Beware of breaks and space/time

[dng]

Well, a bit of fair warning to y'all.

 

I posted a couple of times about my 7 years relationship coming to a break. That was three months ago.

 

She never broke contact with me, even when I went NC weeks at a time.

 

She would call and call and call and tell me she loved me, that I was the man of her life, that she wanted to see me but would never show up at first.

 

Then in the past month she started showing up once every 2 weeks. She would always call me on a saturday or sunday to tell me she loved me and wanted to get back together and that she would come spend the week with me at our old place, which I still live in.

 

She would usually show up on a wednesday and end up leaving the next day, all confused. She never made love to me, always with the same reasons: she didnt want that to confuse her, she would only have sex with a boyfriend, etc...

 

Alot of you told me there was probably another guy in the mix, but I would believe that because I asked her many times and it was always a NO, that she couldnt do that, her emotions were turned off, she couldnt have intimacy with anyone right now...

 

Turns out she's been seeing a guy right off the bat, went on weekends with him and she told me she was sleeping with him regularly.

 

So that finally gave me the boost I needed to tell her to leave me alone, dont call me, dont text me, forget I ever existed...

 

She had the balls after that to text me that I havent changed and if I loved her I wouldnt take it like that...

 

So guys seriously. Whatever you think of your ex, if she's asking for a break and you cant figure out why - get real, quick smart.

[dng]

Oh and I want to add that this past sunday, she called me and asked me to start looking for a new place for us, and she would come during the week to visit with me.

 

All along, she kept me around while she was seeing this other loser.

 

She denies this of course and tells me he has nothing to do with me, and so on.

 

She even told me she really liked him at first and thought she was in love with me.

 

This is someone who always had her head screwed in properly.

[jerbear]

Something I've learned in real life and on LS. When a woman says she wants a break, it means "The End"

[USMCHokie]

Something I've learned in real life and on LS. When a woman says she wants a break, it means "The End"

 

Yep, the instant a girl says she wants time/space or a break, that is an INSTA-LAUNCH. I don't need any explanation and there are no second chances.

[dng]

No opinions?

 

For 3 months there all I was thinking about was getting her back. The last time I saw her (last wednesday) she told me I was the love of her life and she would come back really really soon.

 

The fact she's been seeing someone from the moment she left really hit me like a ton of bricks.

 

Last night I was really angry, today I'm just hurting. At least it gave me the courage to finally stand up to her.

 

Just tell me what you think, forum.

[PegNosePete]

The last 2 posters told you what they think, and I agree with them. Mine told me she wanted time/space apart, turned out she was boinking someone else. It's over, and was over since she asked for the break (or probably before). Move on.

[TaraMaiden]

dng, she's been playing you for a back-burner, fall-back, second-option guy.

She wanted a break?

Add the word 'up' and you have your answer.

 

Take it from the three previous gentlemen posters. Therein speaks the voice of learning and experience.

your 7-year relationship never came to a break.

It came to an END.

 

Move on.

Nothing more for you here.

[BigProc]

I firmly believe (some may say i'm just being bitter and twisted) when i girl breaks up with you, but continues to still see you, tell you she loves you, sleeps with you etc it only means 1 thing. She is also seeing someone else and is keeping you on the hook in case it all goes wrong. My ex did the same, still saying she wants me but she's scared etc. I was wondering if she still wants me why doesn't she get back with me? Its because i was just the fall guy. I see so many threads on here which says she still loves me but needs space blah blah blah. I bet 95% of them situations there is a 3rd party involved somewhere down the line.

[dng]

I'm relieved in a way because now she's someone else's problem, and I don't have to wait anymore.

 

I'm surprised that she finally told me. I was very sure that is what was going on but she wouldnt admit to it.

 

I'm of course offended she would easily sleep with someone else while she refused any contacts with me for the past few months.

 

I recall all my loneliness over the summer, and how I was adament about staying available for her while she worked out her issues.

 

I remember wandering around aimlessly, crying a few times, wondering why she wasnt calling me when she said she would.

 

When she left she told me she would spent half her time at our place and half her time in new place.

 

I can't even name the emotion I'm feeling when I think she was a 100% available to some other dude while she kept feeding me hope but was 1% available to me.

[Confused9]

I went through a breakup after 7 years as well. Gosh, it's so hard and I feel for you, but I am glad you finally found out the truth so you can move on and get away from her for good. Seriously remain NC. Do not answer anything from her for any reason!!!

[dng]

Keep it coming people, this is exactly what I need to hear.

 

She just texted me "Did you calm down? We should discuss this".

[dng]

I want to add that yesterday when she told me, we discussed it for a few minutes. In the back of my head I was thinking ask everything you want to know, because there wont be another time.

 

I then told her to forget I even exist, forget my phone number, forget my email address.

 

She kept on texting me and I texted her one last time that the whole situation was a farce, and to leave me alone for good.

 

That was last night.

 

She's at it again. Really, no respect whatsoever for me.

[durkadurka]

Keep it coming people, this is exactly what I need to hear.

 

She just texted me "Did you calm down? We should discuss this".

 

Here's what my thought was when this happened to me.

 

The time for talking was before you decided to start seeing someone else. End of story.

 

There's nothing left to talk about.

 

My ex told me she was starting to see someone and that I could have talked to her about it. Well lady, you really should have said that a few days ago. Want to be my friend now? Hm. Well that's just too bad.

[USMCHokie]

She's at it again. Really, no respect whatsoever for me.

 

No, the bigger issue here is that you have no respect for yourself. You're not doing anything to sever this connection you have with her. You're expecting her to do all the work, but I bet your heart jumps just a little bit every time she contacts you. You let her because deep down you still want it.

 

Block her number, ignore her texts, and don't respond. Be proactive.

[seibert253]

Block her number, ignore her texts, and don't respond. Be proactive.

 

^^^^^^

This

 

As far as you're concerned, space aliens abducted her and she no longer resides on this planet.

[dng]

Well, I didnt ignore her for more than one week before. I really wanted her back and that's what she kept on feeding me, just a little more time, she was almost over thinking it over...

 

All the while she was deciding whether to date this guy or not I suppose, or whatever else.

 

Now that I know all of this, I cannot go back.

 

I am ignoring her, but yes I still get feelings when she calls even if I hate myself for it, but I'm so angry at what she did that I'm not going to answer.

 

Anyway I think at this point - the fact that she told me so readily - she just feels guilty and would like to hear that's oh its ok, you were right to do this...