haveyopick1 Posted September 24, 2010 Posted September 24, 2010 Met this woman but she said she was seeing a guy. Yet she seemed very into me. She agreed to meet me the other night though ALONE at a pub, and I thought things went very well. Nothing awkward and the night flew by. So I ask for a 2nd "date" if you will but she says she has to work late tonight, but she's DEFINETELY going out with her girlfriend next Friday and wants to know if I can make it? Ugh. Never easy is it? I'd like to believe she may just be a bit nervous, yet interested in me, but the reality is she has probably placed me in the dreaded friendzone. I have no problem talking with her and wouldnt mind being her friend. But I just hate the idea of being "2nd best". I guess its an ego thing. I am conflicted. If I say no that probably ends the friendship (and the slim chance of romantic conection). If I say yes, it makes me look like a weakling who will agree to any stupid terms she throws at me. Whats a fair compromise here? HELP!!
LucreziaBorgia Posted September 24, 2010 Posted September 24, 2010 She wants to bring her friend on 2nd date, what should my reply be? Honestly, she may have seemed into you but between the "I'm seeing someone" and the "can I bring a friend" I'd say you have been given the 'friendship' kiss of death. If you want to be just friends, go and have a good time. If you want more, you may want to consider a polite 'thanks but no thanks' and lose her number.
Author haveyopick1 Posted September 24, 2010 Author Posted September 24, 2010 Honestly, she may have seemed into you but between the "I'm seeing someone" and the "can I bring a friend" I'd say you have been given the 'friendship' kiss of death. If you want to be just friends, go and have a good time. If you want more, you may want to consider a polite 'thanks but no thanks' and lose her number. Somehow I get the feeling if a guy she was really "into" came along her "boyfriend" would magically disappear and she'd be alone with that guy in a flash. I think you're right. I'll just have to say "no thanks".
jerbear Posted September 24, 2010 Posted September 24, 2010 I'll ask who is the friend. It might be the BF, GF, or girl friend.
Author haveyopick1 Posted September 24, 2010 Author Posted September 24, 2010 I'll ask who is the friend. It might be the BF, GF, or girl friend. It's her unattractive friend who (surprise surprise) likes me a lot.
Cee Posted September 24, 2010 Posted September 24, 2010 It's her unattractive friend who (surprise surprise) likes me a lot. Oh wow, this story is getting worse and worse. She's doing the bait and switch. No way would I go. Did this woman really think she could get away with this?
TigerCub Posted September 24, 2010 Posted September 24, 2010 I was going to suggest that you just tell her "Thanks for the invite, but I don't want to crash girl's night - lets try for another night" (that way, you wouldn't be going, and it would show that you're a guy that's def. cool about the girl doing her own thing with her girls) but then I saw that she may be trying to hook u up with her friend. so now you have 2 choices, you can totally just say no and not talk to her again. or you could still go with my suggestion above - and if she really is interested in you, she'll set up a date with you. you got nothing to lose - just don't go to the girl's night!!
jerbear Posted September 24, 2010 Posted September 24, 2010 I like tigercubs post better. I would have suggested no to girls night out and contact her afterwards to reschedule. Another thing, you might get a threesome out of this.
ConflictedGuy27 Posted September 24, 2010 Posted September 24, 2010 I to agree with Tigercub's 2 cents. and you probably know this, but don't EVER do a girls night and be the only guy... tell her you don't want to crash and say you're down to get together later. that's the smart play. no need to blow her off this early when you have nothing to lose. slow play it.
Cee Posted September 24, 2010 Posted September 24, 2010 I was wrong. I take back my original suggestion of blowing her off completely. Tigercub's options are a better solution, imo.
dispatch3d Posted September 24, 2010 Posted September 24, 2010 bail on this. She's not satisfied with a free meal for just herself, so is bringing her "friend along". Second option is the friend will soon get an illness so she "cannot attend" shucks. I would just bail. Say if she's actually interested in going out on a date again to let you know. (ie. this is over! )
Lemontang Posted September 24, 2010 Posted September 24, 2010 I think everyone's missing the the key point here. It's really simple just ask "So who wants the ribbed and who wants the studded?" But seriously yes I'd go Tigers. Alternatively just avoid it completely and say you now have other plans (work function etc...) and see if she want to reschedule.
Fire Salamander Posted September 27, 2010 Posted September 27, 2010 Tell her great! It'll be like one of those dating shows? Who's first? Then you grab the one you like and isolate her. Personally I'd never agree to a date when she brings someone else. Don't waste your time.
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