I don't wanna lose you...

[SapphleBerry]

His name is Filip, exchange student from Czech, here for 8 months. I got the other exchange students to tell him I thought he was beautiful, knowing who I was he was shocked and surprised and didn't believe some1 like me would like him, anyway he got my number, we texted later that night and then we get all lovey and sweet and he asks me to the movies, Monday in our practice exams week we go to the movies & meet properly for the first time and see a movie called going the distance, we don't talk too much he seemed shy, he kisses me lots (I remember his texts before meeting me saying he can't wait to kiss me and we texted heaps). He looked so happy and starstruck around me and learned heaps about me, he looked so sweet and innocent and beautiful, I missed my bus on the way back even though he lived far away he waited until the next bus came even though it was getting late and got his host dad to pick him up after I left, he said after that night he may not be able to talk for the rest of the night because he has an exam in the morning, anyway I sent him a text anyway at home and a message to tell him how amazing he is. He barely replied and I told him I didn't believe he liked me and he got annoyed that I didn't, come Wednesday , I text him saying 'have a great day, love u' and then he replies after ignoring me & tells me he had an ex in Czech from 4 months ago that he broke up with and hasn't forgotten, he said it be best for us to stop talking and seeing each other so he doesn't feel guilty (he said he was never initially using me) he apologized heaps but still I got so upset and begged him not to go and begged him to give me a chance then he said 'you are really annoying me now! I said maybe in a couple of months I'll be ready for a relationship, don't stress me!' (even though I never meant to pressure him into feeling like he should be with me) anyway he said he couldn't look at me the same now that I said I loved him and he told me to understand him. I burst out crying and beat myself up for days and tell everyone how bad I feel and some people tell me it was an excuse to reject me, or maybe I scared him, anyway I told him later that night how cruel it was he just left like that then a day after I lightened up and said 'hey can we talk sometime soon? have a great day..' he ignores that and everything and every time he comes on Facebook and sees me he logs off. I look back on how I reacted to his news and think he was good for not leading me on longer and sparing my feelings, I cannot get over him even two weeks after I'm still crying, I feel like it shouldn't have ended that way & I have no idea how he feels just I have been going everywhere for advice I feel crazy for this guy, I feel like he may come back to me, maybe I'm just trying to convince myself I dunno. But it was not supposed to end that way at all! I miss him so bad, anyone have any theories at all and advice for me, I just don't wanna let him go. I also wrote him a letter today telling him I'll leave him and never annoy him again even if I do like him, the letter also apologised to him for my actions, when I gave him the letter he didn't even look at me he just walked off and muttered 'ok' when I asked him to read it, after that I saw him again being silly with the other exchange students and they all kept looking over at me when he was talking, I heard later on yesterday from one of the Brazillian that he told the guys that I gave him a letter but he read it and did not show any of them, apparently he looked 'happy' when he was reading it according to the Brazillian, but I've had no word from Filip since...

[brainblox]

It's 3:50 am up for work in 4 hours still cant sleep:( Hey you will get over him just take your time there's no time limit on you feeling S**t, Don't contact him again and move on you can do much better. Next time look deeper inside yourself as to what you need in a relationship, I know I will...me gone bed !