lovebubble Posted September 23, 2010 Posted September 23, 2010 so, long story short, husband and i.. dated 2 years.. married for 2 years. EXTREMELY up/down verbally abusive, bi-polar relationship/marriage.. i.e constantly arguing and constantly making up. through everything, i just KNEW he wasn't '' that type of guy ''.... but, he was. he got deployed, 5 months into the deployment i managed to hack into his email and found out about 2 seperate affairs. one was currently taking place overseas, the other took place immediately before he left. he came back from afghanistan. i divorced him. contact was limited... up until about 2 weeks ago.. we've been hanging out, somewhat acting like married life is ours again. through a lot of talking, he admitted to 2 other affairs over the course of our 4 year relationship.. but, claims that he has changed and learned from it.. if i'd just give him a chance. the dating scene has been a blast for me.. but, my attitude on dating has been grim. i'm 23.. and finding another young man that actually wants something somewhat solid is a task.. which leads me to ask, is it worth working out with my ex? my faith in finding a faithful man is just slim to none..
PegNosePete Posted September 23, 2010 Posted September 23, 2010 No, get rid of this serial cheater. You deserve better than this. There are plenty of faithful men out there. At 23 you have plenty of time to find one. Many of us are much older than that and getting divorced.
painfullyobvious Posted September 23, 2010 Posted September 23, 2010 If he is cheating this early in the marriage what do you think he will be doing as the relationship hits its five, ten, or twenty year mark. He did you a favor pointing out his serial cheating before your marriage involved children. I wish you you the best and am sorry you had to go through this but put your energy into a relationship where a person will treat you in a manner that is respectful. Why risk going through it all over again?
Maggotface Posted September 23, 2010 Posted September 23, 2010 Do NOT settle for him because you don't think you can find better. He hasnt learned anything he's just feeding you what you want to hear. You're young just give it time, you're not use to being on your own and you miss what's familiar but what's familiar isnt always what's best for you.
bentnotbroken Posted September 23, 2010 Posted September 23, 2010 May I ask why you feel as if you needed to be married now at 23? Why not travel, explore, live a little. Grow into you? You aren't who you are going to be in 5 years. Enjoy life then look for a partner. Why settle?
young&inlove Posted September 23, 2010 Posted September 23, 2010 I got married at 19. We have now been married for 2 years. you need to ask yourself a few questions. Does he make you happy? Will he treat you the way you want and deserve to be treated? Will he take care of all your needs, mentally, physically, sexually, and even money wise? Will he be there for you no matter what? And for me my biggest question I had to ask myself was, do I have fun with him? I know, yes 19... I was told by SOOO many people don’t get married; your too young, travel and all that. The way I saw it was now I have a travel partner, someone who wants what I want, and enjoys what I enjoy. He is my best friend and I think that is what makes a spouse. No one here can give you the answer you are looking for. Just take a couple of days to yourself and ask these deep questions. You will figure it out. Everything happens for a reason.
wicar1 Posted September 23, 2010 Posted September 23, 2010 so, long story short, husband and i.. dated 2 years.. married for 2 years. EXTREMELY up/down verbally abusive, bi-polar relationship/marriage.. i.e constantly arguing and constantly making up. through everything, i just KNEW he wasn't '' that type of guy ''.... but, he was. he got deployed, 5 months into the deployment i managed to hack into his email and found out about 2 seperate affairs. one was currently taking place overseas, the other took place immediately before he left. he came back from afghanistan. i divorced him. contact was limited... up until about 2 weeks ago.. we've been hanging out, somewhat acting like married life is ours again. through a lot of talking, he admitted to 2 other affairs over the course of our 4 year relationship.. but, claims that he has changed and learned from it.. if i'd just give him a chance. the dating scene has been a blast for me.. but, my attitude on dating has been grim. i'm 23.. and finding another young man that actually wants something somewhat solid is a task.. which leads me to ask, is it worth working out with my ex? my faith in finding a faithful man is just slim to none.. once a cheater always a cheater !! He broke the trust, the chances of him doing it again is huge. You deserve a honest person. Leave your ex. good luck!!
Untouchable_Fire Posted September 24, 2010 Posted September 24, 2010 the dating scene has been a blast for me.. but, my attitude on dating has been grim. i'm 23.. and finding another young man that actually wants something somewhat solid is a task.. which leads me to ask, is it worth working out with my ex? my faith in finding a faithful man is just slim to none.. Keep dating! Eventually someone will blow you away. Also, you need to actually get over the divorce. I don't think your there yet emotionally. Otherwise you wouldn't be trying to convince yourself to go back.
Recommended Posts