health Posted September 25, 2010 Posted September 25, 2010 I was the one always telling people to keep it no contact. I never even looked at her pictures. I just did recently. Then decided to contact her to make ammends. So I email her. Shes like why are you contacting me? I said just to say all is forgiven and healed. She thought it was weird....then her boyfriend - the same one she jumped in a relationship with 3 days after I broke up with her - She was hanging with him alot before our break up...he emails me a threat, saying he's gonna kick my teeth down my throat if I email her again? - I ignored him and didn't reply - let his anger fester. She messages me back and says she doesn't feel its right that we talk, and her current bf is pissed off- I dont even want to talk to her anyway. Funny how she didn't think it wasnt right for her to jump into a relationship three days after our almsot 6 year relationship. The guy she is with now is a psycho, unemployed, no education, neither of them can spell, he drinks and smokes weed. It's funny how my relationship with her was this pure love, healthy - kinda one, and now I feel sorry for her for who she's with. Oh well, I'm glad that's out of my life.
USMCHokie Posted September 25, 2010 Posted September 25, 2010 The guy she is with now is a psycho, unemployed, no education, neither of them can spell, he drinks and smokes weed. It's funny how my relationship with her was this pure love, healthy - kinda one, and now I feel sorry for her for who she's with. Oh well, I'm glad that's out of my life. Yea...I think you definitely won here...
Author health Posted September 25, 2010 Author Posted September 25, 2010 Thanks. I just hope I don't go spiraling down emotionally now. I won't though. I'm just working on my hobby now. It's funny. I never knew how break ups can affect people. I'm just grateful I experienced the love I have.
ohno89 Posted September 25, 2010 Posted September 25, 2010 I'm glad that you're glad.....god, people are bizarre!
ohno89 Posted September 25, 2010 Posted September 25, 2010 Thanks. I just hope I don't go spiraling down emotionally now. I won't though. I'm just working on my hobby now. It's funny. I never knew how break ups can affect people. I'm just grateful I experienced the love I have. Yuuuup. I thought I'd experienced the pain of a break-up before...and technically, I had...with this SAME ex...but nothing compared to the later cheating and betrayal etc, etc....I vow to never let anyone treat me like that again; 1 red flag and you're out! Plenty more fish in the sea I guess......
Author health Posted September 25, 2010 Author Posted September 25, 2010 I'm glad that you're glad.....god, people are bizarre! I don't think it's even right for me to feel glad. I kind of don't, I feel sorry for her. It's just unnerving.
Author health Posted September 25, 2010 Author Posted September 25, 2010 Yuuuup. I thought I'd experienced the pain of a break-up before...and technically, I had...with this SAME ex...but nothing compared to the later cheating and betrayal etc, etc....I vow to never let anyone treat me like that again; 1 red flag and you're out! Plenty more fish in the sea I guess...... I can imagine. It's just messed like when people treat me poorly and I go back to them. I was basically betrayed as well - so I should leave it alone - and I did for almost 2 years, then somethign snapped and I messaged her. The thing about breakups - major ones - People have to be soooo emotionally strong! I've seen and read stories of a lot of people acting crazy erratically after this....it's so important to focus on healing and getting oneself together - personal growth that's basically the only answer to a break up.
ohno89 Posted September 25, 2010 Posted September 25, 2010 I don't think it's even right for me to feel glad. I kind of don't, I feel sorry for her. It's just unnerving. I know the feeling...you can wish a million bad things upon your ex, 1 tiny thing goes wrong in their life and you feel bad for ever wishing bad in the first place...that kinda thing right?! Well....better pity on her than to miss her I guess but I get that this may derive from a tiny bit of care still left and that's fine....just shows you're not a sh**ty person.. I can imagine. It's just messed like when people treat me poorly and I go back to them. I was basically betrayed as well - so I should leave it alone - and I did for almost 2 years, then somethign snapped and I messaged her. The thing about breakups - major ones - People have to be soooo emotionally strong! I've seen and read stories of a lot of people acting crazy erratically after this....it's so important to focus on healing and getting oneself together - personal growth that's basically the only answer to a break up. Well...it sucks but you live and learn hey.....and most the time, life lessons are invaluable, you can't just buy them or read up on them...just be grateful for them I guess that you'll never let anyone else treat you the same because you KNOW now that you deserve better. And yes, I totally agree with that last part. My ex acted pretty erratically the first two mini break-ups we had before he came crawling back...third time round was a different story; he cheated and got together with this girl pretty much as soon as we were done but even now...I just know, despite the new gf and all the free drugs and whatever....I know he's still not feeling right within himself..like you, doesn't make me glad, just makes me feel a little sorry for him...obviously when I'm not feeling bitter or upset about it! Health, how we're you feeling about the situation before you emailed her?
Author health Posted September 25, 2010 Author Posted September 25, 2010 I know the feeling...you can wish a million bad things upon your ex, 1 tiny thing goes wrong in their life and you feel bad for ever wishing bad in the first place...that kinda thing right?! Well....better pity on her than to miss her I guess but I get that this may derive from a tiny bit of care still left and that's fine....just shows you're not a sh**ty person.. Well...it sucks but you live and learn hey.....and most the time, life lessons are invaluable, you can't just buy them or read up on them...just be grateful for them I guess that you'll never let anyone else treat you the same because you KNOW now that you deserve better. And yes, I totally agree with that last part. My ex acted pretty erratically the first two mini break-ups we had before he came crawling back...third time round was a different story; he cheated and got together with this girl pretty much as soon as we were done but even now...I just know, despite the new gf and all the free drugs and whatever....I know he's still not feeling right within himself..like you, doesn't make me glad, just makes me feel a little sorry for him...obviously when I'm not feeling bitter or upset about it! Health, how we're you feeling about the situation before you emailed her? Ya it's crazy. Like we broke up in dec 2008 after 5 years and 4 months. She rebounded 3 days later which killed me, cause I never meant to leave her - but it shows where her head was at anyway. If she loved/respected me she wouldn't have done that - I did n/c in April 2009 - she kept trying to contact me until Oct 2009 - I felt like I was healing the whole time - I slumped out of bed to make it through the day, cried alot the first couple of months, I got involved in 3 mini healing relationships - which don't work at all. Maybee a bit to ease the pain. Lately I felt good being single, I felt okay. I would still think of her. This girl I met still talked to her ex and said that it was wrong to completely cut off mine - like they say if you leave something in anger its not good - you have to heal the past so you can get to a good future - so I just wanted to touch down with my ex and tell her its all okay. Her current boyfriend seriously emailed me the most abusive threatening physically initimidatding email. I laugh cause I know what hate does - so I didn't reply. Part of me feels like such a wimp and loser for this - this guy stole my girl and now he has the nerve to email me this? I wrote an evil reply back but kept it to myself to vent. It felt good before. Now I feel a little pain, I just hope I don't dwindle down in despair over this. I'm going to be okay, I'm just gonna read and take care of myself tonight.
Author health Posted September 25, 2010 Author Posted September 25, 2010 I learned the only thing good comming out from breaking no contact was learning how much of a mess she is and how I don't want nothing to do with her. Today was very overwhelming for me. I opened up a can of worms I probably shouldn't have.
McGrupp Posted September 26, 2010 Posted September 26, 2010 sounds to me like you could still bang her, if you contact her on the DL, play up his insecurity,...but thats up to you.
Author health Posted September 26, 2010 Author Posted September 26, 2010 sounds to me like you could still bang her, if you contact her on the DL, play up his insecurity,...but thats up to you. That's pretty messed up, but it did cross my mind - and that's going against what I'm about. She did say that she can't talk to me at the "moment" and it sounds like he is super clingy to her - when it happened 2 years ago I told him I trusted her I didn't know another guy can take her away - but now HE knows another guy can take her away - cause he did it! I laughed in his face. She would always tell me how he didn't want to leave her side ever and they are always couped up and never go out. Part of me wants to do that. I feel I have no more faith in healthy relationships - checking the divorce and cheating and family forums....if people don't have their **** together don't get married or have kids! Break ups - I can see how good people can turn cold. Still I'm using this as a growing experience however I can.
LostInTurn Posted September 26, 2010 Posted September 26, 2010 She rebounded 3 days later which killed me, cause I never meant to leave her - but it shows where her head was at anyway. If she loved/respected me she wouldn't have done that - I did n/c in April 2009 - she kept trying to contact me until Oct 2009 - QUOTE] I don't think I understand what you're saying here. Are you saying that if she loved you she should NOT have met someone else? You left her, correct? If that is the case, regardless of how she felt, maybe meeting someone else is what she needed to do to heal. Why are you saying this was unfair to you? Did you want her to sit there and pine over you? You left her. Also, you're saying you went NC and she tried to contact you. Do you have any idea how this probably made her feel? I'd guess like many of us who are ignored by the ones we loved after they left us. I'm sorry if I seem harsh, but I'm being honest. If I was in her shoes and you emailed me, I'd be angry and wouldn't blame my significant other for being angry as well.
Author health Posted September 26, 2010 Author Posted September 26, 2010 She rebounded 3 days later which killed me, cause I never meant to leave her - but it shows where her head was at anyway. If she loved/respected me she wouldn't have done that - I did n/c in April 2009 - she kept trying to contact me until Oct 2009 - QUOTE] I don't think I understand what you're saying here. Are you saying that if she loved you she should NOT have met someone else? You left her, correct? If that is the case, regardless of how she felt, maybe meeting someone else is what she needed to do to heal. Why are you saying this was unfair to you? Did you want her to sit there and pine over you? You left her. Also, you're saying you went NC and she tried to contact you. Do you have any idea how this probably made her feel? I'd guess like many of us who are ignored by the ones we loved after they left us. I'm sorry if I seem harsh, but I'm being honest. If I was in her shoes and you emailed me, I'd be angry and wouldn't blame my significant other for being angry as well. I see what you mean. What I failed to mention was I left her because she was hanging around with the guy she's with now a lot. She didn't cheat physically but emotionally. 3 days after our break up she gets with him. I always sensed he liked her. I trusted they were just friends and this happens. I went nc cause I needed to heal and she kept breaking it wanting me like a back up - now she's with a loser who wears make up and is always angry. Oh well.
Thorgs Posted September 26, 2010 Posted September 26, 2010 now she's with a loser who wears make up and is always angry. Sounds like a Lady GaGa fan.
LostInTurn Posted September 26, 2010 Posted September 26, 2010 Break ups - I can see how good people can turn cold. I'm glad someone finally gets it! Thank you.
Author health Posted September 26, 2010 Author Posted September 26, 2010 Sounds like a Lady GaGa fan. LMAO!!!!! So funny.
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