craig841 Posted September 26, 2010 Posted September 26, 2010 When a girl doesn't come to you all the time for emotional support and male attention, but has a lot in common with you (over 5 years of friendship), and when you do talk you talk animatedly and with genuine interest in what the other has to say, feeling you have some sort of connection with them but nothing sexual, what exactly do you call this? She's single, and about a year ago I expressed some feelings to her which weren't returned, and in retrospect were spur of the moment and now I see them as incorrect, and I was pretty sure we patched it up in a few months. A lot of the problems on this part of the forum seem to be caused by people being used by others who are not attracted to them for emotional support when their partner is not providing it/she cannot find another source. But this seems to be different...it's not like she's not interested in talking to me or whatever, but we live far apart and it's difficult to see each other regularly as she works crazy hours, so our conversations are reduced to IM and occasional phone calls. Sure, we have supported each other emotionally over the years, but she doesn't moan about every little thing in her life to me, and believe me I've had that quite a few times so I know what it's like. In an ideal world I would like to think it's almost as if she's still interested in being my friend but doesn't want to use me for comfort like other girls have done, but I know this isn't true...is she finding it from another source?
Author craig841 Posted September 28, 2010 Author Posted September 28, 2010 Anyone got any ideas? This is confusing me...
Star Gazer Posted September 28, 2010 Posted September 28, 2010 It sounds like she genuinely sees you as a friend, nothing more.
TaraMaiden Posted September 28, 2010 Posted September 28, 2010 When a girl doesn't come to you all the time for emotional support and male attention, but has a lot in common with you (over 5 years of friendship), and when you do talk you talk animatedly and with genuine interest in what the other has to say, feeling you have some sort of connection with them but nothing sexual, what exactly do you call this? Platonic. Sure, we have supported each other emotionally over the years, but she doesn't moan about every little thing in her life to me, and believe me I've had that quite a few times so I know what it's like. Pla-to-nic..... In an ideal world I would like to think it's almost as if she's still interested in being my friend but doesn't want to use me for comfort like other girls have done, but I know this isn't true...is she finding it from another source? Well, if it's not you she's turning to, then I would imagine the answer is yes. Anyone got any ideas? This is confusing me... yes.... She's a good platonic friend, with a handle on independence. Why does this confuse you? Would you expect something more? Are your feelings hurt because she's not more.... "clingy"....? Is your Ego taking a bit of a knock? (And I'm not being deliberately confrontational there. I really am asking if perhaps you're not feeling a little bit miffed? Slighted? Hurt? )
Author craig841 Posted September 28, 2010 Author Posted September 28, 2010 (edited) It's like she wants to be a friend, but not a 'good' friend and now wants to keep me at a distance somewhat. Is there maybe still fallout from my rash expression of feelings? Although she is scatty from my experience she hasn't returned one of my calls in months. And you say it's all platonic, but don't same-sex platonic friendships include emotional support too? She hasn't asked for comfort and support for ages and as a result I no longer feel I can ask for it from her. Edited September 28, 2010 by craig841
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