jimbo Posted September 27, 2010 Posted September 27, 2010 I started dating this woman back in February. It was going great for a few months. Then in June, things started heading south. She has some medical issues that were flaring up, going through finalization of a divorce (divorce # 2), raising a teenage daughter and also filed bankruptcy. This was not the reason why I broke up with her. I was fine with it all. She started to change, not sure if it was the new meds she was on or what, but became very distant and cold. Brought this up several times, and even asked do you still want me in your life. She always said, I do not know. Life is very busy right now and I do not know if I can be here for you emotionally. Then, one Saturday, she said to me, where do you think this was going. I am not looking for anything serious right now. This is a complete 180 from when we started. She said I was one of the best things in her life. Four months later, now she's looking for nothing serious. Then she said, I am not looking to marry you, move in together or anything else. This is my life for the next few years until my (her) daughter goes off college. Next day, we had a wedding to go to. Came to pick her up, no kiss or hug, just opened the door for me to let me in to her home. When we were dancing, she did not face me, she was basically dancing with her father and mother, and I looked like the third wheel. That night I broke it off. Saying you are not treating me fair and very cold to me. She said things just moved way too fast.. The other day I was on Facebook and was thinking about her. I was just going to ask to be Facebook friends. I e mailed her and she asked why? I said I thought it would be nice to catch up. She said you lied to me and I feel like a fool when I went out with you. You were a mistake. I said what do you mean? You lied about your family and where you worked. I checked. I have friends. You would be amazed what information you can find if you look hard enough. I was dumbfounded. I have no idea what she is talking about. I said you are mistaken. I NEVER lied to you. I NEVER said anything bad about you. Please, lets talk about this. She said no, I have moved on. You should too. I said that was great. I am not looking to get back to you, I just want to understand what you are talking about. She would not tell me. This went back and forth over IM for over an hour. I said fine. Be that way. Just know you are mistaken. She said I do not think so. I tried calling, she would not pickup the phone. I said I will not bother you anymore. She said OK. Over the past two days I've been thinking about it and, yes, I actually miss her. Hasn't popped into my head until I requested the Facebook friend thing. I mean, if she Im'd with me for over an hour, that must mean something. No? If she truly hated me and did not want to talk to me, then she would had just not responded. What do I do? Anything or am I screwed?
GorillaTheater Posted September 27, 2010 Posted September 27, 2010 She's moved on. You'd be wise to do the same. Besides, she doesn't sound like that great of a catch. In fact, it doesn't seem like she's wired too tightly together.
stillafool Posted September 27, 2010 Posted September 27, 2010 She's moved on. You'd be wise to do the same. Besides, she doesn't sound like that great of a catch. In fact, it doesn't seem like she's wired too tightly together. I agree OP. It's time to move on.
GorillaTheater Posted September 27, 2010 Posted September 27, 2010 Easier than it sounds. Sure it is. Nothing about this is easy for the people caught in the middle of it. Not having any emotional attachment to the situation, it's easy for me to give advice. But that doesn't mean I'm wrong. I'm going on the following: 1) You made the right decision when you broke up with her. She WAS displaying some crap behavior. 2) She doesn't want to get back with you. If she's like most women, that's her final word on the matter. 3) She's embraced some weird lie about your background. God knows what that's about, but it doesn't speak well for her. 4) Thinking about her and wishing things were different is hurting you. So stop hitting your thumb with that hammer. Intellectually you know I'm right. So give your heart a chance to catch up. It will. And sooner rather than later if you stick with "No Contact" (NC).
Author jimbo Posted September 27, 2010 Author Posted September 27, 2010 Certainly trying. Honestly have no idea where these emotions came from. The negativity of this lie is from her mother. She never liked me very much.
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