HawksRule Posted September 24, 2010 Posted September 24, 2010 So this is more of an update. So girlfriend/fiancee and I appear to be doing better after 1-2 months of her being unsure of wanting to be in a relationship anymore. Her family is still living with us for the next few days. Good Signs: - She seems happier in general, she's taken on more of can do approach to life, she loves finally having her own car, and I've been doing my best to be the man she fell in love with. - Seems like she does enjoy my presence and actually wants to be around me more often asking me what we're doing for lunch/dinner, wanting me to go with her on her afternoon runs, we're going to attempt to go out again this weekend (where as before she didn't want to even try going out with me). -Last week although I kind of guilt tripped her into taking me out with her which she was not happy about. When we finally went out, she actually had fun dancing with me and hanging out with me. She also finally introduced me to one of her new guy friends that previously she wasn't sure when she would ever introduce me to him. (no I'm not worried he's trying to steal her from me or that she has feelings for him). -Still sleep in same bed, and wants me to cuddle her, or if I sleep the other way, I find her cuddling me. -There is still a lot of kissing (in public and behind closed doors) -She actually did ask about counseling again, so it did seem like she's interested instead of being pulled against her will. -There has been a few times of intimacy we've had (mainly when we finally got an empty house), and in one case I was able to get her to climax. -Every now and then she does tell me that she loves me. -Every now and then she is wearing her engagement ring. -Despite the lack of intimacy (in comparison to how we used to be), she still is excited to buy/show off new sexy outfits/costumes for me. Bad: - The other day, she told me that she still has unsure feelings and the want for an independent single life. This one is hard to determine, because the want is still there, but she didn't tell me if it's stronger or less, just that it's still there. - In the 4 times we've been intimate in the last 2-3 weeks. 2 times she seemed like and even told me she wasn't into it at all. - The last few times she's told me she loved me, it was prior to her falling asleep, she didn't really remember it in the morning. -She's still pretty hard on herself about her physical body, whenever I tell her I think she's beautiful, she smiles, but I can tell she still doesn't believe me. -She's still very distant at times emotionally and physically. I sometimes worry that although things between us may seem better, I wonder if I'm slowly being seen as her as a "friend" and not her significant other. -When I do nice things for her, sometimes she feels more guilty about it, than actually happy. Now that I look at the list, I wonder if I'm just being impatient and reading too much into some of the negatives. I think the thing is when she told me she still has that want for the single life, it hit me pretty hard and had me second guessing any of our progress as well as my actions and words. But yeah just seeking an outside perspective. Hopefully one that tells me to just chill out and keep it up. Thanks. p.s. As for the counseling thing, I'm still on the fence for it. I know it can really help, but at the same time I can help but feel worried it could destroy us too. Or maybe that's not the correct view on it.
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