting my leg wrong (totally unrelated to my weight) when the first time they see me they start in on me about my weight and how this is the beginning of the end and the decline where my body starts to fall apart. God I'm so tired of this. At first I was just planning to move out but now I'm going to move out and never speak to them again if they keep this up. If anything at all happens to me it's all a big traumatic event related to my weight. :mad: :mad: EDIT: BTW, I'm not that terribly overweight - only about 40 lbs. over where I should be. I have a mother that loves to put me down every chance she gets. My weight is yet another complaint she has about me, even though she is larger than I am. She would say things like "I never thought I would live to see you get this fat!" She expected me to be a tiny size 2 for the rest of my life, like I was when I was 17. I am only a size 10/12 eleven years later, so I guess I weigh TON!:laugh: Interestingly, she is the only person that says I'm fat. My husband adores my curves. Anyhoo, I haven't had a proper conversation with my mother in almost a year. When parents are toxic and controlling, the best thing to do is cut them off. Nobody needs constant negativity directed at them.
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