Treated badly because I'm married?

[Amelia Wilson-Adams]

Hello I am new here.

 

I have the next two days off from school due to teacher workshops so I was googling for a chat site about marriage.

I am 17 years old and I'm a junior in high school.

 

I was home-schooled since the end of 7th grade until end of 8th when my father who was in the military (only guardian) passed away and my older sister who is 24 became my and my little brother's legal guardian. We moved in with her and her fiance. It was tough, and i found home schooling to be easier for a while, till I got back into it. It was a small town, only one public middle/high school. Everyone knew everyone. When i turned 16 i got married. He's 21, and two weeks after my 16th birthday my sister signed off on it. We actually had a real wedding at the church and everything. We had 50 something guests at the reception i believe. Again, small town so you invite one person you invite them all lol.

 

But this past summer my husband got transferred from work since they were laying people off and he begged for his job. The only way was to move out of state 4 hours away by plane.

 

So we moved from our loved little town in July and have been here in the city since. And man is it different haha. I decided I still wanted to continue high school. I started September 16th and its been difficult...not curriculum wise but social wise i guess. I mean, i had friends back home, it wasn't just my husband and family...i always had my best friends. There was always a smiling face just down the road. And everyone was fine with my marriage, i had tons of blessings. No one at school acted like this and even 3 of my teachers were at my wedding. But since I started school its been weird...its hard to explain. When i registered the secretary asked for my guardians since i went in by myself and i told her its only my big sister but shes all the way back home so its only me and my husband and she gave me the dirtiest look...and then asked for paperwork.

 

Then two days later the guidance counselor called me in to pick out my classes. And she asked and asked about my family and my husband and my marriage license. I gave her my sister's number and everything but i told her legally, I'm emancipated and have been since 16. She asked if we have a house and i said no just a two room apartment. Then she asked if we have any kids or will be expecting at all this year and i said no were waiting until I'm out of school and have a good job and after we have money saved up. After that I was called down to the nurse and she talked about birth control and how "sex is a normal thing between a married couple" that was just awkward.

 

So after that was over, class was even worse...the teachers were "informed" of my status and asked me to give them contact information for my husband while everyone else did their parents info. One teacher made me stay after class and told me he understands my "situation" like its a problem or something. Besides that, every single darn kid is staring me down and questioning me on my engagement and wedding ring i wear. I feel like all eyes are on my left hand. Its so uncomfortable and its very uncomfortable for my counselor calling me down every 2-3 days asking about life at home.

 

One guy asked "so like you have sex then at home like every night right?" and I told him its none of his damn business. I just hate people bringing up my marriage because they put me in an awkward spot. And the people that are'nt talking about my marriage are ignoring me even if i try to make small talk. There's so many rumors and gossip going around about me.

 

I feel like I shouldn't wear my rings anymore...but i feel naked without them. I never paid much attention to the stuff they're pointing out before. Its so different i just feel lost.

 

I call my sister everyday but shes home with her fiance and our bro and shes so far away.

My husband works 7am-6:30pm during the week so its only me in that apartment most of the time and it gets lonely. There's a bunch of shops in the mall that's 10 minutes away and that's fun but there's no one to go with and i always see people there together.

I'm just confused as to why I'm being ostracized about this. I try to talk to people like a normal friendly person. No one is really clicking with me...i mean i should have found one friend right?

 

I know that school is my main concern but i cant help feeling upset when I'm eating by myself and doing labs by myself for my two science classes. Projects have already been assigned in all my classes and theyre group work.

 

And the whole counselor thing is too much...why is she doing this? I think she already knows i have sex.

Is there someone out there who would like to talk to me?

Edited September 27, 2010 by a LoveShack.org Moderator

[Tony]

This site is for those seeking advice or to vent and you seem to have done both here. However, the exchange of telephone numbers or Email addresses is not permitted in the open forum and you will not have access to Private Messaging until you have been here a while.

 

I am very sure some nice people will stop by and comment on your situation. I understand what you're going through and it's my personal feeling that once the people at the school get used to having you their attention will turn elsewhere and you will be accepted into the school body. I think what's required is just a little patience and passing of time.

 

I also want to tell you that if Amelia Wilson-Adams, the name you chose for your anonymous user name, is your REAL name in life this could be problematic and embarrassing for you later on. From now until the end of the world, people will be able to enter your name in Google or other good search engines and your posts at LoveShack will appear. Please either make a new account with an anonymous name you make up or BE VERY SURE YOU NEVER WRITE ANYTHING IN LOVESHACK THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO WORLD TO READ...IN A WEEK...OR YEARS LATER.

 

Let's see what others have to say. I hope we can help you feel better.

Edited September 27, 2010 by Tony

[BruceLeroy]

So you got married at 16? People are weirded out because that is really young and your like, the only kid at school who doesn't go home to parents and rules. Why did your sister sign off on it? She didn't want to have the responsiblity of being your gardian for two more years?

Maybe you wanted to get married, but I'm not sure why. You still have kids stuff to do like school married or not. Its not even really about freedom because even adults in marriage have things their spouse dont want them to do. Okay, so lets say it was for love. No amount of love required you to get married and you say there is no baby - so why did you get married?

 

Thay kids at school probly don't even know all you shared on here - they can only wonder. I'm reading it and I'm still confused so imagine what it seems to them?

[MichelleZB]

It seems you are enrolled at a real high school, and you are in a different stage of life from the other students. Is it possible you could finish your high school diploma at an adult continuing education centre or community college? They usually have people of all ages and situations trying to get their high school, and you would stick out less.

[Rashad]

I'm really sorry that you get treated the way you do.

People can be really apprehensive towards foreign stuff and probably the idea of a 16 year old married girl is pretty foreign to them. It's just shear ignorance from their part if you ask me. imo you are not the one who needs advise, but rather the people around you including the stupid insensitive counselor, stick around and you will learn that age really isn't the top determining factor, you have 40 something year olds making stupid decisions and getting into abusive relationships and hurting themselves, meanwhile you have not complained about your husband even once in your long writing, don't let people get to you.

I'd love to talk to you but you'll have to stick around.