teejsd2008 Posted September 28, 2010 Posted September 28, 2010 I (27 yrs male - Indian/American) and started dating a Korean (30 yrs / female) back in March. She was studying abroad from Seoul at an English language academy here in Southern California and we had met earlier in January through a language exchange website (I was learning Korean). I admit my true intention was not to learn Korean, but to fond someone to date. I am attracted to Korean girl, so I was on a mission because I was lonely. Over the 2 months that we were hanging out, I grew strong feelings for her and asked her out. She had a bf back in Korea, but their relationship was dwindling so she decided to go out with me. She was too scared to break up with her then bf because he'd be devastated, so she didn't tell him about me. She ended up breaking up with him 2 months into our relationship (I know it's messed up). We were having a great relationship and loved each other greatly, she even moved in with me for 2 months, but went back to Korea at the end of July, so we were together for about 7 months. We tried to keep it going long distance (I'm in Southern California) through phone, instant messaging, texting, and skype and I started applying for jobs out there. I had lived there before for a study abroad program and felt that I could live there. I wanted to be with her. I wanted to marry her, but she started having doubts. She never told her parents about me who shes lives with and she couldn't stand the social stigma of being seen with a foreign boyfriend/husband. She said it was impossible for us to be together even though she loves me. I asked her what if I moved there, got a good job, etc... She said she couldn't handle dating me in public if people stare and hurting her parents expectations for her. She also said she does not want to move to the US, so she broke up with me. It hurts, I'm confused, I'm trying to stay strong, accept reality, not develop false hope and not do anything stupid. I keep telling myself to understand that it was love but the circumstances just didn't work. I'm just having a tough time (granted it's only been 2 days). I'm going into NC but hope I can withstand the temptations to break NC. Hope is a double edged sword. It's the one human emotion that drives us to survive, but if it's the wrong kind of hope it can keep you from recovering. The best hope is to feel better and find a better relationship.
USMCHokie Posted September 29, 2010 Posted September 29, 2010 Over the 2 months that we were hanging out, I grew strong feelings for her and asked her out. She had a bf back in Korea, but their relationship was dwindling so she decided to go out with me. She was too scared to break up with her then bf because he'd be devastated, so she didn't tell him about me. She ended up breaking up with him 2 months into our relationship (I know it's messed up). We were having a great relationship and loved each other greatly, she even moved in with me for 2 months, but went back to Korea at the end of July, so we were together for about 7 months. We tried to keep it going long distance (I'm in Southern California) through phone, instant messaging, texting, and skype and I started applying for jobs out there. I had lived there before for a study abroad program and felt that I could live there. Now wouldn't it be ironic if she found some new guy back in Korea and used these excuses to make her feel less bad about breaking up with you two months into their relationship...?
bestrong Posted September 29, 2010 Posted September 29, 2010 I feel your pain. Our stories are similar except I was the one who had to go back to my home country and she is from California. She broke up with me saying her feelings for me couldn't go further. It sucks, but when I think about it now, I guess there is nothing much we could do and breaking up is probably the only way out. My family is over here and her's over there. I can't work in the US cause the economy is bad and companies don't want to go through all the legal crap to hire a non-citizen; She can't come to my place cause her grandparents left this place hoping for a better living many years ago. We have 13 hours time difference and when I woke up, she had to sleep and vice versa. My advice for you is start NC and don't break it, it doesn't worth talking to her when she doesn't want to give each other a chance even it's tough to maintain the relationship. Do try to stay up just to talk to her, you will end up living in the Asian time zone when you are in the American time zone. Stay tough
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