tc6107 Posted September 28, 2010 Posted September 28, 2010 So I have been in a relationship for 6 years now ... I have a son from a previous and a son with my bf, a baby who passed in 2007. Since then things have gone downhill... I think he has cheated but have no proof...Back in March we were having relationship problems..Alot of fighting on both ends..When we lost our son in 2007 I was 38 weeks pregnant. His daughter was the cause of the baby's death..So that's where a lot of the fighting originates from..But to get onto the subject at hand, I found out through someone and phone records that he had been "talking" to a friend of mine for months...She's married with 3 kids..Her husband is an ass... He told me nothing ever happened they just talked and understood each other.. I know this is NOT considered cheating to some but he told her details about our intimate life..But people tell me they heard he was sleeping with a married woman..This comes from 2 people I know and trust.. I am no longer friends with her and he no longer talks to her..I check both home and cell records .. Then recently I found out that he gave a girl a ride on his motorcycle..The motorcycle I purchased for him..He said he thought it was wrong to do but did it anyways... I was pissed.. This was the one thing I asked him NOT to do with the bike..I feel if he knew it would hurt me he will probably do it again...I am very insecure as I used to be very heavy...I am no longer large but I still feel very insecure..In the past he was receiving letters from a girl saying she loved him and what not...We were only together for 2 months when this happened...Never heard from her after I confronted him...His crazy ex has told me that they slept together while I was watching their daughter..(Don't know if I believe this one).. Now he lies about the dumbest stuff...Little lies..He shows no signs of cheating ... NONE !! He says he loves me and shows me affection .. He's not a sensitive guy though..He doesn't run out and buy a card for our anniversary or my Birthday..No xmas gifts nothing..I can live with this...What I can't live with is random people always coming up to me and telling me things he should have told me...I have been cheated on in past relationships so maybe alot of my insecurities stem from that..I don't know..I've secretly recorded him but have found nothing yet..Now here's the biggie..He gave me an STD when we were together for only 6 months..The Dr says it could have been dormant so he may not have cheated just had it for years and didn't know..I say he gave it to me b/c I have been VERY careful with previous partners...I am obsessive when it comes to protection.. I have a son to live for... So I know it came from him, but I couldn't blame him for not knowing... So he tells me when I asked him if he ever cheated on me ..He says no b/c I wouldn't plus I have an STD so I can't...I know this all sounds innocent (the things he's done) but I have this feeling in the pit of my stomach that won't go away !! I feel I can't trust him !! I just want to have normal relationship w/o all of the thinking about it.. Am I crazy or should I keep recording until I find something ? Thanks for reading, Going crazy in NH
skywriter Posted September 28, 2010 Posted September 28, 2010 Never, ever, ignore your gut instincts and what they are telling you.
debby Posted September 28, 2010 Posted September 28, 2010 I am sorry about the loss of your baby. That must have been terrible. How was his daughter the cause? As far as recording him, if your instincts are telling you something, LISTEN. Recording my ex-husbands computer activity is how I caught him...2 different times! So, record away, I say. The other side of that is this...if you are always going to have this much suspicion in this relationship, then maybe it is better off ended...for both of you. Constantly and endlessly feeling like you have to check behind someone is draining. Not worth it, in the long run.
Author tc6107 Posted September 28, 2010 Author Posted September 28, 2010 Thanks for the advice...I will not record him forever..I will give him a chance to change..Mind you if things don't change within the next month or so.. I AM DONE ! As for the question about my son...His daughter kicked me in the stomach repeatedly which in turn caused the placenta to seperate from the baby...Cause of death was blunt force trauma..
Woman In Blue Posted September 29, 2010 Posted September 29, 2010 Quite honestly, I don't know how you can want to be with a man who fathered the type of monster that could kick you repeatedly - and hard enough - in the stomach to cause a miscarriage. Seriously, this is a gene pool you DON'T want to dip into.
Untouchable_Fire Posted September 29, 2010 Posted September 29, 2010 Thanks for the advice...I will not record him forever..I will give him a chance to change..Mind you if things don't change within the next month or so.. I AM DONE ! As for the question about my son...His daughter kicked me in the stomach repeatedly which in turn caused the placenta to seperate from the baby...Cause of death was blunt force trauma.. What? How old is she? Were you immobilized at the time?
Author tc6107 Posted October 9, 2010 Author Posted October 9, 2010 She was 9 and she had kicked me before but I chalked it up to be sibling jealousy...But then it got worse and her dad had to work..He couldn't stay home and let her get her way....And I was big and pregnant so it wasn't like I could pick her up and move her to her room ... The last time she kicked me I was in the middle of helping her with her school supplies and I didn't pack it how she wanted it ..so she kicked me ! It WAS hard enough to show fresh scar tissue on my placenta... I didn't want that to be the cause but it was..When her father finally snapped out of "denial mode " we took her to get evaluated but her family lied to the therapist and they let her go home w/o a full evaluation...She now lives with her mother...
Untouchable_Fire Posted October 9, 2010 Posted October 9, 2010 She was 9 and she had kicked me before but I chalked it up to be sibling jealousy...But then it got worse and her dad had to work..He couldn't stay home and let her get her way....And I was big and pregnant so it wasn't like I could pick her up and move her to her room ... The last time she kicked me I was in the middle of helping her with her school supplies and I didn't pack it how she wanted it ..so she kicked me ! It WAS hard enough to show fresh scar tissue on my placenta... I didn't want that to be the cause but it was..When her father finally snapped out of "denial mode " we took her to get evaluated but her family lied to the therapist and they let her go home w/o a full evaluation...She now lives with her mother... Holy crap that's horrible! I feel so bad for you. If I were him I'm not sure I could handle being responsible for that.
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