TearsofHope Posted September 25, 2010 Posted September 25, 2010 Is there anyone who just got out of a relationship/those who gotten dumped single still? Are you just getting thru the days? I dunno if I am emotionally ready to jump into something new. Just seems like everyone can move on so fast.. its been 2 months since the breakup I feel like I am so lost that I don't even know how to go about dating. I never been on online dating websites or anything like that. I was with my ex for 5 years and we met in college. Infact, I was studying when he walked over to me. So it wasn't like I was in a party scene or a bar or something. I am just finding it very awkward on how to go on a date. Men have told me they find me very intimidating as they think I am already taken or married so I feel like I can't get a date. Not desperate, just a little sad and lonely i guess. Also, I am not a party girl. Been there and done that. I am more of that settled down kind of girl. maybe im weird im 23 though lol Anyone else still single and just taking life day by day or what? I am slightly worried that I may not find someone else.
leftfield Posted September 25, 2010 Posted September 25, 2010 You're 23! You've got plenty of time to meet someone else, and you will, but you are still going through the pain of the breakup so you don't even need to be worrying about that at the moment. Just think about what makes you happy within yourself and try to focus on that for a while. I'm ten years older than you and I got dumped nearly three months ago. I'm still single and I'm not in a position to look for anyone yet, I still miss her and think about her too much to give someone else my attention. Someone else on LS suggested to me that it is difficult to makes plans for the future when you've been dumped because you already had plans (even subconsciously) that have now been drastically changed due to the circumstances. Taking it day by day is absolutely the best thing you can do until you start to feel less pain over the breakup. If you do want to make plans then plan to do something for you in the next few weeks, because while you're young, free and single you can do anything you want. Good luck to you.
Billie The Puppet Posted September 25, 2010 Posted September 25, 2010 I want a women to settle down with, thought the ex was the one, we talked about it throughout the honey moon stage just when I was going to pull off the proposal she all of a sudden needed to see if she can make it on her own. I think it's a BS excuse. It's been 2 months since our break up as well, I am still single as in I have not entered a relationship at all. I hate this single life, weekends especially. Right now instead of typing this up on my computer I would be rolling over in her bed and giving her a back rub while she sleeps.
Sambo Posted September 25, 2010 Posted September 25, 2010 I am slightly worried that I may not find someone else. Yes you will never find another man for the rest of your life and you will die and old lonely cat lady! Sweetie, your young healthy and you have your whole life ahead of you. The world is your oyster and it will give you pearls if you just wake up and realize all your blessings. Stop thinking about the past and just try your best to forget about what was and focus your attention on what will be, then dream big.
Gdunkman Posted September 25, 2010 Posted September 25, 2010 Hey TearsofHope! I'm in pretty the same situation as you, hope that helps you a bit, just like your thread makes me feel a bit better as I realize I'm not the only one who is lost. Relations with my ex were my first long term relations and I met her by coincidence looking for a co-traveller to India where we spent some weeks and where our relations started. Before that my successful attempts to date with someone started: through internet, at work, twice with customers of the bookshop I used to work at and once I met a girl in an intercity bus, she started contact actually. Never on the street, in a bar, at party or through friends. That's how I have no idea where to find a partner, my present job has nothing to do with meeting people and I'm not going to travel by bus to meet my love I'm trying fb and street talks in order to meet someone, but at the moment I feel like successful attempt has the same probability as winning the jackpot in a casino. I have no problems with self-esteem, I feel that probability from my last experience.
Author TearsofHope Posted September 25, 2010 Author Posted September 25, 2010 Gosh this sucks.. I kinda miss him. But he has put me thru so much, its like, I dont know why I am not happy that hes gone.!? Anyhow, its saturday.. 2pm and atleast 90 degrees outside. very hot and wish I was at the beach with him. gosh darnit its like i dont feel the urge to want to be with someone else/friends at the beach.. i want to be with him at the beach lol.. i dunno why im doing this to myself. man caused me pain and yet i am thinking of him right now. im about to grab me something to eat and now i wish i could be eating with him. this is just ridiculous!! its pissing me off..thank goodness ill be busy later on, but i just hate this feeling!
Author TearsofHope Posted September 25, 2010 Author Posted September 25, 2010 ughh just venting b/c im bored. its too hot to be doing anything. i already spent enough at the mall, i have this weird feeling like i just want to be with him.. i don't want to be around other people. my back hurts and wish he was here to massage it. get this, this man dumped 2 months ago.. i broke NC 8 days ago ONLY b/c he confessed his "underlying love" and wanted me back only because he couldn't take life without me anymore only to change his mind 24 hours later b/c he is "scared". From that day, I told him to never bother me again. Talk about stabbed in the heart twice! Now I feel sad b/c I haven't heard from him, and some days I feel like I don't want him, but then other days, I do miss him and scared hes with someone else.
skydiveaddict Posted September 25, 2010 Posted September 25, 2010 I know how you feel. I had my heart smashed to bits a year ago and it still hurts. Don't have anymore contact with him if you can help it.
isitreal Posted September 26, 2010 Posted September 26, 2010 I'm sort of in the same position right now(a guy though). I really don't want to be single, but don't really want to date. I'm transitioning right now as I will be leaving my college town to pursue a career (it's a college town), and the thought of having to leave all my friends that I've made once again and re-enter the world basically alone...although friends have told me you shouldn't look at everything so "set in stone" and just date around.. Anyways I've been through this before, and maybe you have with past boyfriends, but as soon as you can let go, the world becomes your oyster again. It's easier said than done, but work on letting go. The person who you are imagining right now is just good moment after good moment. It's like Tivo where you're reliving good memories, but if you're like me, there were probably some really ****ty ones as well. Try and get those to the surface. Even if you miss him, you're going to have to let go, because no one wants to start a relationship with an emotional wreck, even just a friend based one. When you move on you'll probably hear from him again, but chances are you wont care. I'm not even there yet, but I still believe this to be true. Take care, and keep busy. Do your things in the morning, don't lay awake at night reliving the past. As soon as you get home, be tired enough to hit the bed and get up early, you should be good to go!
Snowman27 Posted September 26, 2010 Posted September 26, 2010 TearsofHope, i am going through almost the same thing. my g/f cheated on me and i ended it. i was with her for almost 5 years and now im alone again. I am taking each day at a time and trying to keep busy. I spend a lot of time with my family and just started reconnecting with a lot of old friends. I'm so rusty and scared about dating again. I was never good at it to begin with and now i have a lot trust issues. One thing that helps me through the day is getting back to the a lot of the hobbies i didnt do when i was tied down. when i was with my G/f i kind of got out of jogging and exercising, i started doing it again and i feel a lot better. the hardest part for me is being alone at night, im combating that with lots of TV,lol
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