Billie The Puppet Posted September 28, 2010 Posted September 28, 2010 Facebook really is evil when it comes to relationships now isn't it? My ex hid her wall from myself and my family and that's actually perfectly fine with me as it aids in the what I don't know can't hurt me part. I know as NC I shouldn't be checking her Facebook etc but I admit I have every once in awhile. She even hid her relationship status but she did so when I asked her to when we got back together after a "break" again this is good because what I don't know can't hurt me. So Basically all I have access to is some minor information and photo's, friends/mutual friends. I've notice post break up my ex was on the computer a lot (as am I) but since NC was put into effect 24 days ago she hasn't been online when I have been otherwise I may have been blocked or she appears offline to me. Which again is perfect for NC as I can't be tempted to break it. What is giving me false hope but I keep telling myself It's not what I want it to be is my ex has photo's of us still in her profile pictures album albeit not current profile picture. Yea that could be chalked up to laziness but she has added photo's recently she could spare the time to delete the ones of us together could she not? I immediately untagged myself from photos of us together and cleared my profile pictures of her it just doesn't seem right to me. The other part is she has friended a lot of my family and again hasn't bothered to unfriend them. I mean cousins, uncles, parents, sisters. etc. Again it can be chalked up to laziness I suppose. However 24 days ago when we last talked I asked her about this and to get rid of them. She said I've had enough of this **** and hasn't talked to me since nor have I her. So I never got to ignore any of her attempts of contact as that was the day I decided that LC was not for me.
liannemr Posted September 28, 2010 Posted September 28, 2010 fb is evil. i have logged in the ex's account just to see if he keeps my chat tab open (he does)...although we're both done and nc is in effect. i have no idea why he is keeping my chat tab open... ive deleted pictures of him out of my fb, removed his family and friends from my friends list and even had a few of my closest friends remove him so we don't cross paths. i guess im gonna just stay off fb for awhile Facebook really is evil when it comes to relationships now isn't it? My ex hid her wall from myself and my family and that's actually perfectly fine with me as it aids in the what I don't know can't hurt me part. I know as NC I shouldn't be checking her Facebook etc but I admit I have every once in awhile. She even hid her relationship status but she did so when I asked her to when we got back together after a "break" again this is good because what I don't know can't hurt me. So Basically all I have access to is some minor information and photo's, friends/mutual friends. I've notice post break up my ex was on the computer a lot (as am I) but since NC was put into effect 24 days ago she hasn't been online when I have been otherwise I may have been blocked or she appears offline to me. Which again is perfect for NC as I can't be tempted to break it. What is giving me false hope but I keep telling myself It's not what I want it to be is my ex has photo's of us still in her profile pictures album albeit not current profile picture. Yea that could be chalked up to laziness but she has added photo's recently she could spare the time to delete the ones of us together could she not? I immediately untagged myself from photos of us together and cleared my profile pictures of her it just doesn't seem right to me. The other part is she has friended a lot of my family and again hasn't bothered to unfriend them. I mean cousins, uncles, parents, sisters. etc. Again it can be chalked up to laziness I suppose. However 24 days ago when we last talked I asked her about this and to get rid of them. She said I've had enough of this **** and hasn't talked to me since nor have I her. So I never got to ignore any of her attempts of contact as that was the day I decided that LC was not for me.
PegNosePete Posted September 28, 2010 Posted September 28, 2010 What is giving me false hope but I keep telling myself It's not what I want it to be is my ex has photo's of us still in her profile pictures album My STBXW still has her wedding photo on her profile picture. You're right, it is false hope. It means nothing except she is too lazy to spring clean. Guns don't kill people (rappers do). Facebook is not evil. It's just what it is. People use it for whatever purpose they like, and if it is harmful to your recovery then get off it.
Author Billie The Puppet Posted September 28, 2010 Author Posted September 28, 2010 What is really evil about FB now is the new privacy settings I mean sure they are good for privacy but they now also can aid those "cheaters" out there in the world. For example: Guy A is In a Relationship but choses not to say with who - He is dating Girl A and Girl B at the same time He can now have himself post pictures in his albums etc but make it so Girl B can not see Girl A and Girl A can not see Girl B' photos. He can even hide his friends list from both girls. He can hide all his posts etc.
Author Billie The Puppet Posted September 28, 2010 Author Posted September 28, 2010 It isn't so harmful in my recovery I am pretty well at 100 % it's over. I recognize false hope for what it is false. It's just the fact that I confronted and asked her to remove those things especially if she moves on as I'm not to sure her new interest would like that either. It's now a power thing I suppose but if I don't let her know it bothers me she wont know she has this little power over me.
PegNosePete Posted September 28, 2010 Posted September 28, 2010 Of course if your hypothetical cheater didn't use facebook then he could date girl A, B, C, D and E at the same time without worrying about being tagged in photos or relationship statuses... so, not using facebook is more evil than using it?
Username37 Posted September 28, 2010 Posted September 28, 2010 I have my ex on FB too and she blocked me from her wall plus all my family members. So its like were friends, but I can't be apart of her life. It's crazy. Mutual friends tell me the stuff that she posts and it's not good. She has a few pictures of me and she even kept some of the photo comments I made when we were together. I haven't been on in a month and I'm sure they're gone now due to the new guy being in the picture.
Author Billie The Puppet Posted September 28, 2010 Author Posted September 28, 2010 Of course if your hypothetical cheater didn't use facebook then he could date girl A, B, C, D and E at the same time without worrying about being tagged in photos or relationship statuses... so, not using facebook is more evil than using it? That is so true but we are also now in a communicating era that polls seem to place twitter and fb above phone calls. You are 100% right. Weird thing is I can post to my ex's wall via iPhone but can't see it.
ohno89 Posted September 28, 2010 Posted September 28, 2010 I was the dumpee in my R but I think i can safely say, even if I was the dumper - I still wouldn't bother removing pictures, comments etc from my ex. More effort than it's worth and altho he did me very wrong, what's happened has happened and it did at the time so why bother trying to delete a few comments? It's not gonna change anything except maybe hurt less if they actually serve as a painful reminder to you. My beef with FB was posted about last night; the girl my ex cheated on me with as is now in a R with, kindly appeared on my handy little 'People you may know' and I saw a picture I reeeeeally did not need to see! Cheers FB.
Author Billie The Puppet Posted September 28, 2010 Author Posted September 28, 2010 I was the dumpee in my R but I think i can safely say, even if I was the dumper - I still wouldn't bother removing pictures, comments etc from my ex. More effort than it's worth and altho he did me very wrong, what's happened has happened and it did at the time so why bother trying to delete a few comments? It's not gonna change anything except maybe hurt less if they actually serve as a painful reminder to you. My beef with FB was posted about last night; the girl my ex cheated on me with as is now in a R with, kindly appeared on my handy little 'People you may know' and I saw a picture I reeeeeally did not need to see! Cheers FB. That just it suggested photos come up with my ex and I because she is on my friends list and she hasn't untagged her self. I took back the promise ring I gave to my ex because she couldn't hold onto her end of that promise, I wear it around my neck along with a dragon that symbolizes my mothers lost love because it reminds myself that if my mother can cope from a death of a bf I surely can get over a break up.
ohno89 Posted September 28, 2010 Posted September 28, 2010 That just it suggested photos come up with my ex and I because she is on my friends list and she hasn't untagged her self. I took back the promise ring I gave to my ex because she couldn't hold onto her end of that promise, I wear it around my neck along with a dragon that symbolizes my mothers lost love because it reminds myself that if my mother can cope from a death of a bf I surely can get over a break up. That's sweet....good way to look at things. Hopefully in time when you're ready, you can take her promise ring off as something that happened that was special to you but you can put it behind you. I personally still wear a bracelet my ex gave me and although I hate the guy....I kinda still like the bracelet! /maybe I'm holding onto it but...whatever, it'll come off in time.. And yes, I do hate all these stupid new 'People you may know' and 'Photo memories' that FB insists on having, it's ridiculous....they need to start taking relationships and ex's into consideration! I can honestly say that FB contributed to my break-up in some negative way; you can get to know someone without even spending time with them, message them instead of having to be shady (or shadier) and just getting their numbers and texting and talking...it's awful.
Author Billie The Puppet Posted September 28, 2010 Author Posted September 28, 2010 My ex and I didn't break up on bad terms per say, she just needs to be single but I take it badly because it has been a emotional rollercoater. Break - back together - discuss engagement and went window shopping for rings, she knew how serious I was into it. Then break up, lc for the first month, it was too painful for me so I let her know it's best we don't talk. She seem to have understood. However when asking that she remove those things she got angry and haven't spoken since. No contact has been mutual as neither of us have contacted each other. As for the ring it will come off when I enter a new relationship but it will never be regifted. Thing is my ex broke with me over phone, there where times I wanted to break with her and I did it in person to which we discussed and reconciled on the spot but truth to those times I didn't really want to break up with her. During LC before I found LS she was saying everything I wanted to hear except let's get back together. As for your bracelet I can understand you like it, I wasn't going to take everything I ever bought my ex. I only took the promise ring because of what it stood for. I noticed she still where's the key to my heart necklace I gave her as it's in one of the recent photos added to facebook. As much as I want that to be a sign I know it is not. 24 days ago despite being a member here I was to over confidant with myself and acted on signs that were based on msn statuses, hearsay and her anger. This was our last blow out / talk. I'm kicking myself over it but what's done is done.
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