Cee Posted September 26, 2010 Posted September 26, 2010 I'm taking a hiatus from dating for awhile. I don't know how long, but it will be a minimum of 90 days. It will likely be longer than that. After dating for the past two years, I feel frustrated and demoralized that I haven't met someone who'd make an appropriate significant other. I don't know exactly went wrong, but I suspect my picker is broken. It could be other things. I hope to get some clarity once I put distance from the dating thing. I cried over it this morning. I feel lonely and dejected. It's not the grief that one has when breaking up with someone. It's grief over the loss of hope that a boyfriend was coming my way any time now. I have started this thread so that I can post on my feelings and progress in breaking free from the dating cycle. I deleted every ex dating partner and prospect from my phone. And deleted their texts. I was hanging onto their numbers for "Just in case." My phone is clean now. It only has friends, family, and coworkers, and important numbers in it. I have some other tasks to do like cleaning up Facebook, IM, etc. Also, I have to tell someone who is interested in me that now is not a good time. I'm sure other things will come up and I'll post them in the thread. If others are on a dating freeze, feel free to post your challenges and thoughts here as well. I appreciate any tips or feedback. Thanks
Gdunkman Posted September 26, 2010 Posted September 26, 2010 May be I am to slow in my romantic life, but as for me three months no dating is not a big period of time. We live in different cities with my ex for 4 months, broke up 2 months ago. I'm not even close to an idea to fine someone else. As far as I know, I might be wrong, she is not in relations yet as well, not because of me just haven't chosen her prince yet. If tomorrow I find out she dates with someone I'd think she is to quick
Author Cee Posted September 27, 2010 Author Posted September 27, 2010 May be I am to slow in my romantic life, but as for me three months no dating is not a big period of time. We live in different cities with my ex for 4 months, broke up 2 months ago. I'm not even close to an idea to fine someone else. As far as I know, I might be wrong, she is not in relations yet as well, not because of me just haven't chosen her prince yet. If tomorrow I find out she dates with someone I'd think she is to quick I agree with you 3 months is nothing. Unlike other people on the Coping section, I don't have a recent ex. I went 4 years without dating after my last significant relationship (2 year relationship and was really toxic). Needed time to learn to not be so needy on relationships and not settle on people who are emotionally unavailable. I thought that after 4 years of being single, I was entitled to meet someone because I was "healthy" and independent. After 2 years of being in the dating pool, I am frustrated and depressed. I have been single for 6 years and I am wanting a relationship, but I need to step back. I'm going to use the time that I was spending on dating on personal growth and growing my social life. Also, I think I need to reflect on my dating choices. Also, now that I'm 40, it's time to do some future planning like saving for retirement & possibly buying a house.
paleblue Posted September 27, 2010 Posted September 27, 2010 That’s cool Cee. Its probably not a bad idea once in awhile to take a break if you are feeling like that. You are not alone. Im in the whatever zone right now. I have also been dating about two years. And it has left me feeling annoyed and slightly despaired. After all the riff raff, and meeting a lot of wrong ones, taking a break sounds good. It is hard finding a good match. And I know how you feel about getting down having no one on the radar. Sucks, but so does dating the wrong people. Better off not thinking about it, and focusing on other things that make ya happy. Ha, must be something in the air, I recently got rid of all the dating and whatever else I had laying around from the ex’s. I too was feeling like “just in case” , but it was beginning to feel like a drag. Couple things I couldn’t get rid of, but most of it, all the little clutter, cards, numbers, magnets, even cloths, g0ne. In the trash. I had a whole trash bag of stuff. Felt like a relief to get rid of it. Now I am just going to chill for awhile and worry about myself. I don’t want to have to worry about trying to impress anyone and play any games with girls. Going to just work on the house. Dating doesn’t make me feel good lately but working on my house does.
Author Cee Posted September 28, 2010 Author Posted September 28, 2010 I have a lot more energy and optimism now that I've stopped dating. And it's only been a week. I am channeling the energy I spent in dates, OKC searches, emails, etc in new social events. And trying new things. Weeknights used to be big date nights for me. I'd have maybe one or two dates during the week. Instead, I'm going to a meetup group event at a retro 80s arcade on Wednesday. How cool is that? I hope they have Centipede, Galaga, and Tron. Ms Pacman is fun, but those machines aren't rare.
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