Veronica K Posted September 23, 2010 Posted September 23, 2010 (edited) There's a guy I'm getting to know, and every time we have to part ways, he says not to go yet, ect. He genuinely likes talking with me, and I do him. We click. I feel that I can be myself around him, which is huge. I like when he says not to go, because I feel the same way. But I also think a little anticipation is a good thing. Also, these things take time. There's this little voice in the back of my head that's telling me this can burn out unless I pace it. Does anyone have any ideas on how to successfully to pace a very new relationship, without giving the impression that you aren't interested? Edited September 23, 2010 by Veronica K clarity
CLC2008 Posted September 24, 2010 Posted September 24, 2010 Everyone is different. My cousin and her boyfriend, after the first month or so, were pretty much together every single day and they've been together for almost a year now. My female friend, same thing, except they burned out after 4 months. My rule of thumb, would be to keep and maintain the life you had before you met him. Also, don't purposely make yourself unavailable to spend time together, in order to pace the relationship. That's just going against the grain versus the relationship growing organically. Best of luck.
Author Veronica K Posted September 24, 2010 Author Posted September 24, 2010 Everyone is different. My cousin and her boyfriend, after the first month or so, were pretty much together every single day and they've been together for almost a year now. My female friend, same thing, except they burned out after 4 months. My rule of thumb, would be to keep and maintain the life you had before you met him. Also, don't purposely make yourself unavailable to spend time together, in order to pace the relationship. That's just going against the grain versus the relationship growing organically. Best of luck. Re: not making myself purposely unavailable to spend time together - you're absolutely right. I don't want to do that. I am surprised this man came into my life. Right when I came to terms with perhaps never having any romantic relationships again, he has to show up! I thought the chances of finding (1) a compatible guy who is (2) largely drama-free and (3) ready + into me were slim to none. It seems to be happening a little fast. He comes across as so sure. I'm taking your advice about keeping the life I had before I met him. Thanks much, CLC.
CLC2008 Posted September 24, 2010 Posted September 24, 2010 Re: not making myself purposely unavailable to spend time together - you're absolutely right. I don't want to do that. I am surprised this man came into my life. Right when I came to terms with perhaps never having any romantic relationships again, he has to show up! I thought the chances of finding (1) a compatible guy who is (2) largely drama-free and (3) ready + into me were slim to none. It seems to be happening a little fast. He comes across as so sure. I'm taking your advice about keeping the life I had before I met him. Thanks much, CLC. You're welcome Veronica. I wish you lots of happiness with it, you deserve it.
Author Veronica K Posted October 16, 2010 Author Posted October 16, 2010 (edited) You're welcome Veronica. I wish you lots of happiness with it, you deserve it. When I first read this (a while ago), I teared up a little. How embarrassing! Oy. I think when I started this thread, I was anxious. We've been together about a month now. Things are going well. You advice helped, especially the part about letting it happen organically. It helped to assuage some of my fears, in that if it worked out, it would - and if it didn't, that's alright. I could loosen the reins a tad and enjoy it. So thanks again. Edited October 16, 2010 by Veronica K
Jannah Posted October 18, 2010 Posted October 18, 2010 When I first read this (a while ago), I teared up a little. How embarrassing! Oy. I think when I started this thread, I was anxious. We've been together about a month now. Things are going well. You advice helped, especially the part about letting it happen organically. It helped to assuage some of my fears, in that if it worked out, it would - and if it didn't, that's alright. I could loosen the reins a tad and enjoy it. So thanks again. Awe, that is sweet. I am happy things are going well for you. Formerly, CLC2008
dreamingoftigers Posted October 19, 2010 Posted October 19, 2010 Nice to hear someone in the happy starting part of their relationship
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