kis Posted September 24, 2010 Posted September 24, 2010 My husband spends alot of time on the computor. I have known for a while that he has a habit of looking at online dating and hookup sites from looking at the history. I have never said anything because i fugure he is just curious. He has had affiars in the past but i cant picture him hooking up with some stranger on line. Anyway lately i have looked at the history closer. Not only is he looking at ads from women but MEN and transexuals too. I dont know what to make of this. I dont know what to think. Everyday this week he has looked at these type of ads??? What do you think it means.
Iconoclast Posted September 24, 2010 Posted September 24, 2010 (edited) I do that all the time. It's just interesting. Guess i'm secretly hoping I see someone I know. That'd be a surprise. But with me I have no interest in contacting any of these people. I have never had an affair and have no interest in one. So the question is, is he attempting to contact these people? Or just basically looking at car wrecks and not wanting anyone to see you doing it cause they'll think you're morbid. Wait...hold on, for some reason I was thinking Craigslist when I read your post. Dating sites are a bit different as you usually have to join. Could still be curiosity, put a keylogger on the computer. Edited September 24, 2010 by Iconoclast
FanFan Posted September 24, 2010 Posted September 24, 2010 My husband spends alot of time on the computor. I have known for a while that he has a habit of looking at online dating and hookup sites from looking at the history. I have never said anything because i fugure he is just curious. He has had affiars in the past but i cant picture him hooking up with some stranger on line. Anyway lately i have looked at the history closer. Not only is he looking at ads from women but MEN and transexuals too. I dont know what to make of this. I dont know what to think. Everyday this week he has looked at these type of ads??? What do you think it means. What consequences did he suffer from his cheating? What lessons has he learned from his cheating experience? Obviously not much since you're still married to him. If the opportunity is right, he is likely to cheat again, and again, and again.
GorillaTheater Posted September 24, 2010 Posted September 24, 2010 What consequences did he suffer from his cheating? What lessons has he learned from his cheating experience? Obviously not much since you're still married to him. If the opportunity is right, he is likely to cheat again, and again, and again. I'm not sure that Kis has sufficient "moral authority" to complain about any further cheating.
YellowShark Posted September 24, 2010 Posted September 24, 2010 I have known for a while that he has a habit of looking at online dating and hookup sites from looking at the history. For me that is HUGE red flag. You should not be looking at online dating sites if you are married. That means he is fantasizing about hooking up with someone else. Bottom line. He has had affiars in the past but i cant picture him hooking up with some stranger on line. If he has had affairs in the past then looking at online dating sites is a warning to you that he is fantasizing about hooking up with someone else. Anyway lately i have looked at the history closer. Not only is he looking at ads from women but MEN and transexuals too....What do you think it means. I'm a man, and I NEVER EVER look at ads for MEN and transexuals. That is another huge red flag. He is obviously bi-curios, or even gay and hasn't come out of the closet yet. I would say to you kis that you need to speak with your husband and ask him point blank why he is A) looking at online dating sites, and B) looking at ads for MEN and transexuals. To me it seems like you've have a couple red flags that you need to deal with immediately before it goes too far.. and your marriage fails from infidelity. Best of luck. p.s. Don't let him "gaslight" you into believing that trolling dating sites and viewing ads for MEN and transexuals is "normal" behaviour for a married man. It is not normal at all.
kuma Posted September 24, 2010 Posted September 24, 2010 (edited) My husband spends alot of time on the computor. I have known for a while that he has a habit of looking at online dating and hookup sites from looking at the history. I have never said anything because i fugure he is just curious. He has had affiars in the past but i cant picture him hooking up with some stranger on line. Anyway lately i have looked at the history closer. Not only is he looking at ads from women but MEN and transexuals too. I dont know what to make of this. I dont know what to think. Everyday this week he has looked at these type of ads??? What do you think it means. Maybe your husband is bi-curious. You should ask him. Edited September 24, 2010 by kuma
aerogurl87 Posted September 24, 2010 Posted September 24, 2010 He's had affairs in the past, is looking at dating sites, and you don't see this man being able to meet anyone online to get his rocks off? Am I the only one who sees something wrong with this picture? If he cheated on you once, then the odds are he'll do it again and even if he doesn't I wouldn't bet on him being 100% committed to you in his heart.
painfullyobvious Posted September 25, 2010 Posted September 25, 2010 Be open and ask him about. Tell him your concerns and communicate them to him without being judgemental
whichwayisup Posted September 26, 2010 Posted September 26, 2010 I'm not sure that Kis has sufficient "moral authority" to complain about any further cheating. Don't you think it's time you and your husband sit down and talk? Lay EVERYTHING out on the table. Two wrongs do not make a right! YOU BOTH have cheated and you are having an affair with a MM right now. Don't you think it's possible that he knows and doesn't care that you're cheating on him, so he is taking matters into his own hands, so to speak? Do you love your husband? Does he love you? Or are you both hanging onto the familiar aspects of eachother, enjoying the benefits of marriage without any real connection? Your posts are all over the place and I hate to say it, but when you post these types of threads, (not only here, but in other sections too) you leave out sooo much information. Your H isn't the only issue here. You are too.
Author kis Posted September 26, 2010 Author Posted September 26, 2010 What consequences did he suffer from his cheating? What lessons has he learned from his cheating experience? Obviously not much since you're still married to him. If the opportunity is right, he is likely to cheat again, and again, and again. We divorced and remarried after he promised it would never happen again. It did. Just didnt want to put our kids or myself thru all that pain and turmoil again.
pureinheart Posted September 26, 2010 Posted September 26, 2010 For me that is HUGE red flag. You should not be looking at online dating sites if you are married. That means he is fantasizing about hooking up with someone else. Bottom line. If he has had affairs in the past then looking at online dating sites is a warning to you that he is fantasizing about hooking up with someone else. I'm a man, and I NEVER EVER look at ads for MEN and transexuals. That is another huge red flag. He is obviously bi-curios, or even gay and hasn't come out of the closet yet. I would say to you kis that you need to speak with your husband and ask him point blank why he is A) looking at online dating sites, and B) looking at ads for MEN and transexuals. To me it seems like you've have a couple red flags that you need to deal with immediately before it goes too far.. and your marriage fails from infidelity. Best of luck. p.s. Don't let him "gaslight" you into believing that trolling dating sites and viewing ads for MEN and transexuals is "normal" behaviour for a married man. It is not normal at all. YS, this is right on the money, I was shocked that most blow off such major red flags...wow... OP, I would consider going for some IC and possibly bailing as this is way not good.
FanFan Posted September 26, 2010 Posted September 26, 2010 We divorced and remarried after he promised it would never happen again. It did. Just didnt want to put our kids or myself thru all that pain and turmoil again. Now, he knows that if he cheats, got caught, you will forgive him again after some oral promises from him. Worst case scenario, you will divorce him, but he can get you back again. So, he knows he can continue to cheat and still have you no matter what.
whichwayisup Posted September 27, 2010 Posted September 27, 2010 We divorced and remarried after he promised it would never happen again. It did. Just didnt want to put our kids or myself thru all that pain and turmoil again. Then why are you having an affair with a MM right now? I assume you have me on ignore since you've never once replied to any of my questions to you..
alexlakeman Posted September 30, 2010 Posted September 30, 2010 OP... Your hubby ... does he help cleaning around the house? Does he wash dishes? Does he make the bed? Is he neat? Does he vacuum? If you answered yes to any of those questions PLUS he is checking out man ads or transvestite ads online... he's a fagot... run go get a divorce.. you are not satisfying him...he likes johnsons better:love:
Recommended Posts