9Lives Posted September 23, 2010 Posted September 23, 2010 far as I'm concerned..enough is enough..but for some reason I still miss him a lot. the sad part is that HE should be missing me since i was the one who treated him like gold. I should be glad he is gone but I'm not. I still wanted it to work and believed it could. but its over! how long did it take u to STOP missing someone who ended the relationship? it has been 2 months now..ugh!
Don Ho Posted September 23, 2010 Posted September 23, 2010 At this point, by choosing not to focus on it and get really busy with your life.
Author 9Lives Posted September 24, 2010 Author Posted September 24, 2010 At this point, by choosing not to focus on it and get really busy with your life. dude! I'm dating, I'm living my life, I'm doing everything I'm suppose to do. its not like I'm doing it on purpose. I'm trying to move on. there just times when he is all over my brain and emotions. AGAIN,,,,for those who have been left by someone you love, how ong did it take to get over missing them
brainblox Posted September 24, 2010 Posted September 24, 2010 There is no time limit on missing your ex, Don't force it by trying to bottle up feelings...won't work ! It's been months for me and I'm still having moments when I remember little things she said and things we did but now it feels okay and the anxiety is all but gone, thank F**k lol. Like the Don said...Try to keep busy and you will see it gets easier.
Cee Posted September 24, 2010 Posted September 24, 2010 I still miss my ex and it's been ten years. But I think about for him maybe 5 minutes a month. I devoted my five minutes just now. He was the great love of my life. When it ended, I was in agony for months and months. Actually, I was in denial first. Then, agony. It's been harder getting over the death of my Dad. It's been 20 years and I still cry over it. But missing my Dad is bearable. I like to think my dad's spirit is alive. Time really does heal the pain. Don't be afraid to grieve. Grieving helps you heal.
pandagirl Posted September 24, 2010 Posted September 24, 2010 dude! I'm dating, I'm living my life, I'm doing everything I'm suppose to do. its not like I'm doing it on purpose. I'm trying to move on. there just times when he is all over my brain and emotions. AGAIN,,,,for those who have been left by someone you love, how ong did it take to get over missing them I think missing someone is human and natural. The point is not to let it consume you or affect you negatively. Isn't it normal to miss someone that was an important part of your life? I think we'll all get to the point when the memories and missing him will be nothing more than a bittersweet passing thought.
skydiveaddict Posted September 24, 2010 Posted September 24, 2010 far as I'm concerned..enough is enough..but for some reason I still miss him a lot. the sad part is that HE should be missing me since i was the one who treated him like gold. I should be glad he is gone but I'm not. I still wanted it to work and believed it could. but its over! how long did it take u to STOP missing someone who ended the relationship? it has been 2 months now..ugh! Two months is nothing. No one knows how long it takes a broken heart to heal. I'm still waiting too
Trovador Posted September 24, 2010 Posted September 24, 2010 Really missing her? A few days... forgetting about her, that is wanting her, a bit more... stop thinking of her, that still hasn't happened but I'm going there... I think it's easier when you don't see your ex at all or who knows for sure. On second thought, having to see her almost every day I think helped me a lot... But by calling "luxury" the absence of your ex in your feelings I think you are reinforcing the relative importance your ex had in your life... I actually am glad I got rid of her and pity the sap who'll have to live with her ha ha...
Author 9Lives Posted September 24, 2010 Author Posted September 24, 2010 well I have been in different relationships but seems like this one has been the hardest to get over. even my husband was easy to move on from. this guy here I saw as my future with a lot of love and fun. I think that is why its been harder. don't get me wrong, I'm dating and stuff but I'm just still trying to get over him. I try not to think about him or miss him but sometimes it just comes on me. I miss his love when it was good.
Caradavine Posted September 24, 2010 Posted September 24, 2010 Liken it to a death of someone close to you. It differs for everyone, but the grieving process must first be completed, and then there is the acceptance period that still entails the missing factor. I know it took me almost a year to get where I was "okay" after my first husband left, and it took a good few years to get where I could even open myself up again. However, as stated earlier, it is different for each person. I asked my current ex what I'm supposed to do while we are separate and I'm all alone, and he said for me to do things to keep busy, so there you have it. So far, for me, I'm doing that, but my brain is still working and my heart still feels, so I'm not really buying it yet.
summerl0vesyou Posted September 24, 2010 Posted September 24, 2010 far as I'm concerned..enough is enough..but for some reason I still miss him a lot. the sad part is that HE should be missing me since i was the one who treated him like gold. I should be glad he is gone but I'm not. I still wanted it to work and believed it could. but its over! how long did it take u to STOP missing someone who ended the relationship? it has been 2 months now..ugh! Im soo with you, 9lives. I wish I could stop missing him. he couldnt care less about me, but i still cry about him. I gave him love for the first time he ever felt truly understood and loved, and how does he repay me? seriously. in the past, its taken me at least double the time I dated the person to get over them. ive never followed the "half time" rule...God do i wish i did! *HUGS* i know its hard. take care
Am4Real Posted September 24, 2010 Posted September 24, 2010 well I have been in different relationships but seems like this one has been the hardest to get over. even my husband was easy to move on from. this guy here I saw as my future with a lot of love and fun. I think that is why its been harder. don't get me wrong, I'm dating and stuff but I'm just still trying to get over him. I try not to think about him or miss him but sometimes it just comes on me. I miss his love when it was good. Dear 9, I have not scanned previous threads to determine where you are in your healing process nor am I aware how you’ve chosen to manage your life going forward since this relationship ended. Therefore it will be hard to totally answer your question from my experiences. I will say that I agree with other posters in that many of us are different when it comes to the amount of time and how much time in the day is devoted to former relationship memories. I personally believe how we handle a breakup and manage the consuming type of memories are based on how deeply entrenched the relationship was in our soul or better said, our inner being. For example: A person who has been pulling out of an existing relationship over a long period of time may heal or be less consumed in memory than a person who receives the breakup news with little warning and is hit with an instant blast of suffering. I find a diary or journal to be a very effective technique. Without journalizing your emotions I notice we tend to keep going over and over the same exact thoughts. Have you noticed that? When I journalize my emotions and thinking I can see differences as the days progress. In the past I will wait until day six of the weekly journal has been documented before going back and reading all of my daily entries from that week before the start of day seven. Seemingly all of a sudden it affects how I feel on day seven. Many times my day sevens start off as a mini revelation or realization. I then go into the next week somewhat ahead of the previous week. I even go back further in my weekly review as the journal takes on form and dimension. All being said you are less likely to keep going over the same memories in your head…again and again and again….if you try a systematic method for progressing. It might be worth a try for you. Hope this helps. Best wishes.
Am4Real Posted September 24, 2010 Posted September 24, 2010 ive never followed the "half time" rule...God do i wish i did! Help me here...what is the "half time rule"?
Rellek Posted September 24, 2010 Posted September 24, 2010 Help me here...what is the "half time rule"? It means that it roughly takes half the time the relationship lasted to get over it.
Author 9Lives Posted September 24, 2010 Author Posted September 24, 2010 Im soo with you, 9lives. I wish I could stop missing him. he couldnt care less about me, but i still cry about him. I gave him love for the first time he ever felt truly understood and loved, and how does he repay me? seriously. in the past, its taken me at least double the time I dated the person to get over them. ive never followed the "half time" rule...God do i wish i did! *HUGS* i know its hard. take care Yep, thats me. I just want to put it behind me. These memories aint doing me no good
Sonolumino Posted September 24, 2010 Posted September 24, 2010 If it takes roughly half the time it last to feel normal again, then I'm not going to be loving these next 2 years. I think it will happen before then. My bitch of an ex has already moved on, it's my turn.
Am4Real Posted September 24, 2010 Posted September 24, 2010 It means that it roughly takes half the time the relationship lasted to get over it. Gotch'ya...thanks.
summerl0vesyou Posted September 25, 2010 Posted September 25, 2010 Help me here...what is the "half time rule"? lol. I couldnt think of the wording at the moment. but havent you heard of people saying, "it should only take half the time that you dated someone in order to get over them"? thats what that is. Taking half the time you dated them in order to be over it.
summerl0vesyou Posted September 25, 2010 Posted September 25, 2010 If it takes roughly half the time it last to feel normal again, then I'm not going to be loving these next 2 years. I think it will happen before then. My bitch of an ex has already moved on, it's my turn. I think its more or less considered the maximum O.o as in, you are a freak of nature and you have no right to be sad when it goes over half of the time...I mean seriously, people really do look at you like you have 3 eyes if you arent over someone and its over that halfway mark, especially if its longer than you dated. and good luck that bitch! lol.
TearsofHope Posted September 25, 2010 Posted September 25, 2010 its been 2 months and 1 week as of today since the breakup. I know this earlier I was feeling a little bit okay with the fact of letting things go. But now its 2:35am and I am missing him like crazy. This man hurt me so bad for no reason and he knows it too, and all my mind right now at this moment is just thinking if hes with some other girl having a good time, kissing and laughing, while I am sitting at home on a friday night alone. The thoughts are consuming my time at night I noticed. Only at night when I think of him to the point where I feel like looking at my window hoping he'll be there. It's just getting so pathetic now :*( plus this guy did me so wronggg on all levels, dunno why I miss him right now.
Am4Real Posted September 25, 2010 Posted September 25, 2010 lol. I couldnt think of the wording at the moment. but havent you heard of people saying, "it should only take half the time that you dated someone in order to get over them"? thats what that is. Taking half the time you dated them in order to be over it. I think I am the only "fool" on this forum who has not heard of it. Hey, learned something new! I have an EX who I went NC with over four years ago. She sends me a message on about a 12 week cycle ever since telling me she thinks of me everyday always hoping for a reunion. Four years? What were you saying about 3 eyes again... its been 2 months and 1 week as of today since the breakup. I know this earlier I was feeling a little bit okay with the fact of letting things go. But now its 2:35am and I am missing him like crazy. This man hurt me so bad for no reason and he knows it too, and all my mind right now at this moment is just thinking if hes with some other girl having a good time, kissing and laughing, while I am sitting at home on a friday night alone. The thoughts are consuming my time at night I noticed. Only at night when I think of him to the point where I feel like looking at my window hoping he'll be there. It's just getting so pathetic now :*( plus this guy did me so wronggg on all levels, dunno why I miss him right now. It happens to us all. Those middle of the night wake up with him/her on your mind. You process whatever thoughts there are and suddenly your chest, deep within, aches with pain. Sound about right? I know, we know, hang tough we're all here for each other.
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