KAw2bKB Posted September 26, 2010 Posted September 26, 2010 Hi all, To make a long story short.... I have been dating my boyfriend for 9 months. At first it was great and no jealousy on my part until the second month when one of his ex's showed me text messages he had sent her wanting sex. They were very graphic in words. She did not meet him. His past has been full of one night stands or what I call F*ck Buddies. I forgave him only because they didn't meet for sex. But since then he has been faithful and yet I have become more and more jealous that it is taking a huge toll on my health. We finally had a talk last night (well more me letting him have it with how I feel and broke up) this morning we talked more and decided to work it out. He said he really loves me and the only thing that he has a problem with is my jealousy he loves everything else about me. Since my jealousy has gotten out of hand it has affected our relationship with him avoiding me and sex is non-existent. How do I let go of my jealousy side and bring back the love and sex?
TigerCub Posted September 26, 2010 Posted September 26, 2010 Hi all, To make a long story short.... I have been dating my boyfriend for 9 months. At first it was great and no jealousy on my part until the second month when one of his ex's showed me text messages he had sent her wanting sex. They were very graphic in words. She did not meet him. His past has been full of one night stands or what I call F*ck Buddies. I forgave him only because they didn't meet for sex. So you forgave him because they didn't meet for sex - although he wanted it from her. Isn't it possible that the sex never happened because the ex was the one that didn't want to meet? I think the fact remains in your mind, that he wanted to sleep with someone else while dating you - and although you may have taken him back, that issue doesn't seem to be fully resolved for you. The reason you're so jealous now is most likely (and obviously) because you dont trust him - that's what would cause you to be jealous of any girl he talks to. Just cuz you took him back, doesn't mean the issue was dealt with. I think you need to be honest with yourself and him about how what happened affected you. He needs to earn your trust again (for real), and hopefully then your jealousy issues would go away.
Dexter Morgan Posted September 27, 2010 Posted September 27, 2010 Hi all, To make a long story short.... I have been dating my boyfriend for 9 months. At first it was great and no jealousy on my part until the second month when one of his ex's showed me text messages he had sent her wanting sex. They were very graphic in words. She did not meet him. His past has been full of one night stands or what I call F*ck Buddies. I forgave him only because they didn't meet for sex. But since then he has been faithful and yet I have become more and more jealous that it is taking a huge toll on my health. We finally had a talk last night (well more me letting him have it with how I feel and broke up) this morning we talked more and decided to work it out. He said he really loves me and the only thing that he has a problem with is my jealousy he loves everything else about me. Since my jealousy has gotten out of hand it has affected our relationship with him avoiding me and sex is non-existent. How do I let go of my jealousy side and bring back the love and sex? Ok, here is a question for you to ponder. If he loves you, why would he be soliciting sex from another woman? The fact they didn't meet was because she didn't allow it. He still wanted to do it and solicited it. Your question of how to let go of the jealousy, jealousy is usually referenced when said thoughts are simple paranoia or unfounded. In your case he is giving you a reason to feel the way you do. so you don't have jealousy, you have substantiated feelings and lack of trust for someone that is not trustworthy. its up to you, but I can guarantee if you stay with this jackass, this won't be the last time you deal with him wanting to boff another woman. If the right opportunity presents itself where he thinks you won't find out....he'll be messing around with another woman. not saying this to stir it up for you, but you do need to wake up as to what your so-called bf really is.
make me believe Posted September 27, 2010 Posted September 27, 2010 I totally agree with Dexter. If his ex had accepted his creepy text message advances, he would have f*cked her. Do you want to be with a guy who didn't cheat on you only because the other girl wouldn't go along with it?? I think you made a HUGE mistake in forgiving him for that. He said he really loves me and the only thing that he has a problem with is my jealousy he loves everything else about me. :rolleyes: My response would have been "I really LOVED you, but the only thing I had a problem with was you soliciting sex from other women. Later!!" I mean, come on. You are jealous because you know he can't be trusted. HE is the one who caused this problem.
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