WhyIOughta Posted September 25, 2010 Posted September 25, 2010 I have a friend(Chris), who I've known for a couple months, and we've hung out a few times, and even made out while intoxicated. I like Chris, I really do, and he's one of the sweetest/nicest guys, I've ever met: He's funny, He has a really cute face, and he makes me very comfortable, but here's the deal. Chris is overweight, I normally like my men with a little more beef to them, but he's got too much. He works out, and he 'lifts weights', but lifting weights, really isn't going to do too much, expect make him stronger(and he is very strong). I feel like such a bitch for thinking these things, that he too big, but it's true. What is every ones take on this? Wanting to be with someone, and liking them emotionally, but not really feeling their weight.
Westy Posted September 25, 2010 Posted September 25, 2010 (edited) I have a friend(Chris), who I've known for a couple months, and we've hung out a few times, and even made out while intoxicated. I like Chris, I really do, and he's one of the sweetest/nicest guys, I've ever met: He's funny, He has a really cute face, and he makes me very comfortable, but here's the deal. Chris is overweight, I normally like my men with a little more beef to them, but he's got too much. He works out, and he 'lifts weights', but lifting weights, really isn't going to do too much, expect make him stronger(and he is very strong). I feel like such a bitch for thinking these things, that he too big, but it's true. What is every ones take on this? Wanting to be with someone, and liking them emotionally, but not really feeling their weight. Being a guy myself that is overwieght, I am not going to call you shallow, you like what you like. My last girlfriend was very thin, Ive always been on the big side, I had joined the Army after we started dating (I was 22) and I lost an ass load of weight, (try 60lbs) and she didnt like that I had gotten thin, luckily for her when I got out and quit with that bull**** running I gained it back! Ive never had a problem with women because of it, and im sure there was women that would have never dated me because of it, I like a nice rack, and probably wouldnt really want to start dating a girl that didnt have one, so sue me. Whats his height and weight (estimate I guess)? Edited September 25, 2010 by Westy
USMCHokie Posted September 25, 2010 Posted September 25, 2010 Can you ignore someones weight and still be with them? Yes; as long as they value their health and fitness to some extent. The only issue I think that has ever come up was the girl being insecure that she was overweight or wasn't in the same shape as I was...and I would NEVER want a girl to feel that way...if I didn't think they were amazing just the way they were, I wouldn't be dating them to begin with...and I've dated some girls that had some pounds to lose but their weight never bothered me one bit...I was still proud to be with them in public... That said, if you don't think this guy is great at his current weight, then LAUNCH and move on. Let him be with someone who appreciates him the way he is.
Author WhyIOughta Posted September 25, 2010 Author Posted September 25, 2010 Being a guy myself that is overwieght, I am not going to call you shallow, you like what you like. My last girlfriend was very thin, Ive always been on the big side, I had joined the Army after we started dating (I was 22) and I lost an ass load of weight, (try 60lbs) and she didnt like that I had gotten thin, luckily for her when I got out and quit with that bull**** running I gained it back! Ive never had a problem with women because of it, and im sure there was women that would have never dated me because of it, I like a nice rack, and probably wouldnt really want to start dating a girl that didnt have one, so sue me. Whats his height and weight (estimate I guess)? Sorry if I sounded shallow, I didn't mean that at all. He's 5"10 and probably a good 350(maybe more), he's a real big guy, and he's got a medium frame.
make me believe Posted September 25, 2010 Posted September 25, 2010 If you're not attracted to him, then a relationship will never work. 5'10" and 350 lbs is not just overweight... it is obese. It's not shallow to not want to date a morbidly obese person. I know I certainly wouldn't do it.
Author WhyIOughta Posted September 25, 2010 Author Posted September 25, 2010 If you're not attracted to him, then a relationship will never work. 5'10" and 350 lbs is not just overweight... it is obese. It's not shallow to not want to date a morbidly obese person. I know I certainly wouldn't do it. I'm attracted to his face and personality, just not his body -.-
FryFish Posted September 25, 2010 Posted September 25, 2010 Hey... I dont date fat chicks... Am I shallow? People tell me I am. But I really dont like fat people.
Citizen Erased Posted September 25, 2010 Posted September 25, 2010 I can honestly say I would never date someone that is 350 pounds, no matter how nice their personality or their face is. I weigh 120 pounds...I don't want someone twice my size.
USMCHokie Posted September 25, 2010 Posted September 25, 2010 I'm attracted to his face and personality, just not his body -.- Then don't pursue dating this guy...seriously...LAUNCH...
BobSacamento Posted September 25, 2010 Posted September 25, 2010 Holy crap...and I think I'm fat at 170
Dazzel Posted September 25, 2010 Posted September 25, 2010 I myself am overweight. I'd look a lot better with 60 or more pounds off of me. It would be entirely hypocritical of me to say I wouldn't date a fat guy. And I'll be honest, I actually don't mind dating a bigger man. I am more attracted to men on the slender side, even those who many girls would label as too skinny. It's unfortunate for me since when I am next to guys like this, it's kinda like a St. Bernard and a Chihuahua together.... I have seen chubby and pretty overweight guys that I have thought were quite attractive. The idea of a guy that weighs more than me also appeals to me because I weigh more than all the guys I have been with. I feel unfeminine because of it. The thing that attracts me the most on a person, physically, is their face. Weight isn't really an issue with me unless they are super huge. Like, getting way past that 350 pound mark. When someone reaches that point, many things can be difficult. It's almost impossible to have sex at that size too....or at least it's hard to have 'normal' sex, from what I've heard.
naya1 Posted September 25, 2010 Posted September 25, 2010 (edited) i prefer chunky men tho they eat my cooking even though its bad and they like to eat..which is something we can do every week. granted he will share the food and not keep it all to himself! as long as he doesnt smell bad and can still please me in bed. why not? so op, post his pics thnx also im thinking u and him can probably go jogging/running together 3-4x a week, and go to the gym together. a lot more stuff to do w/ him other than making out or making babies. Edited September 25, 2010 by naya1
Westy Posted September 25, 2010 Posted September 25, 2010 Sorry if I sounded shallow, I didn't mean that at all. He's 5"10 and probably a good 350(maybe more), he's a real big guy, and he's got a medium frame. oh ok, that is a pretty big guy, im 6'0 around 230-240.
make me believe Posted September 26, 2010 Posted September 26, 2010 I'm attracted to his face and personality, just not his body -.- I think not being attracted to his body is a big problem. I mean, can you imagine getting turned on by him, having sex with him, etc?
Romance Posted September 26, 2010 Posted September 26, 2010 I couldn't. A little extra, nbd but he seems to not care about his health. I'm a little chubby, 5'6" and 160 lbs and I go to the gym a few times a week and track everything I eat, trying to get down my ideal 135 again. So, I mean, Im not obese or very large..but I could see some guys not wanting to date me because of it. I have a pretty thin boyfriend (6' and 170) but he doesn't seem to mind at all, he always says he doesn't even think I'm fat (which of course he's gonna say ) but 350 pounds, come on. there is a point where you just totally QUIT caring about your body and that's sad.
Bogo123 Posted September 26, 2010 Posted September 26, 2010 Im going through the same thing. I've had sex with her and im attracted to her body somewhat. Its nice and curvy but too big. She works out though and is somewhat conscious of what she eats. Does he even want to lose weight? If not, then move on. But if he does, then you can work with him in eating healthy foods and doing cardio.
kiss_andmakeup Posted September 26, 2010 Posted September 26, 2010 5'10 and 350 is morbidly obese. At this point it's not even just a question of attraction (which is a big issue in and of itself), but a question of whether you want to be with someone who will probably face a multitude of health problems down the road (if he isn't already). My bf is on the huskier side at 5'10 and around 200...I couldn't imagine being with someone who carried an additional 150lbs. Even the health issues are an afterthought though, really. For a healthy and intimate relationship physical attraction is necessary.
on edge Posted September 26, 2010 Posted September 26, 2010 That dude is obese. I like girls with a few extra pounds. I actually find the girl on the right's body more attractive than the girl on the left's body. At some point, a person needs to take control of their life. If he can't manage his weight or at least make an effort then it raises questions about what else he cannot manage.
tami-chan Posted September 26, 2010 Posted September 26, 2010 Holy crap...and I think I'm fat at 170 If you are 5'4" at 170, you are fat. Anyway, OP, what is your bottom line? What PROFOUNDLY matters to you when all is said and done?
Author WhyIOughta Posted March 7, 2011 Author Posted March 7, 2011 I just wanted everyone to know that I did decided to give him a chance, I thought about it a lot, and decided that he was too awesome to give up, I love that man and will do everything to help him. We're both actually on a diet now, we work out a hour a day and eat better. Last summer he said he lost 40 pounds, and said he WILL do it again, and this time it was HIS idea to go on a 'couple-diet' I guess you could call it!. I think I made the right decision.
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