Thebob Posted September 29, 2010 Posted September 29, 2010 So I been dating this girl for about 3.5 months, and it started off great until she told me her past. When we were first dating she would bring me out and I didn't know that sometimes at some parties she had slept with 3 of the guys that she is still friends, but no more attachment with. She didn't invite them, but they were friends with people she was friends with. Once I found out we started getting in fights about it because I didn't think it was respectable to me. She was honest with me about it, but she wanted me to deal with it. So in the past 4 weeks we have gotten in to 4 big fights about this stuff, she would always bring up if I would break up with her over it and what not. Then last week was the last straw when she was talking to this guy for over and hour who she had been with in the past. I got really pissed off and told her that is absolutely ridiculous and I don't like it. I made my point clear and I couldn't have been more pissed off because I kept trying to deal with it. She told me that they were talking about me, and the guys new girlfriend and just catching up. Anyways we didn't talk the following day, then finally she texted me about how I didn't care and what not and broke up with her over the phone cause I was sick of it and I felt that I deserved a lot better. So yesterday I get a text to go meet in person and she just started to break down crying. She told me that she knew that she was being selfish and didn't do anything to change the way she acted because she thought that I could deal with her being friends with her exes. She wanted me to give her another chance and I declined because knowing that she slept with them, one of them she had a threesome with, It just brought her down a lot in my book and I was literally sick of it. She was begging crying for 2-3 hours how she will change, delete the numbers out of her phone, and will do whatever it takes for me to get back with her. She just wants one more chance to prove herself to me that she is done with the past. I told her that I want to think about it, and that I don't want her to change her life for me since we have only been going out for a couple months. She told me to think about it even though she didn't like it and left it at that. I have never seen a girl cry this much in my life, but she did. Then this morning I get a text saying that it might be best if we keep some space for a couple days and that I don't have to give her an answer today. So I feel that I am doing the right thing because I feel that I cant do that, but she was convinced that she could change and that everything would be different. She is convinced that were perfect for each other and that we both like each other a lot even though she likes me a lot more. I am kinda confused on what to do and thought I would post on here. Would like any advice that you all could give me. I feel that I laid the law down rightfully and that is was unfair of her to do that to me. So I don't think I should date a girl like that, but if she broke down emotionally as hard as she did after not talking to her for two days then I feel that she absolutely means that she wants to change. What do you all think? She has been in bad relationships in the past, but she thinks that were good for each other and that we get a long great except for these instances. I feel that I can do a lot better, but I still care for this girl, but knowing her past is just killing my image of her and I don't like it. Thebob
lebbis Posted September 29, 2010 Posted September 29, 2010 If this is the only thing wrong with your relationship with her - that she kept communication with guys she's been with in the past - this can be easily resolved. Either she keeps talking to them or doesn't. Unless there are other areas that need to be 'changed'.
Author Thebob Posted September 29, 2010 Author Posted September 29, 2010 It is pretty much that, in which she said she would, but like I said I don't want her changing her beliefs about sex and friends with exes for me when we been only going out for a short amount of time. She is a cool girl, and can be a sweetheart, but this has been building up in me for too long and I just lost it and ended it with her. I told her it will be better if were both happy and can stay friends. She wanted me to give her a reason to hate me so she can get over me quicker, but I couldn't do it because then it would be a lie. I feel like this girl is emotionally unstable. And she doesn't want to break up with me without hating me which is really difficult for her because she likes me a ton. So I really am confused, but I feel that my decision is the correct one even if I regret it in the future. Thebob
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