My success story after being completely blindesided and devistated!

[Confused9]

Three years ago today marks the day that my ex-fiancé told me he didn’t love me anymore, then took it back, then said he was confused, and therefore started the end of our 7 year relationship. We were due to get married 13 months from then. I was stunned, shocked, confused, etc. I didn't know which way was up. I felt hopeless and lost. That was the beginning of many sleepless nights. I had no closure. He wouldn't answer any of my questions and it was just a mess. (I am not going to rehash but you can post stalk me and see how devastated I was). Anyway, he ended up admitting he was cheating, married the OW about 9 months later and had a baby a week or so before what was to be OUR wedding day. So needless to say it was a mess, I was a mess. I felt like I was living but not my life. I felt like I was watching my life crumble around me. I wanted to drive in to trucks and just end it all. I was in so much pain. I just couldn't handle it and I changed so much from that moment on. I was sad, angry, depressed, mad, inconsolable. I couldn't care less about anything around me. He was my everything and I was not whole without him. I begged and pleaded with him to no avail. He was an @sshole and I didn't care. All I wanted was to be with him and I felt worthless without him.

 

Looking back now, I see we weren't meant to be. Sure there are some days when I am like OMG, did that really happen, and it still stings a bit since he was so careless with my feelings at the end. But, I am so much happier now and living proof that time does heal all wounds! I was always told one day I would want to thank him for this and never believed it to be true, but I can sit here today and say with all honesty that I do thank him for leaving. My life is so much better without him and I am so glad that we did not get married. I started dating someone 11 months ago and I am more in love than I ever have been. He is an amazing boy and had an awful time getting me to trust him, but I finally did and we couldn't be happier. I am still scared, obviously, but what happened to me didn't ruin me forever in relationships. I feel even more sure that I deserve something amazing due to the pain I went through with my ex.

 

I want all of you out there who are just starting this hard journey to recovery from a broken heart to know that things do get better and I am living proof. It took a lot of hard work, soul searching, and a few years but it will happen. I know how hopeless you feel and I just hope that you feel better very soon. This website helped me so much when I was going through my breakup and I remember being so inspired by others overcoming their horrible stories that I thought I would come on here and try and do the same.

 

I haven't been on here in a long time and I am not sure if the people who helped me are still here...but you were all angels and so helpful to me. Someday your responses were the only thing keeping me going.

 

Hang in there,

Confused9

[dbmystinkbug]

Thanks for sharing. I'm new to this forum but have been returning here every night for nearly a week since I discovered it, and it has been very helpful. I'm 37 and this ain't my first rodeo, so to speak, but every time my heart is broken (it's only really happened a few times) it feels like the first time all over again and posts like yours really put things in perspective, particularly what you said about feeling worthless (I'm no stranger to that emotion, lately especially). So glad to hear that you were able to put it all behind you and come out on the other end in a better place than you were before.

 

Wish you luck with your new beau!

[Trovador]

Thanks a lot for your kind words... I do know there will be peace soon in my journey but your experience strengthens my hope...

[Caradavine]

Thank you, Confused9.

[BlueMoonshine]

Thanks you so much for sharing confused9. I'm going through the same and it's killing me.....I just wish time would hurry up.

[bobo113]

Thank you so much for posting. I can't wait until I'm writing the same message in the not too distant future. :-)

[Fouts]

Good to hear and thanks for sharing. Everyone feels like their life is over when they get dumped. Moving on and finding someone who wants you is the key, not the mindless going back and forth that people seem to mire themselves in.

[bobo113]

Btw, do you know what's happened to your ex? Is he still married to the OW? You probably don;t care anymore but it's always interesting to here how these things progress...

[Confused9]

Hang in there everyone, this will get better. It's taken a lot of time but I am doing better. I waited 2 years to get in to another relationship and I think if I did it any time sooner, it would never have lasted. Even know I try and push him away, see what it will take him to leave, but ever since the beginning he's said 'I'm not going anywhere, so try as you might, you're stuck with me'. It was so scary and I find myself panicking at times, but...it's worth it to be in love and I won't allow my ex to ruin something else for me...he's done enough!

 

Bobo, as for my ex. When he me the OW he was working out of state for a few months. After everything happened, he moved out there. I never saw him again. I heard they are moving back or have moved back. This has caused some panic as I have gotten over him, but haven't had to worry about seeing him. Now, I have to worry about that! So, that kinda stinks, but I know if I see him it will be more uncomfortable than sad. I am happy with my new life, and I know deep down inside that what happened is for the best. Plus, I feel like now that I am over it, I was the one who got off easy, because as I have said since day 1, I will only have to deal with what he did to me until I am over it. He has to live with what he did for the rest of his life. I don’t care how much of an Ahole you are, he has to think about it and it has to bother him. He did some unspeakable things and built a marriage on a foundation of lies. I started fresh with my new boyfriend and have very open communication with him due to my past. This is a recipe for success where my ex has a recipe for disaster. I guess with no closure, I was forced to create my own and with that, I just anticipate the walls to come crashing down on him…and that makes it easier for me. Whatever works, right? J Hang in there. This will get better!!!