blackmailedbeauty Posted September 21, 2010 Posted September 21, 2010 me and my ex broke up just over 2 years ago now, when we were together i owe him $1,000 in AUD for those in america and other parts of the world, now yes while we were together i said i would pay it back and after we did break up we were still friends but then things went very bitter very quickly, and after things being bitter i said i would by the end of this year, keep in mind peeps this guy wasent i would say the best boyfriend in the world, every little thing he paid for he would "put it on my tab" and other things like this, in the last 5 months of me seeing this other amazing man i have been getting emails from him sending me on guilt trips bout getting the money things like "i need to money to go on my holiday to america or visa wont let me in" and "i did so much for you while we were together and treated you so well after we broke up i never expected the money" blah blah blah im just seeing what i should do.....my new boyfriend doesent want me to pay the money he feels after all he put me thru i owe him nothing and alot of my friends and family see this aswell.....but should i? or is this him trying to still control me??? please help
Fouts Posted September 21, 2010 Posted September 21, 2010 Controlling you? Tell him to get a life. If that kind of money is going to make or break him, he's got alot bigger problems than trying to get it back from you. Move on and let this loser go for good.
Fruitpunch Posted September 21, 2010 Posted September 21, 2010 Sorry but i disagree here. If you told him you would pay the money back then you need to pay it back. If you dont want any ties to him then the easiest way of doing this is by giving him his money back. And if your new bf feels so strongly about it how about he pays. You broke up , that doesnt mean you are free of all financial responsibilities
PegNosePete Posted September 21, 2010 Posted September 21, 2010 I'm in the opposite situation. When my partner needed a new car we decided that rather than get an auto loan (high interest) we would be better off taking the money from the flexible mortgage, which is all in my name, and a much lower interest rate. We did this on the understanding that she would pay me back on a monthly basis until the mortgage was back to where it was. That would have costed her much less than buying a new car on finance. Now we split up... and she is refusing to pay me back. So I am stuck with £7000 higher mortgage, she has a £8000 car for which she made less than a year's worth of payments, and there isn't much I can do about it. So yes, if you agreed to pay it back, then pay it back.
LoveTruthChaos Posted September 21, 2010 Posted September 21, 2010 I'm in the opposite situation. When my partner needed a new car we decided that rather than get an auto loan (high interest) we would be better off taking the money from the flexible mortgage, which is all in my name, and a much lower interest rate. We did this on the understanding that she would pay me back on a monthly basis until the mortgage was back to where it was. That would have costed her much less than buying a new car on finance. Now we split up... and she is refusing to pay me back. So I am stuck with £7000 higher mortgage, she has a £8000 car for which she made less than a year's worth of payments, and there isn't much I can do about it. So yes, if you agreed to pay it back, then pay it back. Pete, I feel really bad for you mate. That is rough. If I ever get married, there will be no joint finances of any kind. My Mum taught me a lot of mistakes from her divorce, and I won't let those lessons be learnt in vain. I really hope everything works out for you
stillafool Posted September 21, 2010 Posted September 21, 2010 My head is hurting from the run on sentences, whew! Anyway, pay him back the money you owe him. It's completely tacky not to pay him back. If your new bf doesn't want you to pay him back then he should cough up the money and pay him. Things like this is what gives women a "skank" reputation.
LoveAintEverything Posted September 21, 2010 Posted September 21, 2010 He is trying to control you. Who keeps tabs on their bf or gf anyways...$1000 is a lot, but if he wasn't the greatest, I would forget about it
TaraMaiden Posted September 21, 2010 Posted September 21, 2010 If you make a commitment, then be a person of your word, because otherwise, you gain a reputation for deceit and being untrustworthy. Put it this way, on your record, currently, if you were to ask me for a loan, you'd be wanting a long time. I'd hesitate to lend you money, because if you'd only pay me back on the proviso we get on well, then that's blackmail, isn't it? Why did you owe him the money when you got on with him, but suddenly, you don't feel you owe him the money just because you now don't? Feelings for a person shouldn't determine your moral obligations. If you owe him the money, you acknowledge you owe him the money, and you told him you'd pay the money back, then do it. Say what you mean, mean what you say, face up to your responsibilities and do the right thing.
2sunny Posted September 21, 2010 Posted September 21, 2010 if you said originally that you'd pay it - then pay it back. it's the right thing to keep your word... and it clears YOUR conscience that you DID the right thing. ps - your new BF isn't very nice to tell you to not pay... his values seem a bit weak. stop listening to people trying to find the easy way out of doing what's right. start paying a small amount - anything. get the debt paid as soon as possible. you've been apart two years - in that time, how much have you paid him back... any of the $1,000.00 you owe? if you haven't paid anything - that's absurd... you should be paying at least something every month that moves along. IF you'd been paying 50.00 each month - it would have been paid off by now.
Lost Fish Posted September 21, 2010 Posted September 21, 2010 Pay the man back. How he behaves or what happened to your relationship has nothing to do with the money you owe him. I loaned a friend 2000 dollars when we were roommates to help him fly to Europe with his girlfriend. Then we had a falling out. We don't even speak anymore, but he still is paying me back on a monthly basis. Once you pay him, then you can move on with a clear conscience. To me it seems like you are seeking validation from LoveShack for reasoning to weasel out of paying the man. Pay him back!
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