hard but okay Posted September 26, 2010 Posted September 26, 2010 Well a couple of nights ago my ex invited me to a photography society meeting (we both love photography) anyway that was fun so we went out for coffee after (and dont worry I was thinking nothing more than we are friends) but anyway I told her how yesterday (I saw her yesterday in the park outside my work, went and said hi etc) just before I saw her I was thinking man it would be funny in a bad way if I saw my ex here on a date, and sure enough I looked up and there my ex walked by thankfully with a chick friend but still weird. Anyway after hearing this she tensed a bit and told me that she actually had been on a couple of dates but it didnt go anywhere. Well I was a bit taken back and thanked her for telling me but asked why? she looked really anxious but told me that she thought I knew and was testing her by telling her about the park thing. Well anyway that threw me a bit eh and I again thanked her and told her its one of those things that I do but dont want to know as it will happen I am sure and knew it would I just tried not to think about it to be honest, But the fact is if I want to be her friend I need to accept this and yeah I told her this and that I hope she finds someone who appreciates her and is a nice guy as she deserves it. She then told me that she had decided not to tell me when she is dating but if it turns into something more she will let me know, also she said that one of the things it did was make her realize that she isnt ready yet and wants to be single for a bit longer to move overseas etc. I think to be honest she just said the last part to make me feel better. So yeah then we chatted a bit more about normal stuff and left, but im in a funny two minds thing, in my head I am okay as well I knew this would happen and now at least it has left me with no doubt that she doesnt want to get back with me, but then my gut feels like crap and im of course a little sad and finding it hard not to think about it its not like I havent been noticing girls and yeah ill be honest if someone nice came along I would probably want to go on a date but still I have this messed up double standard where I just didnt want to think about her moving on. So any advice would be welcome and I know I should be doing the whole NC thing but I truly want to be her friend so that isnt going to work I did take a month where we didnt see each other and emailed a tiny bit so I have kinda done it. maybe im kidding myself with wanting to be her friend when in reality I probably am wishing she will change her mind each time she sees me I dont know.....in my head I know it is the right course us not been together but in my heart I miss her and miss having someone special in my life. Cheers for reading my rant.
Veronica K Posted September 26, 2010 Posted September 26, 2010 ...So any advice would be welcome and I know I should be doing the whole NC thing but I truly want to be her friend so that isnt going to work I did take a month where we didnt see each other and emailed a tiny bit so I have kinda done it. maybe im kidding myself with wanting to be her friend when in reality I probably am wishing she will change her mind each time she sees me I dont know.....in my head I know it is the right course us not been together but in my heart I miss her and miss having someone special in my life. Cheers for reading my rant. Consider the possibility that by being around your ex, it could set up a situation in which it is going to be very difficult for any other woman to reach you.
Author hard but okay Posted September 26, 2010 Author Posted September 26, 2010 Consider the possibility that by being around your ex, it could set up a situation in which it is going to be very difficult for any other woman to reach you. Thats a very good point. The problem is I know we will be good friends once I can get past the wanting her back phase, I mean it has only been a couple of months. I understand for her it is easier because she would have let go before she ended the relationship but for me that whole letting go thing is kinda hard. I guess im just trying to take it a day at a time and sadly some days are worse than others. Thanks for teh reply though, it is good advice.
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