got to get out of this

[cocoroux]

i've been with my boyfriend for almost 4 years. We broke up several times during the relationship, each time for the same reasons and with the same circumstances for reuniting. He hasn't had a job for 3 years and has little intention of getting one. And when I say something about it, he fills out 2 or 3 online applications, but doesn't follow through. I eventually get caught up in how much fun we have together and just forget about all the things that matter. Until the money starts to be scarce and we might not be able to make our bills. My parents help out a lot and, as horrible as it sounds, they don't know he lives with me. When we broke up 2 years ago, I moved away and got an apartment which they help me pay for, and when we got back together he moved in and I never told them because they don't particularly care for him. This causes a lot of issues in our relationship too. He pulls me away from my family, using that "all we need is each other, everyone sucks" line because he hates his family. About 2 months ago I'd had enough of our one-sided relationship and tried to break up with him. He basically told me no and somehow convinced me to give him another chance because he's manipulative like that. I told him if he didn't get a job he would have to leave. I gave him 2 weeks to start, went on holiday with my family and when I came back I wanted to know that he was serious about changing and helping me out. When I came back, he'd started trying to turn a hobby into his career instead. He's very talented and it could probably work for him, and I was just so happy to be back from vacation, I was weak and completely forgot about my circumstances. So here we are down the road, having the same issues. This hobby has ended up costing me money and has taken up the entire entity that is our one bedroom apartment. And he hasn't finished inventory even though he has potential buyers waiting for him to finish. I know I am an enabler. I ask for things from him, and then I don't persist, so it just kinda goes away and I'm stuck getting screwed over. And I am trying to move away to go to real college, because I've been offered scholarships and am trying to get out of community college, and he's never ready to move. He hates every place I've been accepted to. And he's got me so stuck in this lifestyle and this idea that everyone else sucks. I've lost all my friends and can't make new ones because he gets jealous and needy. He's "at home all the time by himself while I'm out having fun" and it makes him sad. I want to kick him out but he has absolutely no money, no reliable car, no family to turn to and a very limited circle of mutual friends to help out. So do I ruin his life so I can get mine back on track? And how do I go about it so that I don't cave like I always do.

[brainblox]

I think you know what everybody will say, Get rid ! You make it sound like the only reason your with him is out of pity, that's no reason to stay with the guy and it's not fair on yourself. You two sound incompatible and your both pulling in opposite directions, If it's just about great sex then even that will fade before long with all the other stress ! Tell him what you wrote here to his face and maybe he will realize that he's a lucky bum !