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I broke NC =/ and regret it

summerl0vesyou

By summerl0vesyou
in Coping

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summerl0vesyou Established Member

summerl0vesyou

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Well, some of you may know. Im in a legal situation (car accident, Im being sued) and my ex was my passenger. He knows a lot about legal stuff so Ive been asking him for help. Hes been fairly decent about it but sometimes harsh and sticks straight to that only.

I told him I had to go to the hospital a few days ago and all he said was "im sorry to hear that"

he used to care...

 

Well anyway, I only wanted a simple question answered. I had no idea what it would turn into. I asked him, and then we were talking about it for a while and he said to not worry about it cuz I cant control the situation.

So I told him, Im one of those kinds of people that "what if" all the time and overthink everything, even when i cant do anything.

he said-

"I know, I know you. remember who i am"

and I got kinda pissed. And said-

"Did we really?"

at this point, he started getting angry and saying he wasnt going to go thru this with me. he said legal questions only. and that he had to go study for a test. he said that he wasnt going to re-involve himself, that he doesnt mind the legal questions but thats it. hes not going to spend time talking about this.

I told him how sad I was, and that I didnt have answers or closure and I was having a hard time. and he just kept repeating that hes not going to talk about it.

And when I said its clear he doesnt care anymore, he got mad and told me to stop judging. well what the hell would he think if someone didnt want anything to do with him and enforced "legal questions only"?? HELLO?? anyone would think that person didnt care!

 

 

Why do I love such a jerk?? He used to care about me. Or so I thought. Maybe i never knew the real him at all =[ it breaks my heart. I wish I hadnt even talked to him.

 

From now on, Im not going to contact him unless Im forced to by law =/

Edited by summerl0vesyou
PegNosePete Established Member

PegNosePete

Posted
Posted

Stop talking to him! Stop asking him legal questions too! Use google instead :)

Heatemyheart89 Established Member

Heatemyheart89

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Posted

Get rid of him completely put your life he clearly doesn't want to be in yours!

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summerl0vesyou Established Member

summerl0vesyou

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its so painful looking back. even just now, i was looking thru my old phone for pictures of the car accident. and I found a lot of old texts and pictures from HIM that I shoulda NOT looked at...So painful. he said he'd never leave. he said all these things...but thats not him anymore, thats not what he wants anymore and i have to wrap my dense head around it =[ its eating my alive it hurts so bad

shayan Established Member

shayan

Posted
Posted

let go kiddo, it will be hard but it's best you don't contact him anymore.

jeff2321 Established Member

jeff2321

Posted
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The only WAY I was able to even get myself this far was by deleting everything. I made it impossible for myself to look at a picture of her. I got rid of all emails ( deleted permanently ), texts, phone numbers, and I get rid of all the stuff on facebook. Facebook is a real killer during times of heartbreak -- I had to delete almost 200 photos of us together and I had to untag myself from about 300 photos. I then got rid of all the physical items she gave me and I rearranged the house we once lived in together -- as soon as I can get out of my lease I'm moving out and to somewhere I've never lived before so that I can start fresh.

 

It wasn't until I start purging her stuff out of my life that I started to progress a bit. It's strange that no contact and getting rid of an EX's stuff can help, but it does... at least it did for me.

 

Women on the other hand seem to be a bit different than me on this though. Most of my EXs have kept most of the stuff from their previous relationships and it doesn't impact them at all. I guess I'm just a sensitive guy because I was at fault for a lot of things and I was the one that I got dumped.

 

I'm on day 11 of No Contact and can't wait till I'm on day 111 of no contact.

 

Just my .02.

 

Jeff2321

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summerl0vesyou Established Member

summerl0vesyou

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Posted
The only WAY I was able to even get myself this far was by deleting everything. I made it impossible for myself to look at a picture of her. I got rid of all emails ( deleted permanently ), texts, phone numbers, and I get rid of all the stuff on facebook. Facebook is a real killer during times of heartbreak -- I had to delete almost 200 photos of us together and I had to untag myself from about 300 photos. I then got rid of all the physical items she gave me and I rearranged the house we once lived in together -- as soon as I can get out of my lease I'm moving out and to somewhere I've never lived before so that I can start fresh.

 

It wasn't until I start purging her stuff out of my life that I started to progress a bit. It's strange that no contact and getting rid of an EX's stuff can help, but it does... at least it did for me.

 

Women on the other hand seem to be a bit different than me on this though. Most of my EXs have kept most of the stuff from their previous relationships and it doesn't impact them at all. I guess I'm just a sensitive guy because I was at fault for a lot of things and I was the one that I got dumped.

 

I'm on day 11 of No Contact and can't wait till I'm on day 111 of no contact.

 

Just my .02.

 

Jeff2321

 

thanks Jeff. Its interesting that you say it doesnt seem to affect us females when we keep things...

I have a red box filled with stuff from past bf's. Ive kept it because they were people I simply could not bring myself to forget...I keep the memory alive (and it always brings SO much pain) but I cant seem to delete things.

As sad as it is, I broke up with this guy officially almost 10 months ago and I still have our album together "hidden" on myspace.

I just cant bring myself to delete it. Same goes for old texts and pics on my cell I saved. I still have our album on my phone!! i guess im not ready. It kills me to think of deleting specifics...I dont know why.

 

I give you serious kudos for taking those steps. It can be refreshing (Ive deleted some things from others in the past), and then you cant go back and look at it even on a day when you are starry eyed and sad. and you should be proud. I wish I had that kind of strength right now. I could delete these things but that isnt where my heart is, and thats sad.

 

I know that no contact will help me. As long as I stop asking him things and just stay away, I know ill start to forget about him again (i was relatively okay for about a month while I was briefly seeing someone else in the beginning of summer). And I didnt talk to him for about a month and I was alright...then i barked up the tree and let him take away my esteem again by letting him get the best of me.

 

STAY STRONG! were all in this together! we will find people that are better for us<3

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