Soloquan Posted September 22, 2010 Posted September 22, 2010 They say that by writing things down it clears the mind, and this is what I'm aiming for, I'm not necessarily after advice per se, just a theraputic session after a couple of beers and to relate my story. If anyone else is in this situation then we are kindred spirits, tortured souls if you will. I first met this girl at university five years ago. I was living in halls and one of my flatmates invited her over for dinner. As I walked into the kitchen there she was, the most incredible girl I'd ever seen, in that instant I fell in love. She had a pair of bright yellow washing up gloves on and elbow deep in dirty pans but she was the most beautiful girl I'd ever seen. I'm not entirely sure how things got started but needless to say we started spending more time together in the coming weeks and months, she'd pop over to my halls for a chat, we'd talk for hours, she'd lay on my bed. It never felt strange or awkard, just like it was meant to be, I find it so hard to talk to girls normally but with her it just so easy, I felt so liberated, like I could be my goofy self and she'd just laugh. I loved every hair on this girls head, every freckle and every smile warmed my heart. As time went on I started to convince myself that she felt the same, I'd say to myself that it's impossible for one person to feel like this, it has to be a mutual thing. I'd read into every little signal looking for confirmation. We'd go out on 'dates' it was like having a girlfriend just without the sex. I was so sure that if I just told her how I felt then she'd confess her love for me too. I started to go quite crazy about her, thinking about her every waking minute, I cannot describe in words how I felt, I was tortured, dying inside, I was so in love with this girl and she knew nothing of how I felt. Two years later and I could stand no more, we went out for a drink and I told her my feelings for her. The response tore my heart out, stamped all over it and kicked it to the kerb. After she finished laughing, she said, and I quote... "I really like you Chris, you're a good friend, when we first met I fancied you a little, but now nothing's ever going to happen ok, EVER." I didn't see her for six months after that, didn't talk to her, no text messages nothing, I still thought about her a lot and wondered where it all went wrong... if only and etc... After that we started seeing each other again and picked up where we left off as friends, I lied to her and said I was over her and I can handle being friends, it's now been five years since I met her the first time and I'm still in love with her. we've just been out for a drink and it's just ridiculous. I just feel so comfortable around her, we talk over dinner and I look at her and nothing else in the world matters. Such a shame she doesn't feel the same, what can I say, if anyone else is just starting out in my situation I would suggest this: 1) don't leave it two f*****g years to tell him/her how you feel, do it now then you'll know. Don't get into that 'freind zone' because trust me, no matter what you think there is NO COMING BACK. 2) if he/she doesn't feel the same, cut them loose, it WILL drive you insane for the REST OF YOUR LIFE It hurts like hell, unrequited love is the hardest love of all, at least if you've been in love you've shared those moments, unrequited is all what ifs and maybes. Peace out guys, and don't let it be another unrequited love tale, do the right thing and either tell them or cut them loose.
Confused100 Posted September 22, 2010 Posted September 22, 2010 1) don't leave it two f*****g years to tell him/her how you feel, do it now then you'll know. Don't get into that 'freind zone' because trust me, no matter what you think there is NO COMING BACK. 2) if he/she doesn't feel the same, cut them loose, it WILL drive you insane for the REST OF YOUR LIFE It hurts like hell, unrequited love is the hardest love of all, at least if you've been in love you've shared those moments, unrequited is all what ifs and maybes. Well put. I've learned lesson 1 the hard way too. Of course she rejected me. And, I fell into the trap of number 2 as well. I tried to reconcile things with her (it's just so hard to stop yourself when you feel so strongly about someone), but I didn't even hear back from her... which is devastating when you're harboring an unrequited love. Hey, at least you and I both learned a lesson, eh? It's hard to think rationally in situations like that, unfortunately. Cutting them loose is the right thing to do. The feeling of losing that person forever feels terrible, but it's better than torturing yourself for months and months. At least you can finally move on after some time.
Author Soloquan Posted September 23, 2010 Author Posted September 23, 2010 Exactly. Not sure if I'm lucky or unlucky to be in this situation. Just friends again. I use the term 'friends' very loosely. According to her we are 'friends', in my head she is the love of my life. You're so right when you say that you can't think rationally in these situations, as much as you try your heart takes over and you convince yourself that the other person feels the same, if only you could step back you would see it for what it is. The only solace I can take from this is that I know where I stand, you MUST and I repeat MUST tell that other person how you feel, you have to know one way or the other. I know we can only be friends now, as much as I still love this girl I know and that makes it somewhat easier, it's the not knowing that drives you quite possibly clinically insane. For you Confused100, as much as it hurts, in the grand scheme of things if she didn't even reply then she probably wasn't even that good of a friend. It's better to be friends than nothing at all, if she didn't even want that then you are better off as you are dude
Confused100 Posted September 23, 2010 Posted September 23, 2010 I know what you mean. When I was in that situation and saw others in a similar one, I was able to give them sound advice. However, I had great difficulty following it myself! You're probably right. We were such good friends beforehand--chatting all day, hanging out, etc. I guess me asking her out just turned her off from even that. At that time she said she still wanted to be friends, but apparently that was just a lie. At any rate, I hope both of us find someone (soon!) who can reciprocate that love!
Author Soloquan Posted September 23, 2010 Author Posted September 23, 2010 who can reciprocate that love! Said it all, one day it'll happen, strange how you can have so much love for one person..... who doesn't feel the same.
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