last_one Posted September 21, 2010 Posted September 21, 2010 I've had a girlfriend for about 5 months but have recently met another girl while on vacation. She also had a boyfriend which wasn't vacationing with her. We pretty much fell for one another and wanted to keep on seeing each other. We started talking a lot after we came back and went out on a few dates. Last one got pretty physical and we stopped short of doing it. I didn't want to cheat on our partners and told her we should break things off first. She keeps on saying that she's very glad she's met me but doesn't know if I'm serious about her or not. She's also afraid of breaking things off with her boyfriend of 4 years because she dreads hurting him. I went ahead and broke things off with my gf and told the new girl I'd rather not meet her until she breaks things off as well. She keeps on calling me, writing to me, she wants to see me again but is afraid of breaking things off with her current bf. I told her I won't wait around forever for her to make up her mind. What do I do now ? Should I wait ? How long ?
FryFish Posted September 21, 2010 Posted September 21, 2010 How long should a person wait for a cheater...?
PegNosePete Posted September 21, 2010 Posted September 21, 2010 If someone cheats with you, they'll cheat on you too. That goes for both you and her. You need to stay single until you can be mature enough for a proper relationship.
Dexter Morgan Posted September 21, 2010 Posted September 21, 2010 I told her I won't wait around forever for her to make up her mind. What do I do now ? Should I wait ? How long ? well you already broke up with your gf, so your part in cheating now is really a moot point. But how long should you wait for this cheating girl? Forever! A cheater is worth the wait. Seriously though, she IS a cheater, what the hell is worth waiting about that? What? you think she won't be looking to better deal you if she is out on the town with the girls or vacationing without you?
Author last_one Posted September 21, 2010 Author Posted September 21, 2010 well you already broke up with your gf, so your part in cheating now is really a moot point. But how long should you wait for this cheating girl? Forever! A cheater is worth the wait. Seriously though, she IS a cheater, what the hell is worth waiting about that? What? you think she won't be looking to better deal you if she is out on the town with the girls or vacationing without you? I'm really not sure why everyone here is so bitter about this. She's not better than my ex-gf. I'm no better than her current bf. We just have more attraction and chemistry towards one another than towards our current partners. These things happen. I know it sucks for the gf/bf left behind but that's how life goes. edit: and before I get told what will happen when she gets more chemistry with someone else... I think that after a few long relationships, if one is smart enough, they know how to keep the attraction present. If not..well, that's life.
Dexter Morgan Posted September 21, 2010 Posted September 21, 2010 I'm really not sure why everyone here is so bitter about this. not bitter, we just are able to think with our big heads. if she is cheating with you, she will cheat on you when you are the same piece of meat she has been messing around with for too long. edit: and before I get told what will happen when she gets more chemistry with someone else... I think that after a few long relationships, if one is smart enough, they know how to keep the attraction present. If not..well, that's life. its not about attraction. Jennifer Anniston remained highly attractive when with Brad Pitt. Its about variety. People who cheat want variety. Even the most attractive and hot people get cheated on. cheaters just get bored with the same person for too long no matter how hot they can get it in bed. Its a character issue.
FryFish Posted September 21, 2010 Posted September 21, 2010 I think that you, a cheater yourself, and this new cheater will have a short and psychotic relationship... And that you both deserve it. You know why she wont break up with her current BF last one? Because she is NOT all that attracted to you. She likes the fun she has with you while CHEATING on her BF but she does not really like YOU. She is a cake eater and YOU are just another piece.
Author last_one Posted September 22, 2010 Author Posted September 22, 2010 cheaters just get bored with the same person for too long no matter how hot they can get it in bed. Its a character issue. I'm not really sure what to make of this. From a natural point of view, as mammals, we are supposed to mate with as many people as possible in order to ensure the spreading of our genes and a greater variety. Sure, it sucks when it happens to you, but I don't think it's a 'bad' issue. It's simply a natural phenomena that made our species continue living on this planet for millions of years. After all, as humans, we will get over someone cheating on us. However, our survivability ( defined by variety in our genes ) will be greatly diminished if we're all monogamous.
Author last_one Posted September 22, 2010 Author Posted September 22, 2010 I think that you, a cheater yourself, and this new cheater will have a short and psychotic relationship... And that you both deserve it. You know why she wont break up with her current BF last one? Because she is NOT all that attracted to you. She likes the fun she has with you while CHEATING on her BF but she does not really like YOU. She is a cake eater and YOU are just another piece. Thanks for the encouragement! I honestly prefer short and psychotic to long and boring. Just what I was looking for
PegNosePete Posted September 22, 2010 Posted September 22, 2010 I'm not really sure what to make of this. From a natural point of view, as mammals, we are supposed to mate with as many people as possible in order to ensure the spreading of our genes and a greater variety. Sure, it sucks when it happens to you, but I don't think it's a 'bad' issue. It's simply a natural phenomena that made our species continue living on this planet for millions of years. After all, as humans, we will get over someone cheating on us. However, our survivability ( defined by variety in our genes ) will be greatly diminished if we're all monogamous. So, find someone who wants an open relationship. Don't go around hurting people who expect monogamy from you.
Dexter Morgan Posted September 22, 2010 Posted September 22, 2010 I'm not really sure what to make of this. From a natural point of view, as mammals, we are supposed to mate with as many people as possible in order to ensure the spreading of our genes and a greater variety. so thats your excuse?
FryFish Posted September 23, 2010 Posted September 23, 2010 He might be onto something.... If there werent over 6 BILLION people on the planet and if NO other successful species was monogamous. Ya, if not for those two GLARING mistakes he MIGHT be onto something. last one... You know that we NATURALLY have the urge to kill almost everything we see when we find out we have been cheated on right... It helps to ensure that the kids we raise are actually our kids. Helps to ensure we pass on our genes... Think before you pretend to know...
Author last_one Posted September 23, 2010 Author Posted September 23, 2010 He might be onto something.... If there werent over 6 BILLION people on the planet and if NO other successful species was monogamous. Ya, if not for those two GLARING mistakes he MIGHT be onto something. last one... You know that we NATURALLY have the urge to kill almost everything we see when we find out we have been cheated on right... It helps to ensure that the kids we raise are actually our kids. Helps to ensure we pass on our genes... Think before you pretend to know... You just prove my point even more. Because other species might be monogamous ( and successful at it! ) doesn't mean that we must also be. We are simply another specie with different instincts. We have only been 6 billion people for 20 years. We have only been 'civilized' for what ? 4/5 000 years ? The human species and its instincts goes back millions of years. You can't erase genetic traits acquired over such a long timespan in 50 years. We are 6 billion now, but we used to be only a handful and mating with as many people as possible was the best thing to do. You are right about the killing, but did you stop to think why we have that instinct ? The human nature has been honed and refined like I said above over millions of years. We became the best ( not the worst! ) at surviving our environment. Every trait of character, every urge to kill, every urge to cheat, lie, steal is there because it serves the purpose of furthering our survivability. It's only with the advent of the modern religions that society started to see the human beings as being flawed and in need of 'salvation'. Truth is, we are not flawed, we are not good or bad. We are just a specie that evolved doing whatever was necessary to survive. Trying to go against who you are and what you feel will only make you miserable in the end. That being said, I hope we can close this topic. I've been cheated on before in a terrible way, I know how much it hurts. I don't wish this upon anyone and that's why this time around, when I felt an attraction towards someone else I ended my relationship promptly and graciously. You can't blame anyone for feeling attraction and deciding to leave their current partner
PegNosePete Posted September 23, 2010 Posted September 23, 2010 Why did you post this thread? You're not looking for other people's opinions and not listening to anything that anyone else says. You're just looking for sycophants to tell you how right you are?
Author last_one Posted September 23, 2010 Author Posted September 23, 2010 Why did you post this thread? You're not looking for other people's opinions and not listening to anything that anyone else says. You're just looking for sycophants to tell you how right you are? does it seem to you that I got any advice ? All I got was snotty remarks from bitter people about what evil persons we are for feeling attraction towards someone other than our (ex)-partners. in any case, to really close the thread, she left him yesterday.
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