Dealing with demotivation

[Honorable_Venerable]

Fitness is important, valuable and has long-term benefits, but...

Exercise is boring, repetitious, dull, miserable scut-work.

 

How do people resolve these two, and hence stay motivated?

 

How do you deal with the fact that exercise-derived improvements are small (often vanishingly small, and bitterly hard-won) and incremental, and so difficult to "sell" to oneself as progress? How do you counter the fact that exercise, especially cardio, simply leeches away time? How do you deal with the fact that it never changes?

 

For the record, I destest all and every team sport, and can't run due to a knee that was ruined in a car accident. I force myself to swim and cycle but I gain roughly the same level of enjoyment I get from (equally necessary) visits to the dentist, and vastly less than taking a dump.

 

I don't and never have, achieved any sort of "feel good" after exercise or a workout (I just feel knackered, sweaty and irritable), it does nothing to lift my mood, and certainly doesn't raise my energy levels - in fact quite the opposite.

I've come to the conclusion that these statements that exercise raises your mood and energy level are just so much hooey for the gullible, and a way of trying to disguise something innately unpleasant and dull, but necessary.

Any suggestions?

[Rorschach]

If you never see/feel results you will never feel good about excerising or dieting for that matter.

 

Once you have started to notice big results (for me it took about 2 months of hard ass work to get noticeable results) it becomes very rewarding to go to the gym. Every day you go you can feel that you're getting that much closer to the ultimate goal and you feel better for doing it.

 

Until then it sucks.

 

This is why most people are not in shape (and I don't mean fat, even thin people can be out of shape) and most will never be in shape. It's a rare breed that can stand up and say 'yes I will work my ass off for a good long while with nothing to show for it but lost time and body sweat, so that down the road someday I can look and feel better'.

 

Exercise is not a road for instant gratification and nothing will ever make it like that. As for how to get over the hump until exercise makes a noticeable difference and becomes fun thats all up to you. The harder you work at it the faster it will go, you can work out a tiny little bit a week for 5 years and never get results, or you can haul ass for a month and get results. Up to you how fast/hard you want to go at it.

 

As for the bit about the 'feel good' just being for gullible people I find that to be a woefully inaccurate statement as everyday I go to the gym I feel worlds better than the days that I don't.

[tman666]

You have three options:

 

1) Quit exercising all together as it seems to cause you so much hardship

 

2) Keep begrudgingly doing what you do, all in the name of longevity

 

3) Stop whining and do what you are able to do and try and push yourself

 

Hard training is not about instant gratification. Gains and improvements take a long time, a lot of work, and consistency. If it was the kind of thing that yielded fast, easy to obtain results, don't you think that everyone would be ripped, strong, and sexy? It's just like anything else in life. You'll get out of it what you put into it.

 

I hate posts like this. You sound like the kind of person that likes making excuses. "Oh, I have a bad knee, plus I enjoy crapping more than exercise. It's such dull, repetitive torture."

 

Boo f-ing hoo.

[Rorschach]

You have three options:

 

1) Quit exercising all together as it seems to cause you so much hardship

 

2) Keep begrudgingly doing what you do, all in the name of longevity

 

3) Stop whining and do what you are able to do and try and push yourself

 

Hard training is not about instant gratification. Gains and improvements take a long time, a lot of work, and consistency. If it was the kind of thing that yielded fast, easy to obtain results, don't you think that everyone would be ripped, strong, and sexy? It's just like anything else in life. You'll get out of it what you put into it.

 

I hate posts like this. You sound like the kind of person that likes making excuses. "Oh, I have a bad knee, plus I enjoy crapping more than exercise. It's such dull, repetitive torture."

 

Boo f-ing hoo.

 

Remember that thread that was here a few months ago about the lady who just made all these excuses for why she was fat and couldn't exercise and how the whole world was to blame, but when it came down to it she ate 3 porkchops with gravy for every meal?

[tman666]

Remember that thread that was here a few months ago about the lady who just made all these excuses for why she was fat and couldn't exercise and how the whole world was to blame, but when it came down to it she ate 3 porkchops with gravy for every meal?

 

Unfortunately, yeah, I remember it all too well. It went on for like 20 pages filled with all sorts of people coming out the woodwork to try and help her. All she could do was make an excuse for everything.

 

That had to be a troll. I'm hoping that she was a troll...

[Honorable_Venerable]

You have three options:

 

1) Quit exercising all together as it seems to cause you so much hardship

 

2) Keep begrudgingly doing what you do, all in the name of longevity

 

3) Stop whining and do what you are able to do and try and push yourself

 

Hard training is not about instant gratification. Gains and improvements take a long time, a lot of work, and consistency. If it was the kind of thing that yielded fast, easy to obtain results, don't you think that everyone would be ripped, strong, and sexy? It's just like anything else in life. You'll get out of it what you put into it.

 

I hate posts like this. You sound like the kind of person that likes making excuses. "Oh, I have a bad knee, plus I enjoy crapping more than exercise. It's such dull, repetitive torture."

 

Boo f-ing hoo.

Thank you for your support. When you've had one leg repaired with a box of screws and three operations and a good day is one when you walk without a stick, I'll take more notice. In the mean time, try not to assume that everyone is as shallow as you.

[tman666]

Thank you for your support. When you've had one leg repaired with a box of screws and three operations and a good day is one when you walk without a stick, I'll take more notice. In the mean time, try not to assume that everyone is as shallow as you.

 

I never said that you had to obtain a certain level of fitness or be able to do certain things. What I'm talking about is your attitude. So you can't run or probably squat. For general health purposes, this shouldn't necessarily stop you.

 

What can you do? Why not try and improve those things?

 

I'm sure you'll come up with some good reason why you can't strive to improve.

[Rorschach]

Thank you for your support. When you've had one leg repaired with a box of screws and three operations and a good day is one when you walk without a stick, I'll take more notice. In the mean time, try not to assume that everyone is as shallow as you.

 

Sorry dude but you aren't the only one with hardships, I've lost almost 90 pounds now, I'm blind in one eye, and I have to afford doctor visits every year or so when I make about 1200 a month as it stands now.

 

You can either make excuses or you can make progress but you cant make both.

[tman666]

You can either make excuses or you can make progress but you cant make both.

 

I'm stealing this quote, fyi.

[Honorable_Venerable]

If you never see/feel results you will never feel good about excerising or dieting for that matter.

 

Once you have started to notice big results (for me it took about 2 months of hard ass work to get noticeable results) it becomes very rewarding to go to the gym. Every day you go you can feel that you're getting that much closer to the ultimate goal and you feel better for doing it.

 

Thanks - this is helpful - my ultimate goal (I suppose) is "be fit", which is pretty bloody nebulous. Is that part of the problem - in your opinion? Setting a goal might help, but in terms of (e.g.) distances run etc, I don't have one. The idea of hopping and hobbling round some race course just seems so pointless just to say "I did it".

Until then it sucks.

Never was anything truer said!

 

This is why most people are not in shape (and I don't mean fat, even thin people can be out of shape) and most will never be in shape. It's a rare breed that can stand up and say 'yes I will work my ass off for a good long while with nothing to show for it but lost time and body sweat, so that down the road someday I can look and feel better'.

 

Exercise is not a road for instant gratification and nothing will ever make it like that. As for how to get over the hump until exercise makes a noticeable difference and becomes fun thats all up to you. The harder you work at it the faster it will go, you can work out a tiny little bit a week for 5 years and never get results, or you can haul ass for a month and get results. Up to you how fast/hard you want to go at it.

 

How do YOU set your targets, and if they just seem never to get any closer, how do you stay focussed, other than blind stubbornness (no offence, I just can't think of a better descriptor)?

 

As for the bit about the 'feel good' just being for gullible people I find that to be a woefully inaccurate statement as everyday I go to the gym I feel worlds better than the days that I don't.

Here we will have to differ - I exercise and feel, as Monty Python put it "tired and shagged out". I don't exercise and other than a twinge of guilt, I don't feel anything. I don't get an "endorphin rush" (or if I do it's so piss-weak you couldn't detect it with a microscope!), a burst of energy, anything like that. It doesn't lift my mood. I've tried running (back when I could), gym / exercise, plus swimming and cycling, and none of them give me any sort of physical "kick".

[Honorable_Venerable]

I never said that you had to obtain a certain level of fitness or be able to do certain things. What I'm talking about is your attitude. So you can't run or probably squat. For general health purposes, this shouldn't necessarily stop you.

 

What can you do? Why not try and improve those things?

 

I'm sure you'll come up with some good reason why you can't strive to improve.

I won't ask if you're hard of reading;), but if you look at my post, you'll see I DO strive. The problem is it just lacks any sort of pleasure / achievement / enjoyment. What I'm looking for is something that makes it feel more worthwhile that the sort of hooey like "nothing tastes as good as skinny feels". I've read reams of motivational BS statements like this. No matter how you slice them, they remain BS. I'm wondering what REAL people, like those here, do to make it feel worthwhile day to day, minute to minute.

Edited September 23, 2010 by Honorable_Venerable
typos!

[Veronica K]

What really feels good about exercise to me is that it raises the level of reserves I have on a daily basis. Physical reserves, as in being able to do any number of different things and not feel completely exhausted by them. Most importantly to me is the fact that it raises the threshold as far as the amount of stress I can handle, too.

[Rorschach]

Well my goal when i started working out was to lose weight so for me it's obvious when i'm getting closer to my goal. I started at 300 pounds, I'm down to 220 (probably lower). While the scale changed quickly I didn't look any different for a few good months.

 

Current goal is to still lose weight but I'm also looking forward to being able to do unassisted pull-ups, right now I have the machine providing 80 pounds of upward thrust, meaning I'm lifting about 140 pounds, as I lose weight and build muscle though I'd like to be able to do pull ups completely unassisted. And by do pull-ups I mean do a full work out of them, not just do one or two.

 

Also veronica K that avatar is ridiculously adorable to the point of distraction

[Rorschach]

I should clarify, that first two months I was on a diet was the most terrible two months. I was hungry all the time, I was in a foul mood, due to the situation I was in at the time I was being constantly tempted by things that were deliciously bad for me.

 

It was the hardest thing I've ever had to do, sticking to a rigid diet for 2 months without seeing any real solid results (numbers on a scale don't mean diddly squat to me, at the time they were going down but I still felt just as fat as when I started, now the numbers barely change at all but I get thinner and more muscled every week, the scale lies). Most people would never have been able to do it.

 

But the day I put my pants on and was able to pull them up over my stomach to the natural waistline I realized what a difference I had been making. I wore them like that all day long, at the end of the day I had a huge red ring around my midsection since it was really still too tight but damn it I could at least get it over!

 

Now I'm approaching my third belt! Already went through all the notches on one (started in the middle) and down to the last notch on this belt, about to go and buy a new one. And ever since then the diet has been super easy, I haven't always worked out as much as I should have but I never cheated on my diet for more than a day or two at a time and i've never put any weight back on.

[Star Gazer]

FWIW, I never feel that endorphin rush/exercise high UNLESS I push myself in a high intensity workout or run...and it comes only my heart rate has gone back to close to normal. During the workout itself I'm usually internally cursing at myself.

[Veronica K]

...Also veronica K that avatar is ridiculously adorable to the point of distraction

 

Aw, thanks!

 

I'm just reading your story...I am truly blown away. You rock.

[tman666]

I won't ask if you're hard of reading;), but if you look at my post, you'll see I DO strive. The problem is it just lacks any sort of pleasure / achievement / enjoyment. What I'm looking for is something that makes it feel more worthwhile that the sort of hooey like "nothing tastes as good as skinny feels". I've read reams of motivational BS statements like this. No matter how you slice them, they remain BS. I'm wondering what REAL people, like those here, do to make it feel worthwhile day to day, minute to minute.

 

I re-read your original post, and I can't say that I personally saw any indication that you were really trying to improve. It sounded like, at least to me, that you mostly just go through the motions. I apologize if this is wrong, but it was the impression I got from reading your post.

 

The main thing that makes it enjoyable for me is seeing myself make progress. I've been doing it long enough that progress can be measured in different ways, and that it can take a long time.

 

In order to see success with fitness, it's something that you have to enjoy the journey of. This doesn't mean that you have to enjoy training. Believe me, I like eating pizza and drinking beer a lot more than I like doing squats. However, to me, hitting a squat or deadlift (or whatever I'm doing) personal record is rewarding enough where it makes the pain and time spent worth it. Having people stare at me in the gym makes it worth it. Having a girl touch your arms and chest and back while eye f-cking you makes it worth it.

 

My intention is not to be a braggart or to say that what makes it worth it for me has to be your reasons as well. You have to find your own reasons to make it happen. That's what so great about it. It's something that is truly yours. You alone put in the work, and you alone reap the rewards.

 

Make small, attainable short term goals for yourself and make it a point to hit each of those goals. Consistently reaching small goals eventually adds up to big results.

[Veronica K]

I won't ask if you're hard of reading;), but if you look at my post, you'll see I DO strive. The problem is it just lacks any sort of pleasure / achievement / enjoyment. What I'm looking for is something that makes it feel more worthwhile that the sort of hooey like "nothing tastes as good as skinny feels". I've read reams of motivational BS statements like this. No matter how you slice them, they remain BS. I'm wondering what REAL people, like those here, do to make it feel worthwhile day to day, minute to minute.

 

Another thing I have found helpful is to look at the "concrete/little picture" when I know I have a workout to do (what activity, how long, weight, ect.)...I tend to focus more on the "abstract/big picture" when it comes to motivation to stick with it.

 

I don't know how helpful that concept is to you, but just thought I'd put it out there.

[Star Gazer]

Maybe you can get a complete physical, and then periodically get Che kudos to see how your exercise/diet program is improving you'd health in ways you didn't realize (cholesterol, O2 capacity, lean mass, etc.). That may help keep you motivated...

[Rorschach]

Aw, thanks!

 

I'm just reading your story...I am truly blown away. You rock.

 

Thanks, it's a lifelong road which I really just started on in the grand scope of things. It's been very rewarding and my quality of life has improved in the past year. Can't possibly ask for more than that.

[Honorable_Venerable]

I re-read your original post, and I can't say that I personally saw any indication that you were really trying to improve. It sounded like, at least to me, that you mostly just go through the motions. I apologize if this is wrong, but it was the impression I got from reading your post.

 

I swim when I can, and aim for twice a week (I don't when the roads are so icy the journey is treacherous - breaking my neck will reverse all the health gains I get from trying to keep fit!), cycle (once or twice, ditto) or use an exercise bike if I'm confined to the house. I swim at least half a mile to a mile each session - the upper limit is how soon I can get there before too many people arrive and it makes ploughing up and down too much aggro.

 

The main thing that makes it enjoyable for me is seeing myself make progress. I've been doing it long enough that progress can be measured in different ways, and that it can take a long time.

I'm at tyhe stage where "progress" is infinitesimally slow. Sure, I can try to do one more length of the pool, but if I've done 60, 61 is not different enough to make it inspiring. 60 is a struggle, and 61 doesn't feel worth any more.

 

In order to see success with fitness, it's something that you have to enjoy the journey of. This doesn't mean that you have to enjoy training. Believe me, I like eating pizza and drinking beer a lot more than I like doing squats. However, to me, hitting a squat or deadlift (or whatever I'm doing) personal record is rewarding enough where it makes the pain and time spent worth it. Having people stare at me in the gym makes it worth it. Having a girl touch your arms and chest and back while eye f-cking you makes it worth it.

No-one stares at a bloke doing laps or riding a bike (except the whackjob in the car who's trying to take you out:laugh:). As a married man, I'd have to avoid that anyway. BTW, it won't improve your lovelife in your marriage either - go over to the MLP forum for further details, but suffice it to say if this is your motivator, you are going to find yourself sadly dsiappointed:o

 

My intention is not to be a braggart or to say that what makes it worth it for me has to be your reasons as well. You have to find your own reasons to make it happen. That's what so great about it. It's something that is truly yours. You alone put in the work, and you alone reap the rewards.

I'm sure you weren't intending to brag, but actually, I DID want to hear other peoples' reasons. It's likely there are some I've missed, and it could be that reading one of them is the "Ah-Ha!" moment. At the moment, exercise is like financial prudence for me - there are obvious very negative consequences to NOT practising it, but not a lot of positives from doing so.

 

Make small, attainable short term goals for yourself and make it a point to hit each of those goals. Consistently reaching small goals eventually adds up to big results.

Limitations on WHAT I can do don't help. When I was younger and I did judo and fencing, the fitness side was a means to an end, which helped with motivation tremendously. There ain't a lot of openings in either of those sports if your mobility's f**ked:(

[tman666]

 

I'm at tyhe stage where "progress" is infinitesimally slow. Sure, I can try to do one more length of the pool, but if I've done 60, 61 is not different enough to make it inspiring. 60 is a struggle, and 61 doesn't feel worth any more.

 

 

Perhaps you should try "periodizing" your swimming and biking. Now don't get me wrong, I've never been a competitive swimmer, so perhaps I'm just talking out of my ass here, but I know that in the weight room, breaking your training down into specific phases (strength, hypertrophy, power, endurance, tapering) is a good way to make long term progress. I figure you could apply the same principle to swimming.

 

For example, lets say you swim four times per week. Perhaps the first day of the week, you go as far as you can in your allotted time frame. The second day you go could be a "sprint" day, where you focus on shorter lengths (like a 50 or 100 yd.) but do them as fast as you can, repeating as many times as you can in your time frame. You could then repeat the cycle on days 3 and 4. You could also try different strokes, such as the butterfly. The butterfly always kicks my ass.

 

In all, I'm not going to sit here and pretend I know a lot about swimming or anything. I do know that it's important not the train the same set of parameters day in and day out though.

[Honorable_Venerable]

Perhaps you should try "periodizing" your swimming and biking. Now don't get me wrong, I've never been a competitive swimmer, so perhaps I'm just talking out of my ass here, but I know that in the weight room, breaking your training down into specific phases (strength, hypertrophy, power, endurance, tapering) is a good way to make long term progress. I figure you could apply the same principle to swimming.

 

For example, lets say you swim four times per week. Perhaps the first day of the week, you go as far as you can in your allotted time frame. The second day you go could be a "sprint" day, where you focus on shorter lengths (like a 50 or 100 yd.) but do them as fast as you can, repeating as many times as you can in your time frame. You could then repeat the cycle on days 3 and 4. You could also try different strokes, such as the butterfly. The butterfly always kicks my ass.

 

 

In all, I'm not going to sit here and pretend I know a lot about swimming or anything. I do know that it's important not the train the same set of parameters day in and day out though.

From a purely technical standpoint, that sounds like really good advice - as you say, the theory's sound so it ought to work. I'll try it. Even varying the stroke has to help the mind-numbing effect of the never-changing view of the end wall of the pool:D!

 

What I need is a tip on "why" though. I don't have any motivation to swim (or cycle) further or faster. I'm not in any sort of competition, whilst I'm not a super-athlete, neither am I radically unfit. If I need to lose weight it's sub 10 pounds, not 100lb+ we're talking about. How do I make it less a f**kin' chore?

 

I compared it with financial prudence - if someone asks "why don't you spend money without a second thought?" you reply "because if I do that I'll go bankrupt and lose my house and family will be on the street". Similarly, I exercise to avoid the negative effects of NOT doing so. I've failed to find any positive reinforcement to exercise, and was hoping for some ideas I'd missed from real people

[tman666]

From a purely technical standpoint, that sounds like really good advice - as you say, the theory's sound so it ought to work. I'll try it. Even varying the stroke has to help the mind-numbing effect of the never-changing view of the end wall of the pool:D!

 

What I need is a tip on "why" though. I don't have any motivation to swim (or cycle) further or faster. I'm not in any sort of competition, whilst I'm not a super-athlete, neither am I radically unfit. If I need to lose weight it's sub 10 pounds, not 100lb+ we're talking about. How do I make it less a f**kin' chore?

 

I compared it with financial prudence - if someone asks "why don't you spend money without a second thought?" you reply "because if I do that I'll go bankrupt and lose my house and family will be on the street". Similarly, I exercise to avoid the negative effects of NOT doing so. I've failed to find any positive reinforcement to exercise, and was hoping for some ideas I'd missed from real people

 

Like I said earlier, my main motivation comes from seeing results. I mean, why the hell would anyone want to do something that was seemingly completely frivolous?

 

Is there another activity that you could take place in that would be more fun for you, something that you could use to justify your training? For example, my dad is an avid swimmer as well, and used to swim competitively. However, his primary motivation is wanting to be in better shape for the stuff he actually LIKES doing, such as hiking, backpacking, and skiing. Obviously, the health benefits (such as joint health, heart health, etc.) are a great added bonus.

[LadyRLD]

From a purely technical standpoint, that sounds like really good advice - as you say, the theory's sound so it ought to work. I'll try it. Even varying the stroke has to help the mind-numbing effect of the never-changing view of the end wall of the pool:D!

 

What I need is a tip on "why" though. I don't have any motivation to swim (or cycle) further or faster. I'm not in any sort of competition, whilst I'm not a super-athlete, neither am I radically unfit. If I need to lose weight it's sub 10 pounds, not 100lb+ we're talking about. How do I make it less a f**kin' chore?

 

I compared it with financial prudence - if someone asks "why don't you spend money without a second thought?" you reply "because if I do that I'll go bankrupt and lose my house and family will be on the street". Similarly, I exercise to avoid the negative effects of NOT doing so. I've failed to find any positive reinforcement to exercise, and was hoping for some ideas I'd missed from real people

 

I think you don't have anything to motivate you anymore. So you have to dig deep down inside yourself to find the motivation. I know I do. You have to think of it in terms of taking care of yourself. Like this is something you are doing to keep your heart strong or to keep your blood pressure down. You have to think of something that's not superficial. Of course I like to stay looking good and I know exercise is what makes me glow. I know it's superficial but it works for ME. You have to find something that exercise does for YOU that will motivate you to keep going.

 

Let's start by this question: Why did you start exercising to begin with, what got you into swimming? Maybe if we start from there we can find some passion within you to keep you going. Or maybe go a month or two without exercising at all and see how you feel. I think doing this will show you that you did have an endorphin rise when you were exercising. You could just be sooo bored with what you are doing you don't notice it. But take some time off and see how much more worse you will feel. I get depressed if I go two weeks without exercising. So I don't let myself go that long without.