My story...just want someone to listen...

[wesc011]

Hey everyone...

 

For starters, I'm 22 years old. The girl I have been with for the past year and a half is 20. We go to school 2 hours apart, but are from the same hometown. I am graduating in December, and chose to move to her city and commute to class Tues through Thurs. I have a lot of friends in her city and its halfway between school and home so its a good place. I am currently living with 2 of my friends.

 

My ex and I had a very up and down relationship. We fought like cats and dogs. We were both very stubborn and hardheaded. For example, for our one year anniversary I got us a hotel room. She got some lingerie and surprised me with it...we were going to have a great night but she ended up getting very sick. Instead of taking care of her, I got mad and went to sleep. Well this was just the climax of a few months of me neglecting her.

 

This led up to her developing sort of a crush on a guy at the restaurant we work at this past May. Long story short, I found out that they had been hanging out behind my back and broke up with my gf. Over and over and over again. But I kept taking her back. She fought tooth and nail for it. Over the next 2 months or so we couldn't stop fighting because even though she cut the guy off i secretly resented her for it and subconsciously i guess I just wanted to punish her. For the past couple months the fights just kept getting worse and worse.

 

2 weeks ago, one little petty argument turned into a breakup. I stuck with it this time. For 5 days I ignored her as much as I could. We had never been broken up for more than a day, so this was tough on both of us. She called texted and begged me back the whole five days. Finally, I had enough and finally caved. I was ready to be with her and be a better boyfriend. We met up and everything seemed normal.

 

However, suddenly she went cold. She was all of a sudden skeptical about our relationship and decided that she "needed time". I obviously thought this was odd considering she had previously been begging and pleading for me. Well come to find out, she started hanging out with a guy from one of her classes. She claimed he was just a friend, but it seemed pretty clear that it was a little more. They hung out a lot more often than 'friends' do. I suddenly got very jealous (because this reminded me of the previous time she had developed feelings for another guy) and it started a series of fights. However, I was determined that we were meant to be together and I fought for it. I begged, pleaded, cried (i know....), promised to be a great boyfriend, etc. etc. but it kept pushing her further and further away.

 

Fast forward to this past saturday. She spent Friday night with me, and we seemed to be perfectly fine when i was on the way to work saturday. She was gonig out with some friends and she invited me to meet up with them at the party they were going to once i was off work.

 

Late saturday night when I was off work, i called her and she seemed very annoyed. She said she was in a rush to get ready and couldn't talk. i said okay, and gave her a ltitle time. she texted me an hour or so later saying that the party was not good and there was no point in me coming. She wanted me to pick her up later that night so she could stay with me.

 

2 or so hours pass and its 230 in the morning. I had to work the next day so I texted her asking how long they would be because I was tired. She didn't respond, so I called her and was treated to the most vicious, mean-spirited tirade I had ever heard. Turns out, she decided to go to the bar with her friends and got very drunk (she doesn't do that often). She proceeded to tell me that she had no feelings for me, never wanted to see me again, etc. etc. All the while her and her friends were laughing in the background. It felt like a punch in the gut. i was so upset.

 

the next morning, she apologized and said that she didn't mean any of it. i asked her to give me a straight up answer: do you want me or not? she said she did, but didn't think it would work out. so i said fine.

 

she ignored me today but i got her to agree that we would take a couple weeks off (even the past 2 weeks when we've been "broken up" we've talked almost every day, even if it was just a text or two) and revisit our relationship. The two of us were madly in love, but its obvious that she's trying to get out of the relationship. I am so miserable now because we live 2 minutes apart and all I want to do is just go hug her.

 

So now begins the "no contact period". Part of me thinks that she will eventually come to her senses and my old girl will come back (its like she's been a different person the last week) but another part of me thinks that she's too far gone. I want to have hope, but I honestly think she's alraedy on the rebound with some other guy. The only hope I have is that thsi break will give her a break from the stress of dealing with our arguments and clear her mind so she will realize what she's missing, but she has NEVER been this persistent about breaking up before. She has begged and pleaded for our relationship so many times, but it seems now that she is for real about it.

 

I just wanted someone to listen to my story...and if you did then thanks. I am convinced that this girl and I were meant to be (she has always told me that) and I would hate for a tumultuous 2 weeks to ruin a year and a half relationship.

Edited September 21, 2010 by wesc011

[Space Ritual]

Well young man, I hate to tell you but I think your relationship has run its course. Given her actions over the past few months with the two guys and the "he's just a friend" schtick, and also the drunken tirade, i am afraid you have snapsot of what the rest of your relationship at this point in time is going to be like should you stay in it.

 

That is not to say after both of you mature a little bit, and perhaps date other people that you won't find your way back to each other.

 

However, I am afraid what she did at the bar to you speaks volumes. You may think that it was a one time incident. It won't be, If her friends were laughing in the background, that also means those same friends will be more than happy to set her up behind your back should you two get back together or cover up for her should she begin hooking up while you are not around.

 

A tough pill to swallow to be sure, but do yourself a favor and start looking elsewhere. she takes you for granted, and you will rapidly become a doormat for her, and no woman respects a doormat.

 

sorry if you feel this harsh but Id rather be brutally honest with you than blow smoke up your ass. I would be doing us both a disservice.

The writing is on the wall and this is as good as it's going to get. If you can accept that, good luck to you. But I think you know as well as I do that this relationship has seen its last sunrise. Move on now and spare yourself a lot of heartache.

Edited September 21, 2010 by Space Ritual
spelling

[Leandro]

Sometimes the ones we love change. There is nothing we can do but go NC. If the two of you are meant to be then it will happen. It might not happen for a while. Only time can tell. Just focus on you! Don't worry if he's a rebound or not, it will drive you insane.

[wesc011]

Thanks for the replies. No contact is definitely the only option now. I have looked pathetic over the past week or so begging for her back (she always complained that she was the only one fighting for our relationship so i thought maybe it would work) but I finally got the hint after her drunken tirade.

 

so this begins NC. we both have agreed to do this, so we'll see what happens. I know 100% now that there is absolutely NOTHING i can say to her to change her mind, so all I can do is work on improving myself and try to keep my mind off things. I will not break NC for any reason whatsoever. So if she doesn't talk to me again, she never will again. I'm hoping that a couple days without the stress of arguing with me will rekindle the flame, but realistically its probably gonna take much longer than that. She is very needy though and we were each others best friends...a HUGE part of each others' lives.

 

I guess I just don't want her to move on to her new guy and forget all about me,...and when she does break NC how am I supposed to know if its simply because she's lonely or if she wants me back? Keep in mind I did NC for 5 days and she begged non-stop only to change her mind when I finally gave in..

Edited September 21, 2010 by wesc011

[Space Ritual]

It doesn't matter...she will whether you like it or not...I guarantee you her friends will see to it.

 

She does not have any respect for you.

[wesc011]

Well, I slipped up this morning. I went to sleep ready to go NC for as long as it took for her to either want me back or for me to get over her. Woke up to a text asking if me and her got back together, because she removed her "single" status from facebook. Obviously we hadn't..so in a moment of weakness I texted her and asked why she took off her "single" status so soon. The rest is as follows:

 

Her: "I took it off single because i was sick of people commenting on it and asking me about it."

 

Me: "Please jsut tell me if you are moving on or have already. I am so drained from worrying about this and I Just want closure. If you have then I understand'

 

She responded with "Please leave me alone about this. I just want one day where I don't have to think about all of this. I only got 3 hrs of sleep last night studying for an exam and I am so tired."

 

Me: Okay i'll stop talking to you.

 

 

 

 

Yeah, pathetic I know. But I keep hoping that if I give her a couple days to clear her head she will come to her senses. So that's what I'm going to do (for real this time). Its true that the past 2 weeks have been very stressful for the both of us (her begging me back the first week and me begging her back the second) so maybe a few days of NC will help us out.

 

I'm going to let her break it. Depending on what she says whenever she does decide to break NC i'm going to go from there. But for now I'm just going to try and move on. I'll be posting here just to give myself an outlet for my emotions instead of spilling them out to her more than i already have. THanks for reading..

[wesc011]

So here's day 1: hour 2 (lol)

 

Im sitting in class thinking about her like I have been all week. Wondering if she's thinking about me. She probably isn't. They have homecoming all week and I know she's going to be out having fun with her friends while I'm stuck here at school 2 hours away until Thursday.

 

Going out thursday night with some friends so that should be fun, but its going to be weird without her there. I'm not going to drunk call or text her, I am determined not to. My parents are bringing my puppy back on Friday (shes been gone a couple weeks) so that will be a nice distraction, but me and the ex got the puppy together so all she does is remind me of her...

[wesc011]

UPDATE: not a really big deal, but the ex (after like 12 hours NC) texts me to say she needs the pens she loaned me and her swipe card for work (we both wait tables). both of those are replaceable but i don't want to look like a jerkoff. i'm 2 hours away at the moment but my roommates are there. should i text her back and tell her she can pick them up if she wants, or ignore her?