lightning Posted September 27, 2010 Posted September 27, 2010 Hi, so a quick update. It's 6 weeks since we broke up. The contact from my ex has got more and more frequent as the week have gone on. It's now daily and he initiates it always. He's going through some family stuff and I love the guy so decided after doing NC until I felt strong that being in contact to support him was ok for our situation. I know I run the risk of holding his hands through the breakup/ him meeting someone else etc but I weighed it all up and am ok. Anyway, I'm honest with myself and realise he broke up with me and therefore does not want to me with me right now and I will have to move on however, the last week his been fishing to see me but hasn't made a big play. With what's going on in his life I don't think he has the confident/balls to and that's not good enough for me so I've been plodding along, getting hotter, working extra making heaps of money and sorting myself out in the meantime while being open to moving on.... So, I met a guy on the weekend. From the first minute he was smitten(he was tipsy however), would not leave me alone. I was honest and said not to waste his time hitting on me coz I'm not really emotionally available but the guy said he'd rather hang out with me than the 'types' of girls in the nightclub where we were. Anyway, we talked all night, he tried to kiss me and kept touching me. Some of my ex's mates were there so I was a bit uncomfortable and kept brushing him off. Anywa, I look at my phone and the ex has messaged... so I'm replying to him while new guy is being very sweet and it was all pretty funny. Good for my confidence. I wasn't drinking and went home before midnight and the texting with ex went on for a few hours after that. Nothing was really said but it was very clear there's something still there and I had butterflies. It felt brand new. Anyway, so as ex isn't making any moves and new one asked me out already what do i do? I told new one no already coz im just not ready. Couldnt be physical with anyone else yet and dont want to lead him on or wreck chances in the future by being complicated now... But I don't want to feel like I'm waiting for my ex. I don't need a man so probably should just say no for now and keep on the path i'm going. Wouldn't want to start something and not be into it then ex come crawling back and have this extra complication... Opinions?
durkadurka Posted September 27, 2010 Posted September 27, 2010 (edited) I wouldn't say the new guy is a great choice, but also that you shouldn't wait for your ex either. He seems to have moved on, if he hasn't said I miss you, or I care about you, or given any obvious hints I'd say that you have waited more than long enough. Edited September 27, 2010 by durkadurka
pandagirl Posted September 27, 2010 Posted September 27, 2010 I wouldn't say the new guy is a great choice, but also that you shouldn't wait for your ex either. He seems to have moved on, if he hasn't said I miss you, or I care about you, or given any obvious hints I'd say that you have waited more than long enough. You should date this new guy if you'd like. But if you don't feel ready, then don't, but not on account of your ex -- for yourself. It's nice you're sticking around for your ex as he's going through a hard time, but also remember he's not your responsibility. You've only been broken up 6 weeks. And honestly, if you two are meant to be, it will happen, whether that's in a few months or a few years.
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