Forest72 Posted September 28, 2010 Posted September 28, 2010 (edited) Hey all, So my relationship is over, I know this. Having trouble accepting it, but I know this. Wondered if anyone had any particular insight for me? I dated a girl for a couple months this summer. She was perfect. Met her at a friends birthday party. She kind of picked me up, it was a great compliment. Spent the night talking, but I don't do one night stands. I don't know, maybe that was what she was looking for... So we dated, traveled, things were marvelous. She gets run down during the week, doesn't sleep, spends more of her week nights alone - but was always up for company on the weekends, stayed in touch during the week, and was generally warm. First hiccup was actually after she told me she loved me. I thought about it and returned my love later in the evening. Really didn't hear from her for the rest of the week, thought things were over, but the following weekend she apologized, said it was her problem and she she had worked through it. Honestly, things were wonderful and stayed that way until I met her family. We took a trip, met her family, she let her family know she was spending Christmas with my family. She said she loved me in front of friends. This was a four day trip, by day three we'd been drinking with her friends and family, hiking in the mountains, both of us were tired and crabby. I really thought this was a good trip, was just a matter of being tired. I dropped her off at her house, she hugged me goodbye, and didn't speak to me again for weeks. Granted, my parents were coming, after a week of no contact I was going crazy and broke it off with her - by email. Which may be a DB thing to do, but she doesn't answer her phone (ever), knows I'm making reservations for all of us, and I really don't know what she expected. A week later I still can't get her out of my head, and write her, letting her know I'm having a hard time and wondering if she can't give me some closure. She writes back several days later, tells me I was rude to her in front of her friends (which was my first inclination of this), that I treat her like she's 6 (another first inclination), and that she's not going into details because it can't be fixed. I don't know, I really think her explanation is waffling. I think I liked her more than she liked me, despite her statements and encouragement. I think after I broke up with her she went on a binge, and did some things she didn't want to own up to. And frankly, she's 40, has never had a particularly serious relationship, and I think I scared the living hell out of her. Any thoughts? Thank you Edited September 28, 2010 by Forest72
johan Posted September 28, 2010 Posted September 28, 2010 Well, if she changes her mind, it's not going to be any easier. I doubt this kind of roller-coaster ride is what you had in mind when you thought about your perfect relationship. But getting her back will just result in more of the same. As far as getting closure and some kind of explanation, I'd say forget it. You already know what she's capable of, and it's doubtful she has a clear enough outlook on anything to provide any kind of satisfaction. Not to mention, if you happen to try to make things better or explain them, she'll just jerk you around more. She's doing you a favor.
Don Ho Posted September 28, 2010 Posted September 28, 2010 I have to agree with Johan. I was going to say it was probably a case of too much too soon. She probably scared herself by telling you that she loved you. In the end it doesn't matter, she will act the same way and you will just be on an emotional roller coaster. Time to get off the ride and stay off. I know it WAS great and you really care for her, but you have to take it for what it was and what it will be: a few months of summer fun. You can reminisce, but you have to move on.
Author Forest72 Posted September 28, 2010 Author Posted September 28, 2010 Well, if she changes her mind, it's not going to be any easier. I doubt this kind of roller-coaster ride is what you had in mind when you thought about your perfect relationship. But getting her back will just result in more of the same. As far as getting closure and some kind of explanation, I'd say forget it. You already know what she's capable of, and it's doubtful she has a clear enough outlook on anything to provide any kind of satisfaction. Not to mention, if you happen to try to make things better or explain them, she'll just jerk you around more. She's doing you a favor. So, any thoughts on the chances of trying to salvage a friendship? Her birthday's in a couple weeks, would I be a pathetic stalker sending her a card?
Author Forest72 Posted September 28, 2010 Author Posted September 28, 2010 Well, if she changes her mind, it's not going to be any easier. I doubt this kind of roller-coaster ride is what you had in mind when you thought about your perfect relationship. But getting her back will just result in more of the same. As far as getting closure and some kind of explanation, I'd say forget it. You already know what she's capable of, and it's doubtful she has a clear enough outlook on anything to provide any kind of satisfaction. Not to mention, if you happen to try to make things better or explain them, she'll just jerk you around more. She's doing you a favor. Any thoughts on the chances of salvaging a friendship? Her birthday's in a couple weeks, would I be a pathetic stalker sending her a card?
skydiveaddict Posted September 28, 2010 Posted September 28, 2010 Any thoughts on the chances of salvaging a friendship? Her birthday's in a couple weeks, would I be a pathetic stalker sending her a card? Do NOT send her a card. Or anything else. Do you enjoy beating yourself up? Be done with her. Cause she is done with you. Go live your life, let go of false hopes.
johan Posted September 28, 2010 Posted September 28, 2010 So, any thoughts on the chances of trying to salvage a friendship? Her birthday's in a couple weeks, would I be a pathetic stalker sending her a card? There is no friendship to salvage. You and she were friendly at one point, but it wasn't a friendship. She'll be a waste of effort for you across the board.
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