sregi2 Posted September 24, 2010 Posted September 24, 2010 Ok so I was with this girl for like.. almost 2 months (not long I know..) and we recently broke up. She is the love of my life. We met over the internet, and we had been talking since 1st Jan 2010, we talked almost everyday so we know eachother quite well. We fell inlove. 1st time we met up it was amazing, wasn't awkward or anything and by the end of the day, we found eachother wrestling on the grass and throwing bits at eachother. She gave me a quick peck on the lips and then we hugged. (Just to fill you guys in) She broke up with me (her emotions took over) because I had been getting abit upset. About a week before we broke up, I had noticed she was talking different and wasn't as excited about me. I asked her if she felt the same and she said no, and thats why I had been getting worried and sad. We live an hour and 15 minutes away from eachother, and we would catch the train and meet up halfway (at a popular outdoors place). But since we couldn't see eachother every weekend because we both don't drive yet, she was abit busy on Saturday's for awhile so we hadn't seen eachother for 4 weeks (5 weeks today). She works on Sundays. She used to think the world of me. She would say how perfect I was to her and how I did things without her having to hint them. She really was inlove with me, as I am with her. Although we are still very young, we would talk about our future, and how we want to spend the rest of our lives with eachother. She even got to naming our babies. That night I was upset, she had explained in one paragraph why she wanted to breakup. She told me that things are getting too much for her a the moment, and that I get jealous of her guy friends. She said for now she just wants to be alone and single, but will always love me (I'm assuming friendship wise), and that I make her feel trapped because I always want to see her and that I'd get upset otherwise. She also told me that she doesn't think she's ready for this, that I'm so perfect to her but she can't take the distance (the 4 weeks stuffed us up). She also mentioned that when we 1st started talking I was funny etc and I was always there for her, but now all I remind(ed) her of is how much I love(d) her and how I would want to spend my life with her, and that she wants a break, that she's over realtionships and love. - She doesn't want to talk about it again untill she's ready. (- I reckon if we saw eachother instead of letting that 4 weeks creep up, we would still be madly inlove with eachother, and she wouldn't of lost feelings for me) I need help on how to get her back. We talked more after what she needed to say, and she had her mind made up. (she was upset aswell. I spose it was the emotions talking). She wants to be on a break, and needs space. And she will come back to me when she is better and have a better think about what she wants to do. Right now, I want to know what I should do, to make her want to get back with me again. I sent her a letter about all the issues she brang up in her paragraph thing, just explaining why I was like that, and that I will always be here for her, and that I still love her and all (not getting too lovey dovey). Basicly just being understanding of why she wants a break, that I'm not trying to persuade her on her decision, but to just consider everything. (I would like to show it to help with my advice, but I don't know how open I can be with this). She told me she smiled at it and saved it. I need her to miss me, but I don't know how. Since we both talk to eachother on msn alot (or we did), I think I shouldn't be on much so she cant talk me, and gives her time to miss me. I definatly need to give her her space, but I'm not sure how much I should talk to her when I am on. And if I should start talking to her 1st, and how often. Like say if I'm on for 30 minutes or so, talk to her that whole time then get off. Or if I should talk to her for like 10 minutes of that, and then say goodbye when I get off, but I dont want her to get over me. And I also don't know how happy I should act, because again, I don't want her to think we are better off as friends or anything. I dont know what's best to make her miss me and want me back. I have thought about all the effort I'm going through to get her back, and honestly, if I get her back, it would of all been worth it. We were inlove, and I know I can make her happy again if we get back together. I'm going crazy. She would text me and ask why I wasn't online when we were still together, or where I was, and now she doesn't text at all (I guess cause the 'break'). It's so hard to not tell her I'm madly inlove with her and text her all the time. She is the only one I have ever truly been inlove with. My life has changed so much right now.. all I want is her. I know we are so young, I'm never going to give up on this girl. And I'm going to do everything I can to never push her away. I just need awesome advice ): So I ask you guys for advice, and I'm sorry I wrote so much, I want you guys to get a good idea of how she is so I can make the right moves. P.S, the day after we broke up, she said she thinks she misses me.
Author sregi2 Posted October 1, 2010 Author Posted October 1, 2010 Anyways, so I got talking with her today (after a week or so of not much contact), it all went good. She asked me if I still love her. I replied Yes. She then asked if it was the same as when we 1st got together, and I replied that my feelings haven't changed. She said ok, and after some hesitation, I asked how she felt about me. She told me she still likes me, but doesn't want to be in a relationship with anyone right now (Everything was getting to her. Stress, she deals with other peoples lives more then herselves, so she couldn't deal with her relationship - again it adds up and builds more stress). After we got the how eachother feels part out of the way, we talked quite alot and found ourselves on webcam (Nothing naughty, and we would be on it all day talking to eachother(before we got together and while we were together). And she asked to see me (on it) this time). Just about random stuff basicly, found we have a few passed (when we were younger) things in common. So, how do I keep her interested? without her thinking we are better off as friends? How much should I talk with her on Messenger? How often should I be available for her to be able to talk with me? When she decides she wants to see me again, how should I act in person?
Trovador Posted October 1, 2010 Posted October 1, 2010 You worry too much... either she loves you or not... if she does, that doesn't mean necessarily that she wants you in her life, contradictory as that may seem... Girls seems to be more adept at diferentiating (or separating) her feelings from her interests, specially after a couple of months into a relationship... If she doesn't love you, nothing you do will make her change her heart... so, take things easy, go natural, live your life, stop planning and don't be clingy or needy... Respect her wishes of being alone... maybe she does need some time to think things over and you could ruin it by pestering her with incesant contact... Above all, worry less about her and more about you... you come first, man and you will be ok...
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