TCAI522 Posted September 26, 2010 Posted September 26, 2010 Hi I'm 21 year old male and my ex is a 21 year old female. We had been together for over 2 years. I broke up with her a few weeks ago when we went to her cousins bday at a bar. I was with her the entire night so we could avoid any arguments as to me not paying enough attention to her. I did, however have an issue with making out with her in front of her family members. I guessed this bothered her and she felt it necessary to flirt with other guys at the bar. While I was with her cousin joking around, she was very obviously flirting with another guy right in front of me. I got upset as I saw her fooling around with his hair, hat and, touching his tattoos on his leg. Still I stayed with her, and wanted to make sure she got home okay. I had no intentions whatsoever of breaking up with her. Her friend noticed me looking and quickly got her away from the other guy. She soon started apologizing at the bar, telling me that she does not like going out and getting drunk because she likes to "do this" with other guys so they could give her attention that I don't show her. When she said this, I was speechless, and just waited for her to say goodbye to her cousins, as we left the bar. As we left I held her hand as we left the bar, since I did not want to embarrass her in front of her family and friends. Mind you I am completely sober as I drank nothing but coke so that I could drive her home. She was pretty drunk. At this point I drove her friend home, who tried to convince me "how much she loves you. it was just a stupid mistake and she always talks about you. she loves you sooooo much." The friend left, and my ex tried again apologizing. I told her everything was ok, that we should talk the next morning I had work, and I love her so we would be okay. She proceeded to tell me that this was not the 1st time. (now mind you I have never given her an issue about going out, instead I encouraged her to go with her friends, especially since I liked hanging out with my friends) I just wanted to go home, sleep, and talk about it the next day. She refused to leave my car. She claimed that I had not kissed her good night quick enough as to say that I would not forgive her. I told her that was ridiculous and I just wanted to go home, sleep and get ready for work. After asking her nicely to go, she hit me. Than proceeded to tell me that although she does not like doing it “the reason why I goes out and flirt with other guys is because I like the attention that they give me, and I get like this because you’re ****ing ******* and you treat me like ****” She threw flowers that I had bought her in my face, with her hand slightly grazing me. This got me really mad and I took them and threw them out the window saying “Now you get the **** out with them.” She didn’t leave, and I told her that if she would not get out, I would drive and she could come home with me and sleep in the car or something, and tell her dad that She was taken home, yet refused to leave. As I get in the car and start driving, she starts crying and since I’ve lost patience I told her “all you have to do is get out, and we won’t have a problem.” At this point she gets pissed starts hitting me and calls me an “*******”. I proceeded to tell her that if she didn’t leave my car right now, “I am going to take you to the police station.” She says “What? Are you kidding me? What did I ever do to you? You’re overreacting.” I said “I have work tomorrow, I’ve wanted to leave, and you refused to get out after all the **** that happened tonight. If you don’t want to get out, I will get someone who will take you out.” I started driving there and she started to panic. At this point she tried to hug and become romantic with me. I declined, consistently telling her just to leave. She got pissed again, hit me repeatedly than once in the face. She went for a second and I blocked. I was pissed when she hit me in my face and I took her hands held her against my car door with my fist in the air. Right after, I realized the way I was acting and told her that she needed to go. Now at this point I got out of my car in which she followed me. I dodged her, got back in the car and started to drive. She held on to my car door and ran with the moving car. At this point I thought that she would fall and I stopped. As she let go she went in front of the car, to stop me from driving forward. At this point I drove in reverse, while she ran down the block screaming at the top of her lungs in front of the precinct. I reached the end of the block and feared that I was going to hit her with my car by accident. She got in crying and I just waited for her to calm down. I left her house at 6 AM. Now the reason I broke up with her is because I had gotten the urge to hit her, and was completely thrown off by the intensity of the argument. We broke up NOT because I found someone else, cheated on her or had fallen out of love with her, and not because of the situation at the bar where she flirted with the Mets fan directly in front of me, and only stopped when her friend pulled her away. Although it was a total act of disrespect, I still loved her and wanted to fix it. The PROBLEM was what happened in the car and I realized. TO prevent anything from occurring in the future I broke up with her so we could grow a little. Obviously she did not take the break-up well. We continued to talk and go out as friends. Now every time we did she would keep bringing up that I overreacted and we should still be together. I said that at this point it was not a good idea, and that I did not want to be the way that I was, especially since I have never threatened or raised my hand at anyone before. Last week she I took her home because the weather was ****ty. Things led to another and we eventually had sex. Afterwards I told her that I wish it hadn’t happened because I did not want to do something that I considered so special with her when we were not together. She was upset with my reaction. I went to her days later for the anniversary of her mother’s death. She begged me to be there, and although I felt uncomfortable from what happened days earlier, I went. I stayed with her all night, held her, and hugged her. At some point she started acting inappropriately and I told her that I could not do anything like that out of respect for her and her mother. She pushed it, but I declined. Now a day passes, without me talking to her. She went to a party and got drunk. It was there that she hooked up with some other guy. I was not aware of this, and felt terrible because I had a suspicion that she might do that. Still I said this “girl is amazing to me, and after what happened this week there was no way that would happen.” I was wrong, but instead of telling me about the incident when she called/texted me. She instead demanded to know why I was ignoring her. I was embarrassed to tell her, and saif “we just need space” Two days later she confronted me again. I asked her if anything happened Friday night and she said “Why are you asking me? Did you do something that you weren’t supposed to do.” I said “No, never, I love you.” She told me and I was deeply hurt. The story changed from he was the only guy she kissed, to she stopped when he tried to slip tongue in, to as soon as he did it she pushed him off. I couldn't help but think that she wanted to get back at me. even though I did the right thing by slowing us down. I was so upset and I told her we were through, even though I still love her. She cried, and said, she’ll do anything to have me back. that i was the only person she wanted. She said she would wait for me, and that all she wanted to do was make love to me over and over and over again. I miss her but things that don’t make Sense about her story… 1. She Claims that the night that she hooked up with the guy that she felt bad, although there were some really “Happy” pictures on Facebook of her car-ride home and at the bar, etc. 2. She was begging her friend to put the pics in order to I feel make me jealous. 3. She didn’t call to say “Hey I need to speak with you, something happened tonight, and I need to tell you.” Her texts/calls did not make any reference to the event, instead she yelled at me because I didn’t speak to her for (by Saturday) 2 days… 4. She accused me of doing something I shouldn't had done, while she knew full-well that she did something wrong. I dont know what to do. I was disrespected twice and she wants another chance. What do I do? I still love her, but things were getting rocky before we broke up anyway, since I was becoming distant with her. Why did she feel the urge to be with someone else? Should I forgive her? I am tired of being stepped on.
Bryanp Posted September 26, 2010 Posted September 26, 2010 If somewhat else had written what you had written what would you have replied? The girl is toxic and a major drama queen who likes to get drunk and mess around. She is an attention addict. Why in the world are you even friends with her? She is going to mess with your mind and probably you will end up in jail because of something she does to provoke you. She seems like she would be a serial cheater on top of everything else. Please stop wasting your time and find someone who shares your values. It is clear that she has no respect for you whatsoever. If you do not respect yourself then who will? Stop being her fool.
Darth Vader Posted September 26, 2010 Posted September 26, 2010 If somewhat else had written what you had written what would you have replied? The girl is toxic and a major drama queen who likes to get drunk and mess around. She is an attention addict. Why in the world are you even friends with her? She is going to mess with your mind and probably you will end up in jail because of something she does to provoke you. She seems like she would be a serial cheater on top of everything else. Please stop wasting your time and find someone who shares your values. It is clear that she has no respect for you whatsoever. If you do not respect yourself then who will? Stop being her fool. I agree, besides, this cancerous "whatever" is way too inmature! She has the "Princess Ass" mentality!
Mad Max Posted September 27, 2010 Posted September 27, 2010 This girl is a train wreck. Cut ties with her immediately. Do not call, text, or anything else. If necessary, block her number and get a restraining order if you have to.
Pleco Posted September 27, 2010 Posted September 27, 2010 Wait. She HIT YOU repeatedly and you are upset with yourself that you had the urge to hit her back? I applaud your morals, but you are being a complete doormat. The real issue here is the physical abuse she is dishing out on you. The other problems (which admittedly are considerable) are secondary to the abuse. If your genders were reversed, she could easily be arrested and charged with domestic violence and this story would outrage everyone who heard it. That is NOT OKAY. She is completely psycho. In all seriousness here...she must have a mental disturbance of some sort. She is also passive aggressive, and has some serious insecurity issues. You said you were feeling distant prior to this fight, and instead of dealing with this in a rational manner (i.e. talking to you) she instead flirts with other guys to make you jealous and in her mind somehow bring you closer to her. Don't you see the self destructive path she is trying to take both of you down? And really, chasing your car and screaming like a psycho during what should have been only a petty argument? Do you want this kind of trashy drama following you around? You need to cut all ties with her ASAP. She will only get worse with time. It is during moments of insecurity that people show their true colors. People with psychotic behaviors like this ONLY get worse.
wicar1 Posted September 29, 2010 Posted September 29, 2010 Hi I'm 21 year old male and my ex is a 21 year old female. We had been together for over 2 years. I broke up with her a few weeks ago when we went to her cousins bday at a bar. I was with her the entire night so we could avoid any arguments as to me not paying enough attention to her. I did, however have an issue with making out with her in front of her family members. I guessed this bothered her and she felt it necessary to flirt with other guys at the bar. While I was with her cousin joking around, she was very obviously flirting with another guy right in front of me. I got upset as I saw her fooling around with his hair, hat and, touching his tattoos on his leg. Still I stayed with her, and wanted to make sure she got home okay. I had no intentions whatsoever of breaking up with her. Her friend noticed me looking and quickly got her away from the other guy. She soon started apologizing at the bar, telling me that she does not like going out and getting drunk because she likes to "do this" with other guys so they could give her attention that I don't show her. When she said this, I was speechless, and just waited for her to say goodbye to her cousins, as we left the bar. As we left I held her hand as we left the bar, since I did not want to embarrass her in front of her family and friends. Mind you I am completely sober as I drank nothing but coke so that I could drive her home. She was pretty drunk. At this point I drove her friend home, who tried to convince me "how much she loves you. it was just a stupid mistake and she always talks about you. she loves you sooooo much." The friend left, and my ex tried again apologizing. I told her everything was ok, that we should talk the next morning I had work, and I love her so we would be okay. She proceeded to tell me that this was not the 1st time. (now mind you I have never given her an issue about going out, instead I encouraged her to go with her friends, especially since I liked hanging out with my friends) I just wanted to go home, sleep, and talk about it the next day. She refused to leave my car. She claimed that I had not kissed her good night quick enough as to say that I would not forgive her. I told her that was ridiculous and I just wanted to go home, sleep and get ready for work. After asking her nicely to go, she hit me. Than proceeded to tell me that although she does not like doing it “the reason why I goes out and flirt with other guys is because I like the attention that they give me, and I get like this because you’re ****ing ******* and you treat me like ****” She threw flowers that I had bought her in my face, with her hand slightly grazing me. This got me really mad and I took them and threw them out the window saying “Now you get the **** out with them.” She didn’t leave, and I told her that if she would not get out, I would drive and she could come home with me and sleep in the car or something, and tell her dad that She was taken home, yet refused to leave. As I get in the car and start driving, she starts crying and since I’ve lost patience I told her “all you have to do is get out, and we won’t have a problem.” At this point she gets pissed starts hitting me and calls me an “*******”. I proceeded to tell her that if she didn’t leave my car right now, “I am going to take you to the police station.” She says “What? Are you kidding me? What did I ever do to you? You’re overreacting.” I said “I have work tomorrow, I’ve wanted to leave, and you refused to get out after all the **** that happened tonight. If you don’t want to get out, I will get someone who will take you out.” I started driving there and she started to panic. At this point she tried to hug and become romantic with me. I declined, consistently telling her just to leave. She got pissed again, hit me repeatedly than once in the face. She went for a second and I blocked. I was pissed when she hit me in my face and I took her hands held her against my car door with my fist in the air. Right after, I realized the way I was acting and told her that she needed to go. Now at this point I got out of my car in which she followed me. I dodged her, got back in the car and started to drive. She held on to my car door and ran with the moving car. At this point I thought that she would fall and I stopped. As she let go she went in front of the car, to stop me from driving forward. At this point I drove in reverse, while she ran down the block screaming at the top of her lungs in front of the precinct. I reached the end of the block and feared that I was going to hit her with my car by accident. She got in crying and I just waited for her to calm down. I left her house at 6 AM. Now the reason I broke up with her is because I had gotten the urge to hit her, and was completely thrown off by the intensity of the argument. We broke up NOT because I found someone else, cheated on her or had fallen out of love with her, and not because of the situation at the bar where she flirted with the Mets fan directly in front of me, and only stopped when her friend pulled her away. Although it was a total act of disrespect, I still loved her and wanted to fix it. The PROBLEM was what happened in the car and I realized. TO prevent anything from occurring in the future I broke up with her so we could grow a little. Obviously she did not take the break-up well. We continued to talk and go out as friends. Now every time we did she would keep bringing up that I overreacted and we should still be together. I said that at this point it was not a good idea, and that I did not want to be the way that I was, especially since I have never threatened or raised my hand at anyone before. Last week she I took her home because the weather was ****ty. Things led to another and we eventually had sex. Afterwards I told her that I wish it hadn’t happened because I did not want to do something that I considered so special with her when we were not together. She was upset with my reaction. I went to her days later for the anniversary of her mother’s death. She begged me to be there, and although I felt uncomfortable from what happened days earlier, I went. I stayed with her all night, held her, and hugged her. At some point she started acting inappropriately and I told her that I could not do anything like that out of respect for her and her mother. She pushed it, but I declined. Now a day passes, without me talking to her. She went to a party and got drunk. It was there that she hooked up with some other guy. I was not aware of this, and felt terrible because I had a suspicion that she might do that. Still I said this “girl is amazing to me, and after what happened this week there was no way that would happen.” I was wrong, but instead of telling me about the incident when she called/texted me. She instead demanded to know why I was ignoring her. I was embarrassed to tell her, and saif “we just need space” Two days later she confronted me again. I asked her if anything happened Friday night and she said “Why are you asking me? Did you do something that you weren’t supposed to do.” I said “No, never, I love you.” She told me and I was deeply hurt. The story changed from he was the only guy she kissed, to she stopped when he tried to slip tongue in, to as soon as he did it she pushed him off. I couldn't help but think that she wanted to get back at me. even though I did the right thing by slowing us down. I was so upset and I told her we were through, even though I still love her. She cried, and said, she’ll do anything to have me back. that i was the only person she wanted. She said she would wait for me, and that all she wanted to do was make love to me over and over and over again. I miss her but things that don’t make Sense about her story… 1. She Claims that the night that she hooked up with the guy that she felt bad, although there were some really “Happy” pictures on Facebook of her car-ride home and at the bar, etc. 2. She was begging her friend to put the pics in order to I feel make me jealous. 3. She didn’t call to say “Hey I need to speak with you, something happened tonight, and I need to tell you.” Her texts/calls did not make any reference to the event, instead she yelled at me because I didn’t speak to her for (by Saturday) 2 days… 4. She accused me of doing something I shouldn't had done, while she knew full-well that she did something wrong. I dont know what to do. I was disrespected twice and she wants another chance. What do I do? I still love her, but things were getting rocky before we broke up anyway, since I was becoming distant with her. Why did she feel the urge to be with someone else? Should I forgive her? I am tired of being stepped on. dump her forgood
make me believe Posted September 29, 2010 Posted September 29, 2010 What the F*CK??! This psycho flirts with other guys in front of you, hits you repeatedly to the point where you threaten to take her to the police station, calls you names, hits you some more, runs after your car screaming at the top of her lungs, immediately hooks up with another guy after you dump her crazy ass.... and yet you claim she's "so amazing"?? Are you KIDDING me?! I'm sorry but if you get back together with this psychotic f*cking chick, you deserve whatever comes to you. She's shown her true colors. Anything less than cutting her out of your life for good would basically make you as psychotic as she is.
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