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advice/comfort needed


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Posted

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I found this site yesterday while I was looking for some sort of support group. I just found out that my husband

of 4 years cheated on me. (I am 23, he is 33) I NEVER thought this would happen in our marriage! We have been seperated (not legally) for about 7 months. I found out about the infidelity yesterday! It happened one time, with a girl he met through work (she's a friend of a colleague that was applying for a job) I know that due to the seperation, we are rarely intimate. (the reason he said initiated the cheating) However, other than that, we have been very happy and ready to move back in with each other. I don't understand! I am having all of these emotions! I want to work things out, I still REALLY DO LOVE HIM!! He swears it will never happen again, and I believe him. Anybody have any advice or words of comfort? I would really appreciate it

:confused:

Posted

Demand counseling. Demand it.

  • 11 months later...
Posted

Yeah, counselling would be good, for you individually and as a couple.

I find it helpful to write/type out my feelings of anger and hurt, using "I feel..." instead of the more accustory "You..." Then give them to your husband. Or nto, depending on how you feel.

If you really want to work on it -- and I applaud you for it because you must be hurting a lot! -- talk to your husband and find out what he wants. It's time for complete honesty.

Have you heard of marriagebuilders.org? They have some useful articles on coping with infidelity and how to come to resolutions.

Good luck and take care. There's a lot of support here so don't feel too alone.

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