tinybear5 Posted September 25, 2010 Posted September 25, 2010 When it all comes down to it; I think I was a main reason for our breakup. I was selfish. It got to a point in our relationship where we use to spend 2 days a week t Ogether all day...to one day a week for 3 hours....then one day a week everyother week for an hour or two. I would get annoyed when he called or text me. He always tried so hard and I shoved it in his face. I didn't realize what I had. Now I do, and I want to do things different. And he can't give me that second chance. I don't see why he can't. Its killing me inside. . I use to constently threaten to break up with him . Then one day when I did it, he didn't come after me like he always did. He said he realized "wow this girl hasn't changed in 3 yrs" she's never going to .. I need him to give me that second chance, and I have no idea how to convince him to do it . I don't know what to do
Iconoclast Posted September 25, 2010 Posted September 25, 2010 We learn a great deal when we lose. He got tired of your games and neediness. You'll get over it. Learn and move on. Yes, it does hurt, but it doesn't last forever, even though it feels like it will.
TearsofHope Posted September 25, 2010 Posted September 25, 2010 Tinybear, I am with you too. You are so not the only one! Our exes just got plain ol tired with games or the same routine. I was not clingy or anything, but I felt I could of tried harder. I wasn't mean to him or threaten our relationship, nothing like that.. but I just think he got tired of us. We were together for 5 years. It sucks because its like what is there to do? I didn't do anything, prob begged him for 1 month then went NC at 2 months.. He did come back for a second chance only to change his mind 24 hours later b.c he is "scared" which that happen a week ago. Well considering I don't know if he'll come back, but its just feels like there is nothing to do. They will either come back on their own or they don't. Can't make them and I read this quote where it says "Never explain yourself to any one b/c the person who likes you doesnt need it, and the person who dislikes you won't believe it" Just some people assume too damn much. They assume things will go back to being the same, they assume it won't work. cant stand people like that
brainblox Posted September 25, 2010 Posted September 25, 2010 Hey I'm hear listening to sad songs thinking of my ex and you know what it's fine, I'm looking back without regrets and I remember the good times and they will live with me forever ! This is still in my system but it's no longer a case of me searching for reasons as to why or blaming myself for the death of our relationship ! It wasn't to be but I'm glad it happened as she was amazing, looking forwards I feel optimistic I will find a two way love!
sanskrit Posted September 26, 2010 Posted September 26, 2010 I don't know what to do Move on. He isn't in the mode to start afresh now, and anything you try further in the way of contact will just push him further away.
Author tinybear5 Posted September 26, 2010 Author Posted September 26, 2010 im supose to go over there today to take a "p-test"..we took one a couple of days ago and it was negetive but he "doesnt beleive it"...he says he NEEDS to see it to have a peace of mind. i told him id take it on my own and just send him a pic.....good idea going over there or not? =/
reservoirdog1 Posted September 26, 2010 Posted September 26, 2010 (edited) Not sure I can help with the p-test issue. But I do have one question: you said your frequency of seeing each other declined. I'm guessing this was at your initiative; you said you got to the point where his calls and texts were an annoyance to you, and that he "tried so hard but [you] shoved it in his face." You constantly threatened to dump him. You say you've realized what you had and what you've lost. But my question to you is, what's changed? After all, he's still the same guy you didn't want to see more than once every other week for a couple of hours, whose calls and texts annoyed you. You didn't want to be with him when you had him. What's different now? How is he less annoying now? You say that when you dumped him the latest time, he didn't come crawling back and begging to try again. Eventually, a puppy that gets kicked too many times is going to stop looking to the kicker for anything. It sounds like you saw him as pathetic when he'd come crawling back to you the previous times, and now that he's grown a pair and reclaimed his dignity and self-respect, you've seen something in him that you can't live without. Is it really just that -- the fact that he finally grew a spine? What about all the other things about him that made you hardly want to see him? Have they all evaporated? (Sounds to me like he finally realized that, if he never sees you again, it'll only be one time less every two weeks than he sees you now. And without the constant blows to his self-esteem. No big loss.) I'm not trying to be snarky with this post; I'm genuinely curious. Because, in my opinion, you should make very sure that you want him back for the right reasons. Are you sure the reason you suddenly want him back isn't simply because now, you CAN'T have him? Hardly the basis for a successful relationship. I think you need to think long and hard about your own motivations here. Because if you're going to get back with him but nothing's changed, you're going to be right back to where you were. And if that's the case, you may as well just leave the poor bugger alone right now. Edited September 26, 2010 by reservoirdog1
Author tinybear5 Posted September 26, 2010 Author Posted September 26, 2010 Not sure I can help with the p-test issue. But I do have one question: you said your frequency of seeing each other declined. I'm guessing this was at your initiative; you said you got to the point where his calls and texts were an annoyance to you, and that he "tried so hard but [you] shoved it in his face." You constantly threatened to dump him. You say you've realized what you had and what you've lost. But my question to you is, what's changed? After all, he's still the same guy you didn't want to see more than once every other week for a couple of hours, whose calls and texts annoyed you. You didn't want to be with him when you had him. What's different now? How is he less annoying now? You say that when you dumped him the latest time, he didn't come crawling back and begging to try again. Eventually, a puppy that gets kicked too many times is going to stop looking to the kicker for anything. It sounds like you saw him as pathetic when he'd come crawling back to you the previous times, and now that he's grown a pair and reclaimed his dignity and self-respect, you've seen something in him that you can't live without. Is it really just that -- the fact that he finally grew a spine? What about all the other things about him that made you hardly want to see him? Have they all evaporated? (Sounds to me like he finally realized that, if he never sees you again, it'll only be one time less every two weeks than he sees you now. And without the constant blows to his self-esteem. No big loss.) I'm not trying to be snarky with this post; I'm genuinely curious. Because, in my opinion, you should make very sure that you want him back for the right reasons. Are you sure the reason you suddenly want him back isn't simply because now, you CAN'T have him? Hardly the basis for a successful relationship. I think you need to think long and hard about your own motivations here. Because if you're going to get back with him but nothing's changed, you're going to be right back to where you were. And if that's the case, you may as well just leave the poor bugger alone right now. He was my first REAL relationship, so i sort of felt that i had to expirience other things, but i didnt want to lose what i have. i took advantage of how he put up with EVERYTHING in my life...full time student, working 48 hr work weeks...he accepted it. in his mind he said i could do no wrong, he alwayss said he loved me more than i loved him. They always say you dont know what you got until its gone, and i see that now. he had to do this for me to learn, so in a way im glad he did....but i want another shot now...its been almost a month, we havnt really tried this "no contact " thing....he texts me everyday. says he doesnt want me out of his life completly and when i told him the other day i couldnt talk to him anymore its too hard,i asked him if he agreed and he replied by saying "i dont"...."this is not a text convo, lets talk about this face to face". ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh =[
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