southpaw79 Posted September 22, 2010 Posted September 22, 2010 Long story shot: broke up with the ex of 3+ years officially in March, been off & on dragging out this pseudo-relationship since thing until I employed NC on the 3rd of this month. Broke said NC today, for the following not-so-bright reason: ...basically: my very closest love killed himself in '98... & today would have been his bday. (well yesterday, as it's past midnight now) and I find also out the same day thru mutual friends that the recent ex's first time partner died (not today, round when we broke up), and that he doesn't know. So being the emotionally screwed up version of my normally sane self, I tell him. Short & sweet as one possibly can do, and then goodbye, but the problem is it's dredging up feelings for him that i'd kinda like to keep away right now. The knowing what he is going thru and wanting to be there for him (tho only as a friend - he cheated, no relationship potential is there) won't subside, but its too soon for friendship and I know it... so how do I get rid of these feelings? Argh! Any help?
Lost Fish Posted September 22, 2010 Posted September 22, 2010 (edited) You told him his first love died as an excuse to try and see if he'd reach out to you. This comes off as pretty shady to me and definitely a bit disrespectful to the deceased. He cheated on you! Why is it your responsibility to do anything? You are now back at square one of NC. Start over and make a commitment to start bettering yourself and moving forward. Babysteps - one day, one hour, one minute at a time. Edited September 22, 2010 by Lost Fish Typos..
Author southpaw79 Posted September 22, 2010 Author Posted September 22, 2010 Wasn't his first love, just happened to be the first girl he slept with. And before you jump to conclusions I don't need it as an excuse for him to reach out to me, he has been, I have ignored him. He DID cheat, so there is no relationship potential, as I said, but that doesn't mean down the line I want to give up friendship potential. How exactly is it disrespectful to the deceased?
jeff2321 Posted September 23, 2010 Posted September 23, 2010 Why do you want to _eventually_ remain friends with someone that cheated on you? Seems like that would only continually remind you of the past. At least for me it would. Jeff
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