deejmonster Posted September 21, 2010 Posted September 21, 2010 Hey guys, I am new to this website... but am an avid user of enotalone... I came here with a question that I posted on that website.. because I am very much confused of what to do. I will post my thread below. I will warn you.. it is very long. I just ask that people be respectful and keep an open mind while reading my story. I will let you know now that I do want to stay and wait for her... and how long I wait will be determined on if my makes sense. I ask that you be polite and if you disagree please tell me why.. but know that i am pretty confused right now.. but I think that I am on to something. So here it is.... Can you see the pattern too? [WARNING: EXTREMELY LONG POST] (This may get long but it is worth it.. you have to read it all to see what I and many other people see) Here are some old threads that back up what I am saying... [COLOR=#417394]http://www.enotalone.com/forum/showt...ing-everything[/COLOR].. (Pay attention to all of Jpo responses (they makle perfect sense)) I have posted about this a lot.. and I know that some people are going to tell me that I am not getting the point. I honestly and respectfully ask that you do not tell me to drop it and move on.. I have gone to many people about this new story and before I could get to the end of the story... they all saw that something is out of the normal.. and that she is trying to send me a message... and to them and to me... IT MAKES PERFECT SENSE. You do not have to know the girl in order to see the hidden message.. Please bear with me. Ok... so here it goes... This girl and I have been off and on since April. We dated briefly and called the quits because of bad timing. We still liked each other and took the whole summer to get to know each other. We were away from college so.. we didnt see one another for 4 months. Over the summer I had the feeling that she still liked me... and I came up with several theories that turned out to be true. Come fall.. a few weeks ago I asked her out again. She said yes, and told me that she never did stop liking me and was really happy that I came back and asked her out. She admitted to playing games with me over the summer and knew that I liked her.. and just liked the feeling of being chased... no biggie.. She told me that she felt this connection with me.. and that she felt like she would always come back to me no matter what.. and she didn't know why. She said she had never felt that way and that she really liked how I waited for her and didn't move on. She had plans for us... she really wanted to be with me.. from the things she said. We were drunk.. but we knew what we were doing... I and everyone else who has seen this.. knows that she wasnt playing games here.. and was seriously into me... our relationship lasted about 10 days. During these 10 days, we did stuff together and I was being careful.. and I didn't see any red flags. She gave me a note that said all the things she liked about me... and she stole my hoodie and has yet to give it back.. we went out and had fun.. and she wasn't afraid of being seen with me. Well 10 days into it she gets a message from a guy named Andy.. an old flame.. she freaked out.. and soon after we broke up... her reason being that.. she thought that she had gotten over him.. and when she saw his name... she instantly went back to where she was before. She said it wasn't fair for me to be with her when she still liked another guy. She also told me that those two would never be together... because he never really wanted her.. she always wanted him... she said that he treated her like crap and that he only comes around when she is unavailable emotionally or when she is with someone else... but she doesn't know why she still likes him. She told me that when she sees him she gets butterflies... but she knows he will only use her and hurt her..ANDY IS NOW IN A RELATIONSHIP but told her a few days prior to him and this other girl getting together that he still liked her. and when she sees me.. she sees the nicest guy in the world.. but doesn't get the butterflies... We were alone when this happened.. the girl cried.. I knew it was real.. she wasnt attempting to play games with me.. but she thought that she was over him.. I was sooooo MAD.. i think I scared her... I felt led on.. I felt used.. she obviously saw this too. That night we talked a little bit.. saying that we would be friends.. she never shut the door on "us". The next 2 days.. she would look at me when she saw me.. and immediately look away.. she looked sad.. and depressed... This got to her... She wouldn't talk to me... and she refused to meet with me... over the course of 3 more days.. she got drunk on 2 of those nights.. calling/texting me.. asking me to not hate her.. and telling me that she hated herself.. but never telling me why.. she felt terrible for hurting me and she couldn't live with it.. I talked to people about this and my one buddy who is significantly older than me.. told me that he was once in the same situation... and that this girl was just like the girl he had.. and that she came back.. it took years.. but she and him are in love again.. So hear comes the final stretch... She went from hot to cold within a course of 12 hours. Up until this night that she called me.. we didn't talk.. we were still both very upset... and well we didn't have much to say. It was Friday evening... she went out with a girlfriend and got black out drunk.. walked home by herself... and called ME... on the way home.. I was asleep and didnt hear it... 20 minutes later... she calls ME again.. I hear it.. I pick up.. she cant talk.. thats how drunk she is... i asked her if she was ok.. she managed to tell me that she was safe and in her room... she is so drunk that she cant move... she keeps hanging up on me and calling me back.. she is alone.. her roommate went home. She manages to tell me that she "still" hates herself.. I feel bad because i see that she is still upset over this.. and it bothers me.. I ask her why.. and she tries to tell me that she just does... I calmly talk to her until she falls asleep on the phone.. and the next morning I get an IM from her that says: thanks for talking to me last night... I said that she was quite welcome... and we continue to talk like we did over the summer.. like nothing ever happened. It was a cold to hot change over night... her and I have this ongoing joke about how there is nothing ever on tv on the weekend... and usually thats when the good shows/movies are on... Here is where things get interesting... She tells me that the "notebook" is on.. and she says that she hates that movie...I ask her why.. and she says that it is because she has seen it soooo many times (FLAG)... (she has seen it sooo many times that she knows everything that happens in the movie without needing to watch it.) she then asks me if I have ever seen it.. I say no.. she says.. well you NEED to watch it.. I tell her that I am watching spongebob.. and she knows how much I like that show.. her repsonse is: So what?. So I turn the channel and begin to watch the movie.. she goes.. I am going to leave you alone now. I ask why? she says.. because YOU NEED TO PAY ATTENTION TO THE MOVIE. (FLAG) Periodically... she would check in and ask if i was still watching it... I told her yes.. and she would dissappear.. my buddy and I knew something was up.. immediately after the movie was over.. she starting talkin to me again.. (FLAG) she asked if I cried.. I told her that i wouldnt tell her (jokingly). We continued to talk... My buddy who has been along with me with this told me that people usually ask you to do something when they get something out of it.. why would she TELL me to watch this movie if she wasn't somehow getting something out of it? she goes out again that night.. she told me that she wasnt going to bring her keys with her.. and that she would only bring her Drivers Liscense and Debit card.. she was again.. going out with a close friend... i told her to bring her school ID.. so she could get back into the dorm (electronic entry) and she said.. no... I will be coming back with Mary... she made it a point to tell me that she would be coming home with who she came with.. I found that strange.. (FLAG) almost as if she knew she wasnt going to be taking anyone home or something risky like that... well.. she then changed her mind.. and said.. maybe i should bring it just in case... they go out.. have fun.. and I dont hear the phone ring.. she ALWAYS calls me when she is drunk.. idk why.. but she does.. I was starting to worry.. and around 2:30 i get a text from her saying... Are you awake?... I lie.. I say.. yes im awake.. i cant sleep.. she goes: Lol.. come up to my room. (FLAG) I agree... and come up... why would she want me up there at that hour? She could have easily had continued texting me.. or called me.. or IMed me.. but she wanted me to physically see her... I go up and she doesn't appear to be all the drunk.. we talk for over an hour.. as friends.. at a 1 or 2 points I caught her starring at me.. like girls do.. this is something she would do when we were together.. and when i caught her.. she couldnt look away.. We didn't do anything. she touched me with her foot a few times a got a little close.. and stole my phone.. but no sex or anything risky.. she knew she couldnt. She told me that she texted 5 people that night (her roommate, her cousin, her bestfriend, this andy kid from before, and....... ME) (FLAG). All these people have something in common.. they are all close with her.. and if i was just going to be some random friend... then why would I be on that list? I noticed that she kept bringing that Andy kid up. My buddy who was texting me at the time said that she is tryin to reach a reaction... I didnt react and kept my cool. I asked her if she came back with mary and she said.. no.. i came back by myself.. I found that odd.. and she said that when the bar closed... her friends and mary asked her if she wanted to go to a house party.. and she declined (FLAG).. this is being flagged because... This girl is a social butterfly. She loves to drink and have fun.. she loves to meet new people and loves to talk to everyone.. it was a Saturday.. she didn't need to be anywhere on Sunday.. and she has nobody waiting for her.. no family, no roommate, no boyfriend. So why not party?... I noticed that she was only texting her cousin.. who was also drunk.. Nobody else.. just her and I... I find this strange (FLAG)... she kept bringing up Andy.. to possibly rise a reaction.. and my buddy said.. you are worried about her liking him?, who is in her room right now? You or him? He goes on to say that she wanted to see you.. have you in her presence... be around you.. all that...He said.. it means something.. so go with it.. She was in a car accident right before school.. and that night she took a muscle relaxer... I at one point asked her if she wanted me to stay.. and before i could finish my sentence.. she shot me a strange look.. and I told her that i didnt mean stay the night.. just until she fell asleep.. and she looked relieved. I was talking to her and she started reaching up her shirt and without making eye contact with her.. i could see that she was starring at me.. i felt weird looking at her while she was doing this.. and I noticed that she was unhooking her bra... (FLAG) she took it off under her shirt.. and threw it on the ground.. all while looking at me.. no smile.. just that stare... why would she do this with a random friend? ... she wouldn't.. she shortly after layed down and started to fall asleep. I told her goodnight.. and she asked that i turn her tv and light off.. and i did.. and left. (Semi-FLAG) the way she said it.. she wanted to be with me before she fell asleep.. she felt comfortable around me and possibly felt protected? Its a trend.. she always wanted me around when she was drunk.. and all those times she was interested in me.. the next day roles around and we talk some more... not the whole day.. but i notice that we dont talk when she goes to work.. a bit after work she sends me a text.. 3-4 hours later.. i know that i am on her mind... after that we talk a few bits more.. and all of the sudden she goes cold again... i talked to her a tid bit yesterday.. and nothing at all today... AND the FINALE! I think that i figured out what is going on... ABOVE was the time line.. and BELOW is what i think she was trying to say... When we started dating.. we was fully commited. She knew she wanted me.. no games anymore.. no using.. no leading me on.. She wanted this. This guy comes around and she realized that she thought she was settled.. and deeply she wasnt. She is scared and confused. She has to break up with me because her feelings aren't straight. She sees how hurt and angry I am.. and realizes that her actions just possibly ruined her chances of being with me.. she notices that I am upset and thinks.. he is going to hate me.. he is going to move on.. and find someone else... she gets upset because her emotions ruined it all... and now she just lost quite possibly the best thing in her life. She cant look at me.. she sees the mistake.. and feels guilty.. she gets drunk and becomes honest.. she hates herself.. she knows she messed up but she can't ask me to wait for her. I tell her that i still like her.. and she tells me that cant be with me.. I feel like she wants me to wait.. but thats not her choice.. she sees that i was driven away.. and immediately panics and says things when she is drunk.. once she notices that i still want to talk to her and that i answer her calls and put up with her when she is in her worst mood.. she notices that I am not leaving her.. And i am not.. She knows I like her because i tell her.. and it sinks in.. she comes around... she wants me to watch this movie... and you have to see the movie to know.. The movie is a symbol.. she knows that by me seeing it.. i will draw the connection to her and I.. and she is tryin to say that.. we were together.. and we are apart.. but she will be with me in the end. Patience.. its going to take time for her to get over this other guy... and when she does she will come back. She knew i would see her and I.. and therefore I think it would be messed up for her to tell me to watch this if there was no hidden message.. She invites me to her room.. she shows me that she values my precense and she enjoys bein around me. It shows me that she still wants to be around me... She doesnt talk to this andy kid.. but puts all her focus on me. Just her and I.. She feels comfortable around me.. The movie is what set me off... Once she knew I wasnt leaving her.. she had the choice to tell me that i shouldnt wait.. but she never said that... she likes me still.. feelings dont change overnight.. and there was no other reason for the break up. She likes two guys.. and she has to pick one.. and she knows im the right choice.. but she had to know that i would wait.. and once she figured that out.. she was able to calm down and come around... she initiates all contact... she chooses for me to physically see her.. and not hide behind technology.. she knows that she wants me but has to seal her past feelings for this other man.. and she is showing me with things that she still wants me around her.. I dont think that she wants her cake and wants to eat it too.. its too elaborate.. she felt the pain.. and the guilt and told me that she was going to learn from this and that nobody was going to help her. Everyone that i have told.. seems to see the pattern. Not one person doesn't see it. Does anyone here notice that she is trying to send me a message? They all see the pattern before i get to the end.. I hope you do to. The attached post is related because Jpo.. tells me that she will do things like this and she is the type to play games.. and you have to play to win.. There are games.. I see them.. but they are ones meant to show me that she isn't leaving either.. they are not meant to be sinister.. but can be very frustrating. I simply ask that you respond to whether you see the pattern or not.. i will not take kindly to critism about waiting or playing games or about wasting my time and moving on. That is all besides the point at the moment. I know what i am getting into.. and i aware of what is going on.. I see it all.. If you disagree please let me know kindly on what you see different. These are all facts.. only the interpretation is mine...
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