Downundernz Posted September 27, 2010 Posted September 27, 2010 Hi guys Got back with my girl about a month ago after a huge argument and breakup which lasted a week of both NC until she rang and we fixed things. Now back together everything is perfect except one thing. We have not slept together!? We used to have an active s3x life but now when ever i goto initiate things i am met with some excuse. Its very frustrating because i believe that is a crucial part of us reconnecting. I have spoken to female friends and they all think its weird for a girl not wanna sleep with her bf. I know she caught her ex cheating on her and she in generall is very cautious of men. I finally got it out of her that she does not trust me and does not know what i did or got upto in those 7 days we were apart and its eating away at her. I did not do anything with anyone else and i have tried explaining this to her. She says no action until she feels she can trust and be comfortable with me again. It irritates me because why would you get back with someone if you didn't trust them!? Im not her ex BF im still the same guy she was madly in love with before our break. She always has had major jealousy issues and im afraid shes only with me so i am not with anyone else. ( this is one thing that crossed my mind today) How can i mend this situation? what are your peoples thoughts? Would i good man wait around for her to feel comfortable? She says she loves me but not the same love as before because these trust issues are eating away at her. She still txt/calls and shows plenty of affection. I don't know what to do. I don't want to be the bastard that left her coz she didnt put out but i don't want to be in a s3xless relationship forever. Should i convince her s3x is important past of reconnecting? Tips, pointers and advice NEEDED! thanks
ifyouareok Posted September 27, 2010 Posted September 27, 2010 dude, you should do thing to make her feel secure, and it is importance to do from tiny things, care the change of her emotion, which action could make her smile. The reason is that you hurt her, and not just think sex, it is just part of life, if she do not trust you, even you can have sex with her, but she just lie on the bed, do you think that is a good thing?
Dexter Morgan Posted September 27, 2010 Posted September 27, 2010 Now back together everything is perfect except one thing. We have not slept together!? We used to have an active s3x life but now when ever i goto initiate things i am met with some excuse. my gut tells me its because she is getting it from someone else. not saying this to hurt you my man, I've been where you are. And in the case of repeated turn downs, IMO, more times than not its because they are cheating. could be she was with someone before you got back together and hasn't completely given him up.
Els Posted September 27, 2010 Posted September 27, 2010 dude, you should do thing to make her feel secure, and it is importance to do from tiny things, care the change of her emotion, which action could make her smile. The reason is that you hurt her, and not just think sex, it is just part of life, if she do not trust you, even you can have sex with her, but she just lie on the bed, do you think that is a good thing? I second this. You said after the breakup, she rang to 'fix things'. Usually that takes effort from two people. What are YOU doing to 'fix things' between the both of you?
Dexter Morgan Posted September 27, 2010 Posted September 27, 2010 dude, you should do thing to make her feel secure, and it is importance to do from tiny things, care the change of her emotion, which action could make her smile. The reason is that you hurt her did I miss something? What did he do to hurt her?
Author Downundernz Posted September 27, 2010 Author Posted September 27, 2010 my gut tells me its because she is getting it from someone else. not saying this to hurt you my man, I've been where you are. And in the case of repeated turn downs, IMO, more times than not its because they are cheating. could be she was with someone before you got back together and hasn't completely given him up. No i highly doubt this we were only broken up for a week lol. The feedback i had from a freind of hers in that week was that she missed me a great deal. Also she had just moved to my city where she knows no one and pretty much sat at home the whole week feeling sorry for herself. I don't mean to sound arogant but these days im very Alpha and i never do anything needy she dumped me in the heat of the moment at which point i went straight to NC. This is what she claims hurt her. I suddenly didnt pursue or show any affection to her. NC gave her the impression that i had moved on and didnt care and this is what hurt her. I think she is scared to let her barriers down given that it seems i can move on so fast, Since my first post in this thread ive spoken to her a few times i think its a trust issue. I need to rebuild it and reassure this girl that is slightly insecure. And if i had one inkling she was cheating Dexter i would be gone and im 99.9% sure thats not the case.
Author Downundernz Posted September 27, 2010 Author Posted September 27, 2010 I second this. You said after the breakup, she rang to 'fix things'. Usually that takes effort from two people. What are YOU doing to 'fix things' between the both of you? Yup you and the other poster are right. I need to stop worrying about my needs and rebuild trust and show companionship the rest will follow i guess
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