Bren91 Posted September 25, 2010 Posted September 25, 2010 Ok, so me and my boyfriend broke up about 2 months ago and I'm still crazy about him. We still love eachother but both agreed that we weren't right for each other at the moment as I'm going off to university, want to go out with my mates alot and all that. We are still talking and still tell each other that we love them but we are officially just friends. I don't want to stop contacting him because that might mean I'll lose him forever and we will never get back together like we plan to in the future. I am also petrified of him finding somebody else as it would hurt me so much and I really don't know how I'de cope with it. Also I find myself fretting over things that I didn't tell him when I was with him that aren't even that important but feel he has to know and I can't stop thinking about it till I do. I am so confused, my head and emotions are all over the place at the minute. I truely so love him and pray we get back together eventually but I don't know how to cope in the meantime, feels like this is going to drive me insane. Any advice? Thanks
TearsofHope Posted September 25, 2010 Posted September 25, 2010 I don't know what to tell you.. I was in the same position.. til things got worse and worse and now we don't speak at 2 months. I don't think he will come back anymore but not b/c it was my fault or anything. I stopped the begging and pleading at 1 month. But I think b/c its just one day, he or you will wake up and realize that things just don't feel right. He will either let you go (again) b/c he just cannot make up his mind as to getting back into the relationship, or you will realize that its just not fair anymore and give up by going NC. Sounds like you guys are going about the situation more at peace than with me and my ex. This guy was pushing me away even when I was trying to be nice to him. So maybe your case is different.
Sambo Posted September 25, 2010 Posted September 25, 2010 Well you have all normal fears but heres the good news. 1. 95% of rebound relationships fail miserably. 2. Once he see's that life without you stinks you will have a much better relationship if you ever get back together. 3. He has the exact same fears and concerns that you do. Even if he isn't expressing that. So you really need to be happy right now because the odds are all in your favor and the best thing you can do is just relax and enjoy your new freedom.
Author Bren91 Posted September 25, 2010 Author Posted September 25, 2010 Thanks. Is it ok that I'm still talking to my ex though? So many people have told me to just stop talking to him but I literally can't do that. He was my best friend and I would like to keep him as a friend even if we can't be more. Any advice on how I can start treating him as a friend eventhough I'm still totally in love with him?
Sweet_Tea Posted September 26, 2010 Posted September 26, 2010 don't stop talking to him completely but limit the contact you have with him. my breakup was mutual and we only talk about once or twice a week tops. space helped me heal, but some contact helped me heal too. time and space made me realise it was the right thing to do, as much as it hurt. just do what you feel is right for you, every break up is different.
Sambo Posted September 26, 2010 Posted September 26, 2010 Thanks. Is it ok that I'm still talking to my ex though? So many people have told me to just stop talking to him but I literally can't do that. He was my best friend and I would like to keep him as a friend even if we can't be more. Any advice on how I can start treating him as a friend eventhough I'm still totally in love with him? So what are you going to do when he tells you that he's seeing another girl? You have no choice ! You must go NC to protect your heart.
durkadurka Posted September 26, 2010 Posted September 26, 2010 So what are you going to do when he tells you that he's seeing another girl? You have no choice ! You must go NC to protect your heart. Depends how strong you are, because if you have a healthy ego you will know you provided for this person better than anyone else could. The other choice is just not talking to them, but that precludes the chance of having any future with them. There's a fine line between being someone's emotional foot stool while they move on, and being a wank slice and not talking to them.
Sambo Posted September 27, 2010 Posted September 27, 2010 Depends how strong you are, because if you have a healthy ego you will know you provided for this person better than anyone else could. I don't believe this for a second. Who says that you are the only one that will love them as much? Every woman that I've loved I've swore they were the best love I ever had but then the next one comes along and I love her more then the last. It would be arrogant to say that YOUR love is the best that a person could find and totally unrealistic.
durkadurka Posted September 27, 2010 Posted September 27, 2010 I don't believe this for a second. Who says that you are the only one that will love them as much? Every woman that I've loved I've swore they were the best love I ever had but then the next one comes along and I love her more then the last. It would be arrogant to say that YOUR love is the best that a person could find and totally unrealistic. What I mean is simply that if you have a healthy ego and a good sense of self perception, you know you did the best you could. Sometimes circumstances are less than ideal, and there is nothing you can do about it. I can't change if my ex bumps into a fortune 500 CEO tomorrow and he takes an interest in her. I can't compete on that level. What I can say though, is that given the circumstances at the time, I did what I could.
Sambo Posted September 28, 2010 Posted September 28, 2010 I can't change if my ex bumps into a fortune 500 CEO tomorrow and he takes an interest in her. I can't compete on that level. LOL Mine didnt even need a fortune 500 ceo and left for a established local travel agency owner.
durkadurka Posted September 28, 2010 Posted September 28, 2010 LOL Mine didnt even need a fortune 500 ceo and left for a established local travel agency owner. Mine is dating the 'owner' of a off leash dog park and swimming/tennis club in her home town. He's a bland tall lanky white man with a mushroom cut and acne, who took 10 years to graduate university and is 12 years older than her. By owner she means he runs it for his dad. His house was foreclosed on a less than a year ago. By tennis club she means 4 run down courts that haven't been used in 30 years. By swimming club, she means 2 piece of crap pools that were built in the 50s. By off leash dog park.. I mean he has a fetish for dogs, so he owns some land and lets people pay some money to let their dogs play on it. By tall lanky white man with a mushroom cut and acne, I mean exactly that. It's like her standards fell off a cliff, and then some. I used to be a model. By take 10 years to graduate University.. I mean he took 10 years. By 12 years older, I mean he's almost old enough to be her dad. He's 35 ****ing years old. It all makes me sick.
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