flow15 Posted September 28, 2010 Posted September 28, 2010 My ex broke up with me 26th August, so its been about a month. We stopped contact about 2 and a half weeks ago... At first I was distraught, crying nearly every day. Then I felt angry and hated him and was glad he was gone, and I wasn't getting upset at all. I didn't want him back! But now I miss him SO much.... I feel like I've gone back, this isn't getting any easier!!! I'm not sleeping at night, last night I was still awake at 5am... During the day I am so tired because I'm not sleeping, I find it so hard to act happy around people.. I feel absolutely horrible... I'm doing everything in my power to not text him or call him. I'm dying to hear his voice, all I want to do is talk to him and tell him how much I miss him and love him.. all I want is for him to call me or text me and tell me he made a mistake and misses me.... or even if he didn't make a mistake, to at least show he cares a little bit. I want him to miss me as much as I miss him. I want him to ask me to go see him, and just work it out. 2 weeks ago I accepted the break up, now I'm finding it hard to, I keep thinking of all the mistakes we made and that if we just talked we can fix them. Sorry I know I am just venting here, but I wish there was a way I could contact him and ask for another chance without appearing desperate, without having to chase after him. I keep picturing him with another girl, falling for another girl, and saying and doing all the things he used to do to me. It kills me. I know I'm just torturing myself, but I can't help it. I want him back before he falls for someone else.
jms76 Posted September 28, 2010 Posted September 28, 2010 Flow Sorry to hear that you're having a difficult time coping. My guess is the majority of people on this site have gone through the same motions as your are now. It's normal and it will start to fade. I've been on both sides of the fence and I can say that I'm sure he misses you and does think about you. If it was meant to be he will get in touch with you but that day might not come for quite some time or it will never come. All you can do in the meantime is move forward and not dwell on the past. I know it's hard. I'm going through it with you. But I force myself to see beyond the past and live in the here and now. You must do the same or this will eat you up. Stay NC for your benefit. Not to get him to miss you or because you're angry. Do it for you. Focus on you. Live for you. However your situation turns out, never stop improving the person you are. Your next relationship will be that much better. You should continue to vent on this site, to your friends and family. Everyone goes through this at some point and it just sucks. No way around it!
Leandro Posted September 28, 2010 Posted September 28, 2010 I agree with JMS76. We all have either gone through this or are going through it right now. I feel the same right now, but my ex is already seeing someone else. I wish she would contact me and say that she misses me and all, but I don't think she will say that. She is very immature now. I've been on NC for 3 weeks and it does get better but some days are tough. You can do it!!
jms76 Posted September 28, 2010 Posted September 28, 2010 Thanks Leandro. Yet another reason to go NC. I don't want to know what my ex is doing. If she's dating someone else, misses me, whatever. It will not help me. I can only help myself. The sadness we feel is really created from within, not by the other person. That's why it's important to focus on yourself! Like Leandro said...you can do it!
Author flow15 Posted September 28, 2010 Author Posted September 28, 2010 Thanks for your replies guys.... it's good to know I'm not the only one who feels this way, although I wouldn't wish anyone to be feeling this way! It's horrible. I have no idea if he is seeing someone else, but I kind of guess he is (or is at least sleeping around- he's back at uni now). He won't miss me if he has someone else there.
Billie The Puppet Posted September 28, 2010 Posted September 28, 2010 Ive been no contact for 24 days now, Today It just hit me really hard. No triggers from what I can remember and my coping methods of focusing on the negatives has failed. We broke up July 26th. She is holding strong to not contacting me as well. I know some of the symptoms you are portraying only I got my sleep back awfully fast. I dream of my ex but lately all have been like we are together some would say shouldn't that make you sad and I repeat it's better the reoccurring dreams of the break up. Thing is I am in bliss while asleep but when I wake up I can cope wit those emotions. Being happy around people is still hard and I try my best to put my face on but it also isn't there.
Ajax Posted September 29, 2010 Posted September 29, 2010 I think grieving the relationship will come in waves. Some days will be better than others. Acceptance may come and go too. The past few days were especially rough for me. I'm on day 26 of NC. She hasn't even tried to contact me which makes me think that she doesn't have any feelings for me anymore. I have trouble sleeping too. Sometimes I wake up in the middle of the night and just want her beside me again. Then I wonder if she's really alone and it makes me feel like trowing up. It's tough. But those of us in NC have to ask ourselves what possible good will come from calling or texting them. They left us, and as much as it hurts, if they wanted to talk to us they would. The only thing that can happen if we contact them is that it will annoy them and push them away further, and we will face rejection.
jms76 Posted September 29, 2010 Posted September 29, 2010 First off, stop counting how many days you've gone NC. I couldn't even tell you how long it's been for me. Why? It's in the past. It could be day 1 or day 100. It doesn't matter. I focus on each day and working towards my goals in life. My ex is no longer a part of my life therefore she is not part of my goals. I still miss her but it wasn't meant to be. I'm excited to meet the one who will be for me. Good luck guys.
Billie The Puppet Posted September 29, 2010 Posted September 29, 2010 I think everyone counts the days in the beginning but then it gets to a point where you stop at least I hope so. I am no where near over my ex, I have a date tomorrow but to be honest I don't think I am 100% on dating others either but we will see what tomorrow brings.
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