YSS Posted September 24, 2010 Posted September 24, 2010 As a newbie to this site...I am glad to have found it. While I have not posted my story here, trust me, it does not differ much from what many of us have experienced and are struggling with day to day. Details may vary but I too am coping with the loss of a love and the feelings of will I ever trust someone again, will I love again, will genuine -belly type laughter return to me, what will my tomorrows look like (god-willing not like the present) etc. At the end of the day, how we cope with our current pain to lighten its grip on us (mentally and emotionally) and move through it, will determine our future. With each poster's courage to share their story and pain comes the support from all others. In this thread, I would like to share with you resources that for myself offered me a different perspective during these hard times. Sometimes, its the smallest thing that may click with us that offers some light - new perspective to see things differently and lead us to the start of a happier path. I hope the resources listed below will be of benefit to someone. I encourage you all to share resources that have helped you to cope. May this be an empowering thread to help us all get to happier days. Good luck to everyone. Books: Rebuilding When your Relationship Ends by Bruce Fisher (you do not need to be divorcing for this to be useful); Mind over Mood by Dennis Greenberger; Psycho-Cybernetics by Maxwell Maltz Website: www.alternaview.com
dragonwave Posted September 24, 2010 Posted September 24, 2010 Fantastic idea to share resources. I encourage many to get the book "psycho-cybernetics". Very positive and empowering read no matter what you are struggling with - there is a reason why it sold over 30 million copies. Many libraries carry it.
1/2moon Posted September 25, 2010 Posted September 25, 2010 Good idea. Surprised not more folks are sharing....there has to be more than pizza, ice cream and heaps of wine and beer to help us cope. C'mon folks.... My 13 year old niece shared with me her twilight series books. Great escape and I can say I am hooked. I would suggest the following site..... www.happiness-project.com The site offers great wisdom of the ages, no matter what your troubles are.
Cee Posted September 25, 2010 Posted September 25, 2010 I like this idea. I read Pema Chodron's When Things Fall Apart & liked it a lot. It's perspective is Buddhist, but it's very accessible to the lay person. I knew nothing about Buddhism and got a lot of comfort from it. Women Living Single is probably one of the best books written about the single life. I doubt it's still in print, but maybe Amazon has it. This book is about being happy single and is basically stories of a cross section of single women. I think men might like it too. I read the book 15 years ago & I still think about it. I liked Eat, Pray, Love. I found the narrator annoying and whiny, but I thought she did some gutsy things like living in an ashram in India.
Author YSS Posted October 5, 2010 Author Posted October 5, 2010 IPema Chodron's When Things Fall Apart & liked it a lot. QUOTE] Thank you all for your replies. Cee - I actually picked up "when things fall apart" at the library and it is a comforting read. It really does provide some insight to our fears and the unknown. I think it should be part of a "first-aid kit" for our souls...never know when you just might need it. 1/2moon - checked out the happiness project website. It too offer some interesting blogs and its very "positive" focused. Good pick me up for anyone needing some encouragement. From it I found the following passage that stuck with me....."what you do EVERYDAY matters more than what you do ONCE IN A WHILE". Good luck to you all. I hope the resources shared has helped.
schnitzel_noodles Posted October 5, 2010 Posted October 5, 2010 I've been looking to purchase It's A Breakup Because It's Broken by Greg Behrendt. He's the same guy that wrote He's Just Not That Into You. The reviews are really good and I'm hoping this will help me to move on.
alternaview - Sibyl Posted October 5, 2010 Posted October 5, 2010 Hi Everyone. I am new here as well and actually made my way here because YSS mentioned my site. Thanks YSS for listing the alternaview as one of your coping resources. It really means a lot to me. I was reading the thread and it sounds like you are all mentioning some great resources. Dealing with a breakup can definitely be challenging and the key for me was to understand and know deep down that there is always a light at the end of the tunnel, even if you can't really see it in the beginning. There is a healing process we have to go through and I agree with YSS that sometimes it is about reading things that point you in the right direction and to the truth you already know. I think it is about accepting whatever emotion it is you are managing through, but staying committed to working through it. What I do know for sure is that all things pass in time and although we may not initially be able to see it, all things are working for our benefit in one way or another. In the beginning, right after a breakup, that truth may not be all that comforting, but once we find our way there, we really will be stronger and better. We just have to continually choose to stay committed to the journey and finding our way to that truth. I know that this is what has worked the best for me in the past. Thanks again to YSS and I am glad I found my way to this forum.
Gdunkman Posted October 7, 2010 Posted October 7, 2010 Psycho-Cybernetics by Maxwell Maltz Somehow I can't take this book seriously. The mantra you can see on every page, at least at the beginning of the book, is "You are a loser, this book will make you a winner". Come on! I'm not a loser, my life is good, my only problem is that I lost my love, but I'm moving on!
Author YSS Posted October 7, 2010 Author Posted October 7, 2010 Somehow I can't take this book seriously. The mantra you can see on every page, at least at the beginning of the book, is "You are a loser, this book will make you a winner". Come on! I'm not a loser, my life is good, my only problem is that I lost my love, but I'm moving on! I feel differently about the book. For myself, the book did not have the mantra "you are a loser" rather it was about our individual beliefs that we hold. The book is written not for recovering from the loss of a love, rather from helping you to get whatever you so desire from life. hence, it popularity and success ranges from people in sports, sales, personal life and career. the premise is that how we view ourselves, what we think about ourselves ultimately either contributes or hinders our success in life. It helps to discover and unveil your self beliefs and turn them around to your favour. In that sense, I found it interesting and insightful. Again, different resources are of use to different folks. Good luck to you.
Gdunkman Posted October 8, 2010 Posted October 8, 2010 I feel differently about the book. For myself, the book did not have the mantra "you are a loser" rather it was about our individual beliefs that we hold. The book is written not for recovering from the loss of a love, rather from helping you to get whatever you so desire from life. hence, it popularity and success ranges from people in sports, sales, personal life and career. the premise is that how we view ourselves, what we think about ourselves ultimately either contributes or hinders our success in life. It helps to discover and unveil your self beliefs and turn them around to your favour. In that sense, I found it interesting and insightful. Again, different resources are of use to different folks. Good luck to you. I have to read all the book before making comments, it was just my reaction for the first few pages. Good luck to you too, YSS!
Author YSS Posted October 8, 2010 Author Posted October 8, 2010 A friend shared this site with me.....http://www.beliefnet.com While I am not religious per se, I do find the "inspiration" section to be useful. For anyone struggling with feelings of depression/hopelessness, there is a section for it under emotional health. Very good perspectives and insights. For those of faith, you will very much like this site. Came across the following saying today that I believe is something we should all consider taking some to think about as we are coping with our respective lossess and heartache......"the only thing we ever really need to perfect is our perspective". Good luck to all.
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