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What do you think about serial daters who go from relationship to relationship

durkadurka

By durkadurka
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durkadurka Established Member

durkadurka

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Hey guys,

 

I was just thinking about how someone I recently dated was a serial dater.

 

I don't really know how to explain what I am trying to say but I'll try my best.

 

This girl was in a 3.5 year relationship before she dated me. For 2 years, they were 'long distance', they would spend Christmas' together, and he would come visit her, and take trips together.

 

Before she firmly broke it off with him, I know she slept with AT LEAST 5 men (including me) which included bankers, med students, high class types. Often, she would be dating and sleeping with multiple guys while having this original poor guy being strung along.

 

She wasn't beyond doing this to me, there were times when we started dating that she would disappear because her ex would come into town.

 

The worst might have been about 3 months in. When her ex flew into town, I didn't hear from her for about a month. Then she broke things off with me completely so she could go on exchange to Stanford, where she met another guy, who she ended up sleeping with. Eventually the fellow flew her to Europe, and then stopped talking to.

 

All while stringing the original guy along!

 

 

Eventually, she and I ended up dating for 2.5 years with some gaps in between including her Stanford adventure.

 

 

She ended up meeting someone new almost immediately after I broke up and I feel as if it's a very degrading position for me to be in.

 

 

Despite the fact that she said she wanted to marry me (which as time goes on I'm starting to doubt more and more), that us men are just really interchangeable and it's who serves her the best at the time.

 

 

 

I just don't know if I should take this personally or not, but seriously, is this the result of Daddy or insecurity issues? I mean this is the same girl who, when I flew down to see her after we broke up, said she was happy not dating anyone.

Fouts Established Member

Fouts

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Doesn't seem like typical daddy issues to me. Women can be playa's too, so it seems like she's just out to serve herself. Not calling you dumb, but if the guys are dumb enough to keep being endlessly strung along, well.

carhill Established Member

carhill

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She's probably broken, but also just as probably gets a lot of free dinners and other interesting stuff.

 

The reality that she *said* she wanted to marry you (I've heard various permutations of this mind-f*ck from a few Hoovers in my past) juxtaposed with the obvious conflicting actions show you the truth. Good luck :)

Lady vs Panda Established Member

Lady vs Panda

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How is that a serial dater? That is a serial cheater. Apples, oranges.

Woggle Established Member

Woggle

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I don't know why she does what she does but why are you still with her? Drop her and move on.

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durkadurka Established Member

durkadurka

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I don't know why she does what she does but why are you still with her? Drop her and move on.

 

Notice how everything I said was past tense.

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durkadurka Established Member

durkadurka

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Doesn't seem like typical daddy issues to me. Women can be playa's too, so it seems like she's just out to serve herself. Not calling you dumb, but if the guys are dumb enough to keep being endlessly strung along, well.

 

I don't think she's a 'playa' because she does look for some sort of commitment.

 

The thing I don't really grasp is how she gets over people so quickly as if they are worth nothing.

 

For me a relationship is an emotional investment, something that takes it all out of me. It takes me months to recover.

Fouts Established Member

Fouts

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She's a player, it's just her ego and need for control that wants the commitment.

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durkadurka Established Member

durkadurka

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She's a player, it's just her ego and need for control that wants the commitment.

 

So she wants to sandbag a guy, then play the field because she can?

welikeincrowds Established Member

welikeincrowds

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I've met a girl like this before. I think we all do at some point. She ended up teaching me a lot about boundaries and trust, albeit the hard way.

 

She's not rational, man. She has a serious problem, and its result is uncanny selfishness. Energy spent trying to understand this person for any reason other than for academic research is energy wasted. Learn from it what you can, but don't dwell. It's not worth it.

Sphere Established Member

Sphere

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I'm a serial dater and I don't behave in this way, if I am exclusive then I will not stray, or sleep around or see anyone else. This woman is cheater and you men are fools for being strung along, no amount sex will make me put up with someone like that.

 

It's time men thought with their head, not with their di*khead. :lmao:

Fouts Established Member

Fouts

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So she wants to sandbag a guy, then play the field because she can?

 

She wants a comfort zone, a home base, and then to play the field.

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durkadurka Established Member

durkadurka

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I'm a serial dater and I don't behave in this way, if I am exclusive then I will not stray, or sleep around or see anyone else. This woman is cheater and you men are fools for being strung along, no amount sex will make me put up with someone like that.

 

It's time men thought with their head, not with their di*khead. :lmao:

 

Like I said, I know she never cheated on me and I don't know what her arrangement was with the guy previous.

 

But that whole, 'i'm going to play as many people at once and see how it lands' idea is pretty crass.

Fouts Established Member

Fouts

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Like I said, I know she never cheated on me

 

From what you've wrote, no offense, but I highly doubt that. You seem a little naive to be honest.

Woggle Established Member

Woggle

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So she wants to sandbag a guy, then play the field because she can?

 

Pretty much yes. It probably makes her feel like some empowered feminist. Just be glad you are no longer dealing with her anymore.

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durkadurka Established Member

durkadurka

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From what you've wrote, no offense, but I highly doubt that. You seem a little naive to be honest.

 

Well, for a matter of fact I know you're wrong.

 

Though I won't lie, because of her history and what I knew, I was always kind of on guard.

Ruby Slippers Established Member

Ruby Slippers

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Women can be playa's too

I just got a Victoria's Secret catalog in the mail, and they have a bra now called "The Player". "Padded for extreme lift." :laugh:

 

I had a friend in college like this. She came out and told me once that she thought nailing hot men was the only thing she was really good at, so she did it every chance she got. This girl was intelligent, talented, and fun, came from a great family who were supportive, and pretty much had it all, but she had this idea that she wasn't good enough, didn't stand out enough. So she bagged a different hot guy every weekend to make herself feel "special". :o

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durkadurka Established Member

durkadurka

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I just got a Victoria's Secret catalog in the mail, and they have a bra now called "The Player". "Padded for extreme lift." :laugh:

 

I had a friend in college like this. She came out and told me once that she thought nailing hot men was the only thing she was really good at, so she did it every chance she got. This girl was intelligent, talented, and fun, came from a great family who were supportive, and pretty much had it all, but she had this idea that she wasn't good enough, didn't stand out enough. So she bagged a different hot guy every weekend to make herself feel "special". :o

 

Yeah part of me thinks that it's a direct result of her unpredictable and unstable family life.

 

She's had to be very independant, and be a survivor. Maybe she grasps at these relationships as some sort of stabilizer, or crutch.

LoveAintEverything Established Member

LoveAintEverything

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I was dating a guy for 5 years and about a week after he found another girl and is planning on getting married with her. The stupid thing is that when we officially broke up he said I will always love you no matter what....no he says no I never loved you...I do not get it..it is such bs

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durkadurka Established Member

durkadurka

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I was dating a guy for 5 years and about a week after he found another girl and is planning on getting married with her. The stupid thing is that when we officially broke up he said I will always love you no matter what....no he says no I never loved you...I do not get it..it is such bs

 

You really need to get over yourself.

 

I've been reading all your posts and you're driving me nuts.

 

This has nothing to do with the topic at hand really.

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